BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl

Category Archives: Family


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Split Personality

aheadsI’m at an impasse. I’m not sure what to write about. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say. I ALWAYS seem to have something to say. It’s just that I’m not sure in what direction I should go at the moment.

This blog began as a way for me to bitch and moan and then celebrate a little about how I was treating my body. I was going to get fit, dammit! And I was going to be accountable along the way by sharing my trials and tribulations with all of you out there in blog-land. Naturally, I would digress from time to time, but that was fine, especially since I planned to be completely anonymous.

Well, it didn’t take long for me to start writing about my family of origin, and my current family situation. After all, this is my life, so welcome to it. Again, I was anonymous, so whatever raw emotions I was feeling I spilled out onto the screen and didn’t think twice about hitting the publish button. I am what I am, take it or leave it. Something like that.

Then I started to sneak in some of my professional life. I’m a teacher. Teaching is an all consuming profession. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about SOME aspect of my profession. Lesson plans are swirling around in my brain, the endless to-do list nags at me at the most inopportune times, and I’m constantly thinking about how I can be more effective. It’s impossible to be me without also being an educator, so again, into the blog it went.

One of my education pieces got picked up by Scary Mommy, and that was a lot of fun. Thousands of readers took in my words, and honestly that was a rush. The piece was also translated into Greek and posted on no fewer than 8 Greek language websites. That event also marked the end of my anonymity.

Now in addition to an educator, I’m a writer. As time has gone on, I’ve come to realize that writing is something that I’m meant to do. I’ve been writing, reading about writing, learning about writing, and writing about writing. And yes, I put that into the blog too.

So now what I have is a big ‘ole mess. The blog has turned into a giant mish-mosh of stuff, from fun fitness for fat chicks to fabulous books for fourth graders to my childhood memories of gingerbread to my feelings about frito-pie and standardized testing. I’m afraid that as I’ve spread out my topics, I’ve lost some momentum. I feel like I’ve lost my edge by wandering around discussing this topic and that. I feel like I need to narrow my focus and find my niche, but I’m not sure I exactly WANT to do that. I like writing about a little of this and a little of that. And I don’t think I have the energy to run several blogs at once.

Even if I did, what would I call them?

BulgingButtons – or how two years later I’m still fat and struggle with making good lifestyle choices

All the Pretty Words – The Journey to Becoming the Writer I Believe is Hiding Inside Me

Give Kids a Chance – My Take on How our Education System Ought to Help Kids

Past, Present, Future – My life as it was, is, and hopefully will be

I know bloggers who have revamped their blogs, or started additional blogs to address new topics. What do you think? Shall I soldier on? Make some changes? Rein in some of my topics? Avoid others all together? I’d love some feedback, and if you’ve been with me for some time, thank you, your support means a lot.

 

 


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More About Money

xdqntr_dz9cAs you may already know, I’m a Powerball success story. I’m also the mother of a high school student with not only the aspirations, but the ability, to attend a “good” college. Unfortunately my lottery winnings are hardly substantial enough to foot the bill for his upcoming college education, so I’m researching alternate sources of funding.

I’ve begun by focusing on one particular book. I came upon it quite accidentally, there in the row of SAT prep books, smaller than the giant workbooks, but still a commanding presence on the shelf. It’s a guide to college scholarships. It has a fancy title, and a whole lot of tips and advice. I’ve been working my way through this book, and taking the author’s information to heart. After all, he went to Harvard practically for free, he must know something.

I’ve also recently finished reading Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. The good news is, I’m well on my way with his baby steps. He explains them in a nutshell here. After reading this book, I’m more determined than ever to seek out sources of college funding other than loans. The two books together, along with the power of the internet, have led me down a path where I can guide my son to apply for certain scholarship opportunities. I do the “heavy lifting” of tracking down scholarships for which he qualifies, then I create a word document with everything he needs to know about the scholarship. For example, many of them require essays. stack-of-sat-booksI copy in the prompt, along with the specific directions and deadlines, then highlight the due date and word counts. My son takes it from there. At least in theory. So far he hasn’t written any, but in fairness this system just started, and he has school and tennis team and the SAT to think about too.

I’m hopeful that with a structured approach, and a year and a half in which to do it, he can attain a fair number of scholarships, as well as secure a spot at a fine college or university with a program of study that he finds engaging. At the moment he wants to study chemical engineering. He chose this field when he was ten, and he’s researched what it takes to become one. I think he’d be good at it. I’m not sure where this particular interest developed, but I’m glad it did. “My son the engineer,” has a nice ring to it, and it’s a field where he can be intellectually challenged and make a positive impact, not to mention make a decent living.

I don’t want to get ahead of myself, though. My son the high school student still has a way to go, and it’s up to me to help him get there. Although facing this next chapter of his life is bittersweet for me, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.


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I Won the Powerball!

Until last week I had never purchased a lottery ticket in my life.

Unless you count those scratch-off tickets. I’ve bought a few of those here and there.

Oh, and years ago I remember filling in a bunch of number bubbles, much like a standardized test. I guess that must have been a lottery ticket too, huh? So maybe I have bought a few lottery tickets over the years. powerball

Until last week I had never won the lottery.

Nope, not true either. There was a scratch-off ticket in my Christmas stocking a while back that yielded a $14 prize.

In spite of all that, the fact remains, I won the Powerball!

Not the whole thing, mind you. You might have seen me on tv if I had. No, I just won a small (very very small) part of it. Still, the thing is, I won! I paid $2 for my ticket and I’m receiving more than that back. That, to me, is winning.

Now I know that winning the lottery isn’t a good retirement plan. It’s not the way to build your future. The odds are stacked so high against you that winning anything is a thrill. But here’s the thing, it’s just like the commercials say, you can’t win if you don’t play.

Even with my winning record, I’m not planning on becoming a lottery regular, but when there’s a big jackpot I just might throw my $2 into the ring. To me it all boils down to risk vs. reward. The risk-which can also be though of as cost (in this case $2) is small, and the reward (possibly millions of dollars) is great. Now factor in the odds (astronomical) and decide whether it’s worth it. Every once in a while, to me, it is.

So how does this apply to everyday life?

Well, let’s take the example of the college scholarship game. There are gazillions of them available (so it seems) but they each have their own criteria and rules. For each one that a student applies to, he has to weigh the cost (what is this requiring me to do? how much time will it take? will it take away from my studies or other responsibilities?) with the benefit (is this scholarship worth $500, $5,000, $50,000?) and the odds (is it open to just anyone? is it well publicized? how many winners are awarded?).  In a perfect world a student would apply for all of them and receive several, but in the real world students have busy schedules.

Applying for scholarships can’t take away from writing history papers and completing chemistry projects and studying for calculus exams, not to mention preparing for the SAT and learning to drive and going to tennis practice. A balance needs to be struck. Still, to not try for any of them seems foolish.

The same goes for the world of writing. There are writing contests to enter and the world of publishing is like one giant lottery. What shall I write? For which audience? To whom shall I pitch? Just like with the Powerball, though, if you don’t play you can’t win. Nobody will read anything that is safely stored on my computer or tucked away on a memory stick. If I want to win (and winning is subjective, does it mean a guest blog post on a favorite blog? an article published in an e-zine? a deal with a publishing house? a best seller?) I have to go for it. I have to not only write, but submit!

Like so many other things in life, the ideas are simple, but the follow through is difficult.

If I want my son to complete and submit quality scholarship applications, the least I can do is put my money where my mouth is and complete and submit quality pieces of writing. If he can do it, so can I. Maybe we’ll both end up big winners.