BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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And Now This…

Well hello. Long time, no see.

My apologies.

I could give you a list of excuses, but let’s just not do that, ok?

Frankly, I haven’t had the writing mojo lately. I haven’t had much mojo at all lately, if I’m really honest. My house is a mess, my body is worse, and my get up and go got up and went. And then I went to the doctor.

You see, I’ve had a difficult year. Nothing bad has happened. Not. One. Thing.

My son is fine, my sweetheart is fine, even the dog is fine. Thank goodness.

My work was rewarding, my class was one of the finest I’ve ever taught, and I enjoyed the way our team organized our teaching this year. Even our new administrator surpassed my expectations, so all the work boxes were checked.

So, what then?

What’s been holding me back? Zapping my energy and motivation?

I’m not sure, but I think that having my son go off to college was a little harder for me than I anticipated. Silly, really. He was in the next suburb. The one where I work. I saw him about once a week. And there were nice things about having an adult only home, like no dirty socks in the family room, and no dirty dishes all over the house. But in truth, I didn’t adjust very well.

If I’m totally honest, I think I was a little depressed, and since old habits are hard to break, I went back to my favorite method of self-medicating, food. So. Much. Food. And not the good kind, either, At least not usually.

And then, somehow, I managed to miss my bloodwork. And I missed it again. And again. Until the doctor’s office refused to authorize my medication and I had to go in. I did. And it wasn’t good.

My healthcare provider (who happens to be a PA, and a damn good one) called our appointment my “Come to Jesus” meeting, and he laid it on the line for me. Damn. So now, again, I have to start over. Have to. No choice. No excuses. Sad or lonely or whatever, too bad. I have to get this done.

I don’t want to weigh what I weigh.

I don’t want to become an insulin dependent diabetic.

I don’t want to have to buy two airline seats.

I don’t want to have low back pain from just walking around.

I don’t want to have to pay a premium for clothes that fit and look nice.

I don’t want to take so many pills a day.

I don’t want to huff and puff when I exert myself.

I don’t want to hold back my sweetheart or my son.

I don’t want to be embarrassed to be in family pictures.

I don’t want my mother to worry about me.

I don’t want to shorten my life.

I don’t want to be stared at.

I don’t want to feel less than.

I don’t want to feel incapable.

So yes, I HAVE to. So I will. Again.

It’s time. Time to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get going. I have some positive steps already in place and more planned. Writing more is one of them. Accountability, baby. So if you’ll indulge me (and so many of you have, over and over), here we go again.

I know I’m not alone. I know we all have challenges we face, and things that we ought to do, but find difficult. I hope you’ll join me in trying to refocus on what’s important, so we can all improve our quality of life, for ourselves, and for our loved ones.

 


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Over the Hump

So this tiniest month is turning out to be sort of a mountain for me. It’s nothing terribly serious, just a bunch of smallish things, not the least of which is a bout of allergies that is bringing me down. In fact the other day my principal took one look at me and sent me home.

allergies_cartoonoptNormally I would have fought this banishment, but I welcomed it that day. I fretted for about three minutes over what would become of my students for the rest of the day (he, and my fabulous teammates, handled it) then I headed home to bed. Ah sleep. Sweet sweet relief from the sneezing, runny nose, watery eyes, and wheezing. I wish I could sleep more.

Needless to say, I didn’t get all my steps that day. No dance party on my wrist that day (that’s what I call it when my Fitbit celebrates me reaching my daily step goal).  I fell woefully short and didn’t give it another thought, until the next day when it was too late. I felt like a failure. After all, my step goal isn’t that huge. I could have walked around my house in a sneezy runny nosed fog, right? I suppose, but the more I thought about it the easier it became to forgive myself for missing one day and move on.

I’m still not feeling great. Something in the air is kicking my butt, even with my arsenal of remedies, but I’m up and about again. I’m making my step goals and keeping positive, and looking ahead to March. Why March? Spring break!

How are you doing with your tiniest month challenge? Any obstacles? Hurdles? Road blocks? Keep going warriors! We’re on the downward side of the month, you can do it!


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Tiniest Month Challenge Update

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February is the tiniest month, so I figured I could handle a challenge that was only for this month. I decided to challenge myself to get my Fitbit step count every day in February, and so far so good.
Last Saturday I almost didn’t make it. I was battling a horrible allergy attack all day long, sneezing and wheezing and generally feeling miserable, but I did it.

I even bought myself an assortment of different colored bands for my Fitbit, because although I love magenta, it just doesn’t quite go with everything!

How are you doing with your challenges?