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Not bad for a fat girl


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A Fat Person’s Guide to Thanksgiving

thanksgiving-dinnerIt’s coming up soon, the ultimate nod to American gluttony, Thanksgiving.

This is the day that we fat people look forward to all year. This is our big moment. This is our time to shine. And shine, we do.

While the skinny people are feeling miserable and bloated, we’re cruising past the buffet for another spoonful of stuffing, and while we’re there we might get some more mashed potatoes and gravy too. When they suggest a walk around the block after dinner we smile and say, “no thanks,” then send them on their way. We don’t need to make room for pie, we’ve been in training for this event all year.

In fact, Thanksgiving is the official kick-off to the feasting season. Halloween was the unofficial kick-off, with just candy on the menu. Thanksgiving, however, is the real deal, from cheese balls to three kinds of pie. You think I’m kidding? We’re having apple, pumpkin, and pecan this year at our house, and there are just three of us.

This is the season for cookie walks and pot-lucks and cocktail parties and gifts of food. Work parties and neighborhood parties and family parties and friend parties pop up nearly every weekend, each of them with their own carefully selected menu designed to tempt your taste buds.

This is not the season to decide to lose weight. It is not the season to dust off your old Weight Watchers materials and go back to meetings. This is not the season to decide that all of a sudden resisting all your favorite foods will magically happen. But that’s what I did.

Ok, I admit it, maybe it wasn’t the smartest move. Here’s the thing, though, if I hold myself accountable maybe I’ll gain less weight than I would have otherwise. And if I get struck by lightning or amazingly inspired, it’s not outside the realm of possibility that I could actually lose a pound or two. How cool would that be?

So here’s my fat person’s guide to Thanksgiving:

1. Enjoy your family and friends

2. Eat what you like

3. Talk and laugh more than you eat

4. Take a break from the food to move (go on the walk with the skinny relatives!)

5. Enjoy it for what it is, possibly the best food day of the year

6. Move on when it’s over

This is my advice to myself, and to anyone else who cares to join me. Whatever approach you take, I hope you enjoy it and don’t beat yourself up. After all, Thanksgiving is about gratitude, not guilt.

 


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The Great Cranberry Sauce Debate

With Thanksgiving fast approaching here in the United States, the topic of the holiday meal can no longer be ignored. Oh sure, the turkey has been ordered from the butcher, and my sweetheart has decided that this year he would like to smoke it, so that decision has been made, but we aren’t done yet.

Thanksgiving dinner is probably my favorite meal, closely followed by a nice lobster dinner. When I found out the Pilgrims had lobster at their Thanksgiving I was almost jealous of them for a minute, then I remembered the other details of their story and got over it pretty quickly. Besides, they had to prepare the whole feast without the help of even a single reliable oven, let alone a Kitchenaid stand mixer.

I hosted Thanksgiving for many years when I was married, and I enjoyed it very much. I think our largest group of friends and family was 18 one year, and it was wonderful. Another year with a fairly large group we set up tables on the patio and ate outdoors. It was a beautiful day and a wonderful way to celebrate the holiday. By contrast, my Thanksgivings have boiled down to a small celebration including me, my sweetheart, and this year, my son. Still, we need all the food.

Our menu isn’t as extensive as many other people’s but here goes:

turkey- this year smoked (we’ve also done roasted and fried)

stuffing- the jury is out on which recipe (Mom used to bring Oma’s recipe, but she’s out of town)

brussels sprouts- thank you internet for your wonderful recipe with Andouille sausage

mashed potatoes- this is where the Kitchenaid comes in

gravy- you can never have too much

cranberry quick bread- from a box, but so yummy

pies- thank you Village Inn

and cranberry sauce.

Ah yes, the cranberry sauce. It’s not my favorite part of the meal, by any means, but it’s necessary. The sweet, tart taste balances the other flavors perfectly, and the color on the plate is beautiful. A little cranberry sauce goes a long way, in my opinion, like wasabi. But what kind?

When I was a kid I hated cranberry sauce so I avoided it at all costs. Then, as I got older, I began to understand its importance. This was around the same time my mother discovered that it’s really easy to make it following the simple directions on the bag of cranberries. I was hooked. I used that recipe for years, and everyone always liked the cranberries.

Then I met my sweetheart. He is a wonderful man who asks very little. When he does have some sort of request or preference I’m only too happy to accommodate him, usually with a smile. But then there’s this. His cranberry sauce preference. Yes, he’s one of the people in this country who keep Ocean Spray busy making the gelatinous version of cranberries that keep the shape of the can when you open it. Goopy cranberry rounds are a better description of this product. I don’t get it. Why not have delicious tangy yet sweet fresh cranberries lovingly made in our very own kitchen? Why open a can and wait for it to make a noise akin to a teenager’s bodily function as it slowly descends from its aluminum casing only to plop out onto a plate? Where is the beauty in that?

I’ve given in to this strange request in the past, and I probably will again, after all, it’s important to him to include this tradition from his upbringing. This year, however, I will make fresh cranberries too. I know it’s too many cranberries for three people. It’s too many for fifteen. That’s not the point. The point is that it’s Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving is about gratitude and appreciating the ones you love, while also respecting tradition. I think two types of cranberries will be our family’s new tradition.

 

If you enjoyed this article you may like these too:

Thanksgivukkah

Thanksgiving Memories

 

 


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Maybe Tomorrow

funny-tomorrow-best-time-to-do-everythingMaybe tomorrow I’ll go to the grocery store and buy some fresh fruits and vegetables to eat.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll pick up my prescription and remember to take my medicine in the morning.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll go for a walk around the park with the dog.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll catch up on some of my writing for NaNoWriMo.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll give my mother a call, just to say hello and catch up.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll grade the reading tests that my students took today.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll start on next week’s lessons.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll plan a menu for the week full of delicious and healthful meals.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll even cook one of those meals for my family.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll get a few steps closer to my goals. Or maybe just one step.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll remember to tell the people I love that I love them.

Maybe tomorrow will be a new start.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll take steps to change my life for the better.