BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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19 Foods You Bet Your @$$ I’ll Be Eating This Holiday Season

thanksgiving-dinner

Do you get them too? The articles like “834 Steps to a Simpler Life,” and “93 Items to Keep in Your Sock Drawer?” Well the other day my sweetheart forwarded me one called “50 Foods to Avoid This Holiday Season,” or something equally preachy. His attached note said, “guess we’ll be having toast.” Oh HELL no. Not on my watch.

First, let me address some of the items that were actually on their list. These are items that WILL pass my lips this holiday season, in varying amounts and at various times. Does it make me a glutton? According to the folks who assembled that excuse for an article it might, but really, I don’t care.

  1. mashed potatoes – with butter
  2. gravy – on the mashed potatoes and turkey
  3. turkey (dark meat with skin) – I prefer white meat, but there will be some skin
  4. stuffing – yeah, like I’m going to skip that
  5. cranberry sauce – what ARE we supposed to have for Thanksgiving?
  6. pecan pie – my favorite
  7. pumpkin pie – yum
  8. apple pie – yep, I’m going to have that one too, so suck it, list writers
  9. chocolate orange – only the kind made by Terry’s
  10. candy cane – wouldn’t be Christmas without it
  11. Starbucks fancy drinks – yeah, I’m pretty much an addict
  12. Christmas cookies – really?
  13. eggnog – I can’t help it, it’s just good (in small doses)
  14. cinnamon rolls – what else would you have Christmas morning?
  15. pot roast – this isn’t really even a holiday thing, is it? But now I want it.

These additional items may or may not be on their list. I got a little lightheaded while I was reading it. They are, however, on my “Gonna have it” list.

16. champagne – hello? New Year’s?

17. potato latkes – Happy Chanukah!

18. lasagna – it’s a tradition

19. garlic bread – goes with the lasagna

So now you have a real list from a real person about a real holiday season. Well, except for maybe the pot roast, but a pot roast is good any time of year. Happy celebrating.

 

 


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Am I Really A Writer?

I like to think of myself as many things. Some of them are irrefutable. I am a mother. I am a teacher. These are simple facts. I have a son, therefore I am a mother. I go to work each day and spend the day teaching fourth grade students, therefore I am a teacher.

What else am I, though? And how do we verify these different identities?

Lately I’ve been a writer. How does one become a writer? By writing, some would say, but many others would say that one becomes a writer only when one’s writing has been published. Even that definition isn’t sufficient for many people. I’ve heard the argument that in order to be considered a writer one must be published and paid for one’s writing.

Well, I do write. And I have been published. I publish here, in my own little corner of the internet, regularly. Nobody pays me for it, though. I’ve also been published on other websites, like Scary Mommy and Education Week. Again, no money in that, but to me it’s still pretty cool.

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My design!

I have actually been paid to write. Not much, but I’ve submitted tips to a teaching publication that have been published and I’ve been compensated for them. I also designed a fish quilt that not only made it to the cover of Quiltmaker, a well-known quilting publication (it’s an inset photo, but hey, it’s still on the cover), and the design was turned into a kit complete with gorgeous watery indigo fabrics and magentas and purples for the fish. I was paid for that too, not much, but still they cut me a check. That one, however, wasn’t really a writing win, even though I was published.

I’ve been writing for NaNoWriMo, too. I finished a manuscript during NaNoWriMo in 2013, and I’ve been revising it with help from my critique group (another thing real writers do, I’m told). Now I’m into a new one story, about a young English teacher who needs to solve a mystery that threatens the security she’s found amongst the quilters she meets in a small town. See what I did there? Teaching, quilting, things I know and like.

I also teach writing. I teach it to my fourth graders, sure, but I’ve been teaching it in the summer too, for the past three years. Kids from seven to seventeen have come to these camps, and working with them as they explore the creative side of writing has been such a privilege for me. We’re not focused on grammar, structure, or spelling in these camps. We’re focused on imagination, empowerment, and risk-taking. We’re helping kids to develop their voices through their writing, whether in a poem about a leaf or an ode to their dog or a comic about super heroes and villains or an introspective look at their own strengths.

This type of writing is so powerful for kids that I’ve begun an after-school creative writing club at my school that is well attended. Both boys and girls come in to write and share their writing, blasting the stereotype we sometimes hear that “writing is for girls.” I’m sure Stephen King, James Patterson, Dav Pilkey, Neil Gaiman, Alberto Ríos, and many others would disagree.

So yes, I’m a writer, even though you won’t see anything I’ve done on the shelves at Barnes & Noble and if you search me on Amazon you’ll come up empty. I’ll keep at it, though, and maybe someday you will see my work there. Maybe someday soon.


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Feeling a Little Withdrawal

I admit it, this morning when I woke up I felt a little relieved that I didn’t HAVE to put up a new blog post. After all, it’s December, and NaBloPoMo has ended for another year. I could just rest on my laurels and not give it another thought.

Sounds good, right? Just kick back and let the internet Gods do their thing, sending over readers as they see fit. I don’t have a problem with that. After all, I write just to get stuff out of my brain, hopefully freeing up space so I can function in my day to day life with a decent amount of clarity.

But then I got the itch. The itch to login and blog. After 31 straight days of blogging (after all, I had to write about Charlie Brown, even if it was December) I couldn’t just let it go today. So here I am.

Nothing profound has happened today. No earth-shattering revelations, no ground breaking ideas, no momentous occasions have crossed my path. It’s just plain old me and my keyboard.

I hope you’re not disappointed. I hope you don’t mind my ramblings. I hope that you forgive me my indulgence. I’m at it again, whether I planned on it or not.