August | 2013 | BulgingButtons

August 6, 2013
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The Perils of Fruit

So I’m trying to make better food choices as part of my 47 for 47 challenge, and as a result I’ve been trying to eat more fruit. When I was visiting my mom it was easy. Every morning a plate of delicious cut fruit magically appeared on the breakfast table. While visiting I counted no fewer than ten types of fruit in the house at all times. There were juicy grapes, sweet pineapple, succulent peaches, crisp apples, delicious berries of several varieties, and more. It was fantastic. When I got home I resolved to continue my fruit eating ways. A trip to the store later, and there were several types at my house. Funny thing though, they just weren’t as good. The grapes tasted sour, the strawberries lacked any flavor at all, and the nectarines were crunchy. Nectarines are not supposed to be crunchy. I didn’t give up, though. I keep buying fruit, and sometimes even eat it. The cantaloupe in the fridge right now is wonderful. I’m told I’m too picky about fruit, and that it’s supposed to taste like that. I disagree. Fruit can be one of nature’s most wonderful delights, or it can be a revolting mouthful of sour mush. I’ll keep trying, but some fruit is just not that good. I wish my mom and her grocery store were here to help.

August 5, 2013
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I’m So Excited!

I’ve been feeling a little like Agnes from Despicable Me recently. At first glance, Agnes and I might not seem to have much in common, but bear with me and I’ll explain. First of all, she’s the little sister. She has older sisters who lead the way and look out for her. I have an older brother who looked out for me when we were kids, and sometimes still does. This was especially true when our parents weren’t around. Next, Agnes was adopted. Hey, me too! Of course my story and hers differ in lots of ways too, but right now the reason I feel most like Agnes is her exuberance. She is one excitable little girl. Agnes knows what she likes and shows great joy when things go her way. Right now it really feels like things are going my way, and I can’t help thinking of little Agnes, and smiling. I can almost hear her voice in my head proclaiming, “Im so excited!” This is a really good time for me both personally and professionally, and I want to celebrate. Maybe I’ll get myself a fluffy unicorn in honor of little Miss Agnes.

August 4, 2013
by BulgingButtons 2 Comments

Oreo Habit

I am the girl with the Oreo habit. Ok, not a girl anymore, a full-fledged middle aged woman. I’m much too old to have an Oreo habit. But really it’s not an actual Oreo habit, it’s a sweet habit. No, that’s not even it. It’s a food habit. And it’s more than a habit, it’s an all out obsession. There, I said it. Will that make it go away? Of course not. I wish it were that simple. A public declaration, a little shaming and humiliation, a few minutes of feeling bad, then presto change-o… no more problem! I would do it. I really would. You want me to wear a sign for a day?Put it on the blog? Confess my sins to a talk show host? Fine.

I tried out for the Biggest Loser. I put on a dress that both made me look cute and made me look fat. I did my hair and make up , to the best of my ability, then toddled off to a local mall with folding chairs and my sweet boyfriend (who LOVES a big woman, lucky for me). I sat in line for hours, filling out forms and chatting with other fat women. Then I got my chance. I filed into the private space along with about a dozen other fat people and sat at the table with a giant grin pasted across my face. “Look at me! I’m fat! I have personality! Pick me, pick me!” But they didn’t. Secretly I was relieved. After all, I have a kid and a dog and a boyfriend and a job and a life. How could I jet off to “the ranch” to reinvent myself? And deep down the bigger question, how could I possibly face the humiliation of trying to do it on national t.v.?

I was terrified that they might pick me. After all, I had plenty to lose, I’m reasonably cute, and I’m pretty articulate. I reasoned that they didn’t want someone who would just cry and mumble the whole time. Not that I wouldn’t cry. I’m sure I would cry buckets. In fact, I had already decided that Jillian and Bob were too intense for me, so I would HAVE to be on Dolvett’s team. Do you think they take requests?

Anyway, that was over a year ago, and America managed another whole season of Biggest Loser without me. I didn’t watch. Well, not much anyway. I tend to feel too guilty. I much prefer Extreme Weightloss. One episode and it’s over. Besides, I like the one on one approach, and who could possibly resist Chris Powell? With him training me I would have to succeed, right? Maybe it’s time for another try out.