BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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A Fat Person’s Guide to Thanksgiving

thanksgiving-dinnerIt’s coming up soon, the ultimate nod to American gluttony, Thanksgiving.

This is the day that we fat people look forward to all year. This is our big moment. This is our time to shine. And shine, we do.

While the skinny people are feeling miserable and bloated, we’re cruising past the buffet for another spoonful of stuffing, and while we’re there we might get some more mashed potatoes and gravy too. When they suggest a walk around the block after dinner we smile and say, “no thanks,” then send them on their way. We don’t need to make room for pie, we’ve been in training for this event all year.

In fact, Thanksgiving is the official kick-off to the feasting season. Halloween was the unofficial kick-off, with just candy on the menu. Thanksgiving, however, is the real deal, from cheese balls to three kinds of pie. You think I’m kidding? We’re having apple, pumpkin, and pecan this year at our house, and there are just three of us.

This is the season for cookie walks and pot-lucks and cocktail parties and gifts of food. Work parties and neighborhood parties and family parties and friend parties pop up nearly every weekend, each of them with their own carefully selected menu designed to tempt your taste buds.

This is not the season to decide to lose weight. It is not the season to dust off your old Weight Watchers materials and go back to meetings. This is not the season to decide that all of a sudden resisting all your favorite foods will magically happen. But that’s what I did.

Ok, I admit it, maybe it wasn’t the smartest move. Here’s the thing, though, if I hold myself accountable maybe I’ll gain less weight than I would have otherwise. And if I get struck by lightning or amazingly inspired, it’s not outside the realm of possibility that I could actually lose a pound or two. How cool would that be?

So here’s my fat person’s guide to Thanksgiving:

1. Enjoy your family and friends

2. Eat what you like

3. Talk and laugh more than you eat

4. Take a break from the food to move (go on the walk with the skinny relatives!)

5. Enjoy it for what it is, possibly the best food day of the year

6. Move on when it’s over

This is my advice to myself, and to anyone else who cares to join me. Whatever approach you take, I hope you enjoy it and don’t beat yourself up. After all, Thanksgiving is about gratitude, not guilt.

 


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Ode to a Two Day Work Week

keep-calm-its-a-short-week-4Ode to a Two Day Work Week

Oh Monday, you Vixen, you’re back again

Arriving early and cold and dark

But today your menace is tempered

Today your power is tamed

Today you hold little more sway than my old friend Thursday

For after today, the work week is nearly done

After today there is just one day left

For this week, Tuesday, old work horse Tuesday, gets to play Friday

Tuesday puts on Friday’s robe and sprinkles her glitter

This week we will speak highly of Tuesday

She will release us from the week of work

Hardly a week at all

Just a pair of days

A Monday without sting

And a Tuesday full of sparkle


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Damn You, Holiday Oreo Cookies

teachers%2520gifts%2520211Last week I went back to Weight Watchers, for the who-knows-how-many-ith time. All week I’ve done fairly well with my food choices, with just a bit of slipping up here and there. The truth is, old habits are very hard to break. Still, I was feeling pretty good about my choices until just a few minutes ago.

That’s when they got me. Those damn, damn Oreos.

I should have thrown them out when I went back to Weight Watchers, but I figured someone else would eat them. Nobody did. They sat untouched for nearly a week, until tonight.

Tonight’s dinner was uninspired. I stir-fried a bag of vegetables and added in some white meat chicken. It was fabulously simple, and it took almost no time to do (the chicken was already cooked). The sauce that came with the vegetables was good, and the meal looked and smelled delicious. The flavor, however, just wasn’t quite there. Maybe it was the chicken, I don’t know. It just didn’t quite taste as good as it seemed like it should have. Still, I ate my veggies and felt pretty good about my meal. For about five minutes.

Then I went looking for something else, something to finish off the meal. I opened the pantry, and there they were. I reasoned that my dinner was ultra-healthful so why not have some? Well, because I’m no good at “some.” Several cookies later, they were gone. So is any progress toward weight loss that I may have made this week. That’s not good, since Thanksgiving is coming up quickly. Oh well, Oreos happen. I have to just move on, and keep those damn, damn Oreos out of my house.