BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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Throwback Thursday – Cars, Expanded Edition

Not my actual car, but close.

Not my actual car, but close.

Yes, I’ve talked cars before, but this post goes into a little more depth about some of the vehicles in my life. My grandmother drove a sensible blue four-door Ford sedan, complete with a big pillow to elevate her on its bench seat. My other grandmother drove a kick-ass Pontiac GT with sweet bucket seats and a hideous olive green coat of paint. They both traded their cars in for more sensible brown cars in the later year. Too bad.

My father loved Fords, until the T-Bird. He had Fords for years, up until he bought a 1973 Thunderbird for my mother, complete with a Landau roof. It was the palest green color imaginable, and it was a lemon. It seemed like that car was constantly in the shop, and not just because our dog chewed up one of the armrests when my mother ran an errand with him one day. That car was just trouble, I could tell the first time my mother closed the door on my leg. Besides, who gets a two-door when they have kids?

After my father’s love affair with Ford subsided, he became an Oldsmobile man. At one time he owned three Toronados, blue, maroon, and my favorite, dark gray. I loved that car. My dad even put vanity plates on it with my name on them.

Several Oldsmobiles later, my father moved up to Cadillac. I’m not sure if that was his idea or my mother’s, but not long after he splurged and bought a Mercedes. It was shocking. My father had ranted and railed against Mercedes for years, however, he presented one to my mother for her birthday.

Personally, I’m a Toyota girl. After three hand-me-down Oldsmobiles (including my beloved dark gray Toronado), I finally got a car that was new just for me, a Toyota Camry.

Again, not my actual car, but close enough.

Again, not my actual car, but close enough.

That was a great car. We put 206,000 miles on that car over the course of 13 years. That car visited the Atlantic and the Pacific, more than once. In its final days it could no longer provide air conditioning, a must in my desert Southwest home. I was sad to see that car go, however, its final gift was $6,000 on trade-in. That car paid for itself.

I’m on my second Camry now, and at 135,000ish miles it’s going strong. Sure, it’s from the middle of the last decade, but it’s paid for and I love it. This one hasn’t been to the Atlantic, but it’s seen the Pacific several times, and it knows the way to Vegas too. I have no plans to replace it anytime soon. True, I like some of the new features that cars have now, but this car is terrific, and until it’s time to put it out to pasture, I’ll be very content with it. It gets me and family where we need to go comfortably and safely, what more could I really need?

 


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Throwback Thursday- The Orthodontist

imagesThis evening my son had soup for dinner. It was about all he could manage, after a trip to the orthodontist this morning. Usually he’s fine after his visits, but today was a different story. He’s nearing the end of his braces-wearing days, and his orthodontist did something to speed him across the finish line.

I feel badly for him. I know how much orthodontia can hurt. I endured years of it myself. Too many years, in fact.  Here are some fun facts about my personal experience with the world of orthodontics.

1. The nightmare began with some sort of wire along the roof of my mouth when I was just five. I’m pretty sure that nowadays that sort of thing would be classified as child abuse.

2. My orthodontist was also my mother’s orthodontist, which means he was about a hundred and twenty years old by the time I got to him.

3. The orthodontist occupied the top floor of the same medical building where my dad had his dermatology practice. Once in a while we would stop in and see him, but not often.

4. There was a coffee shop on the ground floor of the building. The cook’s name was Jasper, and he made excellent grilled cheese sandwiches and chocolate milkshakes.

5. Every year at Halloween the orthodontist displayed the same poster of a ton of Halloween candy with a revolting looking witch with rotten teeth.

6. The orthodontist collected old mechanical banks, and a few times he showed me some of them in action.

7. My baby teeth never fell out. Whenever he discovered one that was even slightly wiggly, he would yank it out with a tool that looked like it belonged to an auto mechanic. Anesthesia? I wish.

8. Remember Anthony Michael Hall’s headgear in Sixteen Candles? Yeah, I had one of those.

9. There was a display case in each exam room with row upon row of plaster casts of various snaggle-toothed mouths. There must have been decades worth of hapless patients represented in those cases.

10. The nightmare finally ended when I was fourteen. Nine. Years. Later. I’m fairly certain there’s something in the Geneva Convention about that.

I’m glad the field of orthodontics has evolved. For the most part, my son’s experience has been fairly painless, and his orthodontist has never yanked any of his teeth out with pliers. Still, I’m looking forward to the end. Even after all these years, I still get a little nervous every time I walk through the orthodontist’s door.


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Throwback Thursday – The Candy Store

There used to be a store in my neighborhood where a kid could ride his or her bike and stock up on candy for very little money. It was located about two blocks from my home, and about a block and a half from the high school. It was owned by one of my classmates’ parents, and the store shared their family name. In fact the family lived behind the store in the same building. That place was important in our neighborhood, from childhood right through graduation. A lot of kids spent their allowance and their lunch periods in that store. Here are some of things I remember buying there as a kid:

1. Wax bottles– Who knows what exactly those tiny bottles held, but they were so darn appealing.

2. Candy dots– Yes, you always ended up with paper in your mouth, but somehow it seemed worthwhile anyway.

3. Wax lips– No need for Botox with these around.005c124e59a58256

4. Fire balls– From spicy to sweet the pain was delicious.

5. Candy necklaces and ring pops – High fashion for the sugar loving set.

6. Bazooka Bubblegum– It was usually hard as a rock, but the comics were hilarious.

7. Cracker Jacks– Although I didn’t like peanuts, I loved the little prizes.

8. Fresca– It came in a tall glass bottle, and nothing was better on a hot summer day (never mind the saccharin).

9. Bottle caps– These little candies were shaped like soda bottles and were fun to eat.

10. Comic books– I usually went for the candy, but once in a while I picked up Archie or Richie Rich.

Thanks Mr. and Mrs. B, for running a store that a generation of kids holds in their hearts.