Stress | BulgingButtons

June 26, 2018
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Where Does the Day Go?

You know the old saying, if you want something done, give it to a busy person? Well, I feel like I’m not busy (since I’m not working this week) but, boy do I feel busy.

How do I get all those things done that I do during the school year? When do I grocery shop and do laundry, let alone go to the dentist, the bank, or, heaven forbid, the cable tv store to get a replacement remote? My non-work pace is slower, to be sure, but I still feel pulled in too many directions. I think it’s me, because really, I don’t have a whole lot I HAVE to do.

Sure, there are many things I SHOULD to do, but are they critical? No.

I should organize my studio (fancy way of saying office/craft room, but I like studio better).

I should rearrange parts of my kitchen that aren’t working well.

I should give my house a deep cleaning.

I should do some gardening.

I should clean out my closet.

I should do some editing of my manuscript.

I should read the professional book I just dropped $40 on.

I should restore my dining room to its former neat and tidy self.

I should exercise. Okay, I really should do this one.

I should plan a menu for the week, so we don’t end up grazing all week.

I should shop around for new car insurance.

I should take a closer look at all of my finanaces and make sure I’m not wasting my money.

I should write more.

So many I shoulds. We all have them. They suck the life out of me if I let them. I need to plan an organized attack on some of them and let others go, at least for now. Deep breaths. Prioritize. I can do this. So can you.

February 24, 2016
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Being With Myself

Well hello there. It’s been a while, and I have so much to say. So much that I find myself tongue-tied. Where to even begin?

I’m sure you all want to hear about my battle with strep throat, and how it sucker punched me. I’m equally sure you want to know that the medication I took for it didn’t exactly agree with me on all levels. I’ll leave it there for now, and let your active imagination fill in the blanks. Or better yet, don’t.

Then there was the epic trip to The Big Easy. Yes, it deserves all of those capital letters. New Orleans is like no other place on earth, and what better way to experience it than with seven like-minded female friends in a rented house near the French Quarter. I walked, I laughed, I danced, I drank, I ate, I slept, I sang, I played. I loved that trip, and I cherish the memories we made together. Yes, even the memory of paddling in circles in our defective kayak, but that’s another tale for another time.

Of course there has been the ongoing struggle with college applications and scholarships. There are so many t’s to cross and i’s to dot that it can make you crazy. The good news is that it forced me to do my taxes early, so I don’t have that hanging over my head. The bad news is that it never seems to end. Son is still waiting to hear back from three schools, and the waiting is hard on him. Ok, I confess, I don’t like it much either.

I guess what I’m trying to share with you, in a not so organized manner, is that life has been pulling at me lately, and I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed by all of its demands, both positive and negative. I’m in need of a brain break, one that doesn’t involve jazz music, or packing suitcases, or riding in a car with an inexperienced teen driver (did I mention that part? no?). One that doesn’t shoehorn in quick visits with out-of-town relatives and 30 parent-teacher conferences and trying to find time to really enjoy spending time with my mother. I know it sounds selfish to come back from a trip and ask for a break, but I need it. One where there aren’t piles of ungraded papers to greet me upon my return.

In the immortal words of Fergie, “I need to be with myself and center, clarity, peace, serenity…”

October 23, 2015
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I Need a Little Shabbat

Last Friday night at this time I was sitting in a synagogue breathing out the stress of the week and breathing in the peace of the Sabbath. It was calming and energizing at the same time. It gave me a fresh perspective and a positive outlook. I was able to enjoy my family and count my blessings, while I offered gratitude for both.

Fast forward a week and I’ve just walked in the door from an eleven hour workday at the end of a busy week. I could have easily stayed another three hours, but frankly I’m hungry and tired and not good for much more work today. Still, I have the work to do, so I lugged it all home in my full-to-overflowing L.L.Bean canvas tote bag. That thing is a workhorse.

I don’t feel the peace of the Sabbath tonight. I feel the stress of too much work, and I don’t like it. I have a writing deadline to meet, some lessons to plan, an important document to deliver, and a suitcase to unpack (from last week!) in my immediate future. Throw in some laundry, a trip to the credit union, a trip to the grocery store, and a couple of chapters of manuscripts to read and review, and there goes the weekend.

I think I have to make a choice. I think I have to prioritize. I think I can send off my work, light my Sabbath candles, and take some time for reflection. It’s not perfect. It’s not even technically correct, but I think it just might work for me. I’m pretty sure that it’s okay. Even a little bit of Shabbat is better than none.