BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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Hey Google, Thanks for the Music

I’m not someone who always has music playing. I don’t keep the tv on for background noise. I like quiet. That doesn’t mean that I don’t like music and tv. I do. I just don’t always think of turning them on, since quiet is my default setting.

Well, lately that’s been changing, at least in one room of my home. In there I have a Google Home device (I’m sure there’s an exact model name, but I don’t have a clue what it is). It was a gift from my sweetheart so I could have my favorite photos scrolling while I work, since my last two digital frames have given out on me. It’s a thoughtful gift, but really the photos don’t look that great, or at least I haven’t quite figured it out yet.

What I have figured out is that I can say, “Hey Google, play Bob Marley” and it does. “Fine Young Cannibals.” “Pretty in Pink Soundtrack.” “Grateful Dead.” “Drake White.” “Aretha Franklin.” They’re all in there. Well, not exactly in there, but available. Today I was in a Monkees mood. It lasted about three songs, but Google doesn’t care how frequently I change my mind. “Housemartins.” “Hoodoo Gurus.” “The Alarm.” Google has no problem reaching into my past and pulling up the soundtrack. Thanks, Google.

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So Much for Early Boarding

Tomorrow I get to fly again. As many of you know, flying isn’t my favorite thing, due 99% to my size. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and downright embarrassing. Yet, I fly several times a year, because time is valuable too. Besides, who really wants to drive cross country a couple of times a year?

So, there’s an airline whose fares are typically lower than others, and it flies pretty much wherever I want to go. It also has a credit card that allows me to earn points toward my flights. For those reasons, I usually use said airline. Well, this particular airline doesn’t assign seats, just boarding groups based on when you check in (you can check in 24 hours in advance of your flight). Travelers, you know who I’m talking about.

Well, the airline came up with a plan to allow folks to get an earlier check in position by paying an extra fee. At first it was $12. Okay, for me it was worth it, especially if I was traveling with a companion. Finding two seats together once the plane starts filling up is tough. Then the fee went up. Now it’s $25 and I still pay it. Why? Because I’m fat.

If I can get on a little sooner, I can be sure to get a seatbelt extender with little drama. No flight attendant will tell me she/he has to track one down and then deliver it to me. Then I can slide into a window seat (where I can squish myself into the corner for the duration of the flight) as unobtrusively as possible. I can also avoid the looks of dread from people who see me coming and think to themselves, “God, I hope she doesn’t sit next to me.”

Well, today it happened. I checked in to my flight, after paying the extra fee, and I’m in the B group. NOOOOO. That means after all the A group and family boarding I will finally get my chance. And I’m in the middle of the B group at that. So much for my $25 buying me some peace of mind. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I checked in exactly twenty-four hours before my flight.

So, wish me luck tomorrow. Hopefully I get a window seat. Hopefully there’s a seatbelt extender readily available (or available at all… perish the thought!). Hopefully I’ll get a seat mate who is skinny and not sick and doesn’t put her bare feet on the seat (that was my last flight…ew) and is just generally kind (and maybe not too talkative). Hopefully we have a smooth flight, otherwise those five hours are going to be torture.

And Airlines, don’t mess with the early check-in stuff. If you don’t have anymore available, don’t sell them. I wish I had my $25 back.

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It’s Travel Season Again

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Look at all that room! Ah, the good old days of air travel.

I’m packing up to hit the road again, and I’m kind of dreading it. Maybe because I’m not hitting the road at all, I’m hitting the skies. Hello seatbelt extender, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you, but we’re going to get cozy over the next couple of weeks. Six flights in all. Yuck. At least two of them feature my sweetheart, and two feature my son, and the final two feature a colleague, so I won’t be shoehorned between total strangers, but still…

Time to grin and bear it. If I have a good attitude, it will make it so much less unpleasant. Here’s to a positive attitude, and safe travels for all. Buckle up!