NaBloPoMo | BulgingButtons

November 6, 2015
by BulgingButtons 2 Comments

Cold Snap

Buffalo, New York is famous for the Blizzard of ’77, a huge January storm that practically shut down the city for several days. I remember how eerie it was to accompany my father to visit his hospital patients, driving through deserted streets as a result of the driving ban. Physicians visiting patients were exempt.

Although I was only ten years old, I was starting to develop a case of cabin fever, so I begged to go with him. Before we pulled out of the driveway, my father loaded the car with blankets and a box of Bit-o-Honey candy bars, just in case. It was by no means the first time that city was hit with nasty winter weather, though.

In the winter of 1975, a freak ice storm wrecked havoc on our community, damaging power lines and cutting off heat to thousands of homes. On our street, the odd numbered houses lost power while the even numbers stayed connected. It was not a good week to live at number 199.

Not my street, but you get the idea.

The first night was the worst. Everything outside was in a deep freeze, and the temperature in our Depression-era house kept plunging. All winter long, our golden retriever Pucci slept on my bed protecting me from the chill of the uninsulated outside wall. With the power out, however, even Pucci’s heat couldn’t keep me warm. Not only did I have my Oma’s featherbed from Germany on top of my Hudson Bay blanket, I was wearing long underwear and a ski jacket, along with down mittens and a green and gold striped woolen cap to bed. Oh, and a nightgown and socks, three pairs to be exact. I looked something like a cross between a deranged Pippi Longstocking and a nine-year-old bag lady lost in the Arctic.

Somehow we got through the night, but the situation in the morning wasn’t much better. Cereal, milk, and fruit were fine for breakfast, but there was no power for cooking, and driving anywhere was out of the question.

My father made a fire in the living room, but it really didn’t give off that much heat, unless you were sitting practically on the hearth. I soon grew restless, and I imagine I drove my mother nuts. She made a quick call, then threw some things in a bag for me and took my mittened hand as we slipped and slid across the street and down the block to my classmate’s warm house. She left me there for three days, until our power was restored.

I guess my older brother handled the cold better, because he got to stay home with my parents, but at least I was warm. Still, I was relieved to finally go home and sleep in my own bed, minus my ridiculous ski attire

November 5, 2015
by BulgingButtons 5 Comments

The Guaranteed Cure for Hiccups

Many years ago I learned the cure for hiccups. I feel that it’s my civic responsibility to share it with you, dear readers, in an attempt to improve the quality of your lives.

Before I do, though, I want to stress to you the importance of performing this cure correctly. You see, if you mess it up you’ll end up with a spill on the floor, and the possibility of water up your nose. You’re bound to end up sputtering, and the hiccups will most likely get worse. Consider yourself warned.

At the first sign of hiccups, slow down your breathing. Sometimes (granted not often) you can nip them in the bud with this calming technique.

If not, then it’s time for a glass of water and the ultimate hiccup cure.

I know what you’re thinking, “there’s nothing revolutionary about this… drink water…but it doesn’t work.”

Well it does if you do it my way.

You need a fairly large glass of water (maybe ten to twelve ounces) with no ice. Now your job is to drink the water from the far side of the glass.

What? Is that possible?

Why yes, it is. Of course in order to be successful, you need to bend over and lean way down in order for the glass to tip enough for the water to come out of the glass and into your mouth. Your head will actually be upside down at this point.

Drink as much of the water as you can without stopping (or spilling).

Slowly stand back up, and voila! The hiccups should be gone.

This technique takes a little practice, so you might want to try it before you actually have a case of hiccups, that way you’ll be prepared. And maybe try it over a towel, in case you spill.

I promise, it works. It looks weird, and the possibility exists that a bartender might think you should be cut off, but if you have the hiccups and want them gone, do it. Just tell them I said so.

November 2, 2015
by BulgingButtons 7 Comments

A Peanut Free Halloween?

Did you all see the teal pumpkins this year? I saw quite a few on my Facebook feed, but none in my neighborhood. Maybe the word got out too late, after all, I only heard about it on the news the day before Halloween.

For those that missed it, there has been a move toward handing out treats that children with allergies and other food issues can enjoy, such as stickers, pencils, and small toys. Homes that have such treats display a teal pumpkin. I think this is a lovely idea, and provides a nice way for children who have various food issues to participate fully.

That being said, I still take issue with the anonymous mom who plastered her neighborhood with flyers pressuring her neighbors to give out only peanut-free treats, and provided a list of alternatives, including carrots and raisins. No kid wants carrots or raisins for Halloween, allergies or not. Kids want candy, and Halloween is the one night a year when they have the ability to go around scavenging for it. Presumably they put at least some effort into a costume, and they put in the effort to go door to door. Their reward is the candy, or other treat.

Yes, I know that some kids have allergies, sometimes even severe enough to be life-threatening. Those kids can’t eat certain candies, that’s a given. So parents, here’s where you come in. Do what works for your child, within the context of the holiday. Does it mean that your child has to stay home? No! It may mean that you have to be extremely careful about sorting candy, or that you don’t accept any candies that you know are a problem for your child. Maybe it means that you trade out the part of the stash that’s no good for your child. You can make this work, without trying to shame everyone else into passing out carrots and raisins.

Last night we had that exact scenario. A boy of about ten came clomping up the driveway, very awkwardly, in his scuba fins. His costume was entirely homemade, and certainly took a great deal of time and effort. His sister and mother were right there with him, and he requested any candy that we might have with no nuts. We had something for him, and he was delighted. He was friendly, confident, and very carefully watched by his equally friendly mother. I’m sure that if we had no candy for him, there wouldn’t have been pouting or tears. This child knows he has an allergy, and he has to live with it. His mother is teaching him how.

I think that working with our kids to understand that sometimes things don’t work out exactly in their favor is doing them more of a service than trying to bully everyone around you into treating your child differently. I’m afraid that type of behavior can easily breed a victim mentality. Yes, people have different needs, but in the case of Halloween, those needs can be easily accommodated within the family.

The teal pumpkins are fine. They’re thoughtful and those families that provide something different should be thanked. I might even do it next year, but this year we gave out plain old candy, and lots of it. Halloween is about the fun, not about making a political statement. Yes, let your kids trick-or-treat, and then address the loot situation at home. I think flexible parents raise flexible kids who can learn to accept that fact that eating certain foods is a bad idea for them. In spite of it all, Halloween can still be a fun night for kids, even those with allergies.