BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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What Do You Say At a Time Like This?

I’ve felt tongue-tied recently. At least online. I want to write, but I’m not exactly sure what to write about. Naturally there are the BIG things. Things like justice, equity, access to healthcare, governmental responsibility, constituent responsibility, the role of media, the role of the courts, the issue of personal responsibility, the issue of public health.

I’ve stayed away from the BIG topics because I feel like a blog isn’t the right place for me to share my thoughts about them. It’s too one-sided. There are my words, then your interpretation of what I mean, then maybe a comment from you and a reply from me and that’s about it. There’s so much room for ambiguity and misunderstanding. There’s so much margin for error. I prefer to discuss these topics in a more two-sided way, with give and take from both parties. We don’t learn from one another by making proclamations, then closing our eyes, ears, and hearts.

So if not the BIG things, then what? There are plenty of things rattling around in my brain, but they seem so trivial at a time like this. In light of the pandemic raging and the U.S. Capitol being overrun, does anyone really want to read about my seemingly never-ending quest for just the right hand cream? Maybe. After all, I’m not the only one washing my hands excessively this winter.

Or maybe you want to hear about my brownie fail? I’ve made this recipe dozens of times, if not more. These brownies are the best. They ALWAYS turn out. Except the other day they didn’t. The closest I can figure is that I either set the oven for the wrong temperature (maybe 325 instead of 375?) or I set the timer for the wrong amount of time (13 minutes instead of 23?). I was distracted. I had more important things on my mind (more about that in a minute), and I rushed. Sure, they looked a little strange when I pulled them out of the oven, but they weren’t jiggly or anything. And no, I didn’t test them, because why would I? After all, I’ve made them dozens of times, if not more, and I was distracted. They’re still pretty tasty, but they are definitely underdone. Like, way underdone. They hold together, but really, they’re not exactly cooked. Oops.

And why was I distracted? Well, because if was just about kickoff time, and my football team is in the playoffs. Yes, the Buffalo Bills are showing up and it’s glorious. This football season has been a welcome distraction from the BIG things. The team has done so well, and they’ve been so much fun to watch. It’s been a long time since the Bills have gone this far, and it’s a ton of fun. Thank you, Buffalo Bills.

Then there are a bunch of “other” things. Things like the stolen credit card number (that my credit card company caught, thank goodness), the glitchy connection to my online students, and the thousands of spam messages to this blog. There’s the job hunt my son has been enduring, and not seeing much of him due to this stupid pandemic. There’s the mountain of work I need to do in order to complete the requirements to be considered for National Board Certification (for teachers), as well as the professional observation I need to schedule. There’s the concern about going out into the community that has kept me from the dentist and the hair salon, making me feel somewhat like a cave-woman. There’s the worry that I feel for my friends and loved ones, as the list of people I know who’ve been diagnosed with this horrible disease grows. There’s the anxiety of watching the news, but the feeling that I have to keep informed. There’s the wrath that my colleagues and I face from some members of the public, in our community and beyond, because our schools are functioning in an online only capacity for the time being. There’s a lot. And here we are, right back to the BIG things. They’re impossible to ignore.

It seems to me that it’s the big things that frame our lives, but it’s the small things that make them worth living. I’ll set up my observation, and continue the quest for the perfect hand cream. I’ll keep working my way through my National Board materials. I’ll keep looking for work-arounds when our Google meet goes wonky. I won’t give up on that brownie recipe, and I won’t give up on my football team. In the middle of all this crazy, you can still hear me shouting, “Go Bills!”


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Well This is Embarrassing

I’m so sorry, September. I missed you completely. August, I didn’t do much better with you, and October, you’re nearly over. It’s certainly been a blogging dry spell, but I’m back. Back and better than ever? Maybe not, but at least I’m here. Showing up counts for something, right?

Halloween is in a few days, and our decorations are still in the “attic” space above the garage. They’ve been there for a while, since I’m pretty sure we didn’t get them out last year either. We were still reeling from my sweetheart’s hospitalization (or as he likes to call it, his visit to camp). This year we’re just busy, I guess, and less motivated than it takes to climb a ladder and hand down a big plastic tote or two.

I think we’re both waiting for the dust to settle, literally and figuratively. Literally because our master bathroom has been a work in progress since the end of September. Realistically, it’s not that long, but it feels longer since we haven’t been able to use our shower since months before that.

In order to accommodate the new bathtub, vanity, countertop, and sink we moved the bed out. I also had to completely empty my walk-in closet. It was a good excuse to weed out some things I don’t need. My son’s room was conveniently empty since he moved into his own apartment in August, so it became the temporary bedroom.

The tub has since been installed, as has the vanity, but the shower isn’t quite done, the medicine cabinets aren’t yet up, and the closet doors still need to be installed. Finally the towel bars go up, and voila, it’s done! I love my new tub. I love the new tile. I love the new vanity. I’m concerned that the paint I chose might be a little bright. A more grey hue would have been better. Live and learn. At least paint is easier to change than practically anything else (new towels would be easier), but it’s not impossible down the line if I really don’t like living with the current color. I love the color, but it might not be quite right for the space.

Then there’s work. Busy, busy, busy. Which is why I’m pursuing an advanced teaching credential, because if you want something done, give it to a busy person. It’s a lot of work, and I’ve barely begun, but I can do it, especially since I have wonderful teammates alongside me.

So that’s a quick update. I’m sure I’m missing tons, but hopefully you’ll hear more from me soon. For now, though, I have to get back to work.


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Six Years of Blogging

WordPress is kind enough to keep track of these blogging milestones for me, and I appreciate it.

Six years ago I started this little blog with the idea of losing weight and getting healthy. Sadly that particular goal has continued to elude me. I have, though, written a whole lot since I started this thing.

I’ve been to writing conferences and blogging conferences. I’ve participated in two incredible writing marathons. I’ve become an active participant in a writing group. I’ve had work published online and in print. I’ve even “won” NaNoWriMo.

I’m pretty sure most of that would not have happened if I hadn’t decided to play around with this blogging thing. I’m glad I did. The people who have visited the site and left their thoughts and experiences have been so supportive. The kindness of the internet and family has been surprisingly powerful. I’m grateful to have a platform for my musings, and I appreciate everyone takes the time to read my words.

Thank you for six years of allowing me to express myself in this way.