BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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When Worlds Collide – Which Face Do I Show?

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I write. Sometimes it comes easily to me and other times I struggle.

I  blog. I don’t take it too seriously, and I allow myself to be totally real on the blog.

I teach. I take it very seriously and sometimes I get frustrated with the current state of education.

I parent. Sometimes it comes easily, and other times I struggle. Sometimes I take it seriously and other times I take it easy.

This week I have the privilege of attending a national writing conference for educators, and the bonus is that I’m attending it on a full scholarship. I feel honored to have been chosen for this award, and I’m excited to mingle with and learn from my fellow writers and educators. The question is, which face do I show today?

Am I the elementary school teacher who happens to teach summer writing workshops at the University? Am I the educator/writer who has been involved with the National Writing Project in various capacities for the past five years? Am I the world-famous blogger and author of BulgingButtons? Am I the aspiring Young Adult novelist who is working on revising her manuscript? Am I the author of articles that have been published both online and in print? Am I the brains behind Soaring Pig Press? Yes. I am. But how do I share any of that with people I meet? Especially when at heart I’m an introvert?

Conferences can be difficult for me. I love them because I always learn a lot, but I’m not naturally outgoing, so the in-between times can be a little awkward for me. I feel like I have an obligation both to myself and to the good people who provided my scholarship to not only take away from the conference, but to contribute to it as well. Each voice that joins the conversation potentially adds to the experience. Each point of view, each anecdote, each shred of advice or encouragement helps to build a valuable and comprehensive learning environment. I feel that I have to be part of that building process. I have to bring something to the table, so to speak.

No, I’m not expected to give a presentation, but I do expect to push myself out of my comfort zone and make some connections at this conference. I will introduce myself as a writer, educator, and blogger, and I will listen to others with an open mind and an open heart. I will learn and I will share what I’ve learned. I will happily accept encouragement, and I will freely share it with others. I feel sure that this conference will be a positive learning experience, and by walking in with that knowledge, it can’t help but be true, no matter which face I happen to be showing.


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More About Money

xdqntr_dz9cAs you may already know, I’m a Powerball success story. I’m also the mother of a high school student with not only the aspirations, but the ability, to attend a “good” college. Unfortunately my lottery winnings are hardly substantial enough to foot the bill for his upcoming college education, so I’m researching alternate sources of funding.

I’ve begun by focusing on one particular book. I came upon it quite accidentally, there in the row of SAT prep books, smaller than the giant workbooks, but still a commanding presence on the shelf. It’s a guide to college scholarships. It has a fancy title, and a whole lot of tips and advice. I’ve been working my way through this book, and taking the author’s information to heart. After all, he went to Harvard practically for free, he must know something.

I’ve also recently finished reading Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. The good news is, I’m well on my way with his baby steps. He explains them in a nutshell here. After reading this book, I’m more determined than ever to seek out sources of college funding other than loans. The two books together, along with the power of the internet, have led me down a path where I can guide my son to apply for certain scholarship opportunities. I do the “heavy lifting” of tracking down scholarships for which he qualifies, then I create a word document with everything he needs to know about the scholarship. For example, many of them require essays. stack-of-sat-booksI copy in the prompt, along with the specific directions and deadlines, then highlight the due date and word counts. My son takes it from there. At least in theory. So far he hasn’t written any, but in fairness this system just started, and he has school and tennis team and the SAT to think about too.

I’m hopeful that with a structured approach, and a year and a half in which to do it, he can attain a fair number of scholarships, as well as secure a spot at a fine college or university with a program of study that he finds engaging. At the moment he wants to study chemical engineering. He chose this field when he was ten, and he’s researched what it takes to become one. I think he’d be good at it. I’m not sure where this particular interest developed, but I’m glad it did. “My son the engineer,” has a nice ring to it, and it’s a field where he can be intellectually challenged and make a positive impact, not to mention make a decent living.

I don’t want to get ahead of myself, though. My son the high school student still has a way to go, and it’s up to me to help him get there. Although facing this next chapter of his life is bittersweet for me, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.


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I Won the Powerball!

Until last week I had never purchased a lottery ticket in my life.

Unless you count those scratch-off tickets. I’ve bought a few of those here and there.

Oh, and years ago I remember filling in a bunch of number bubbles, much like a standardized test. I guess that must have been a lottery ticket too, huh? So maybe I have bought a few lottery tickets over the years. powerball

Until last week I had never won the lottery.

Nope, not true either. There was a scratch-off ticket in my Christmas stocking a while back that yielded a $14 prize.

In spite of all that, the fact remains, I won the Powerball!

Not the whole thing, mind you. You might have seen me on tv if I had. No, I just won a small (very very small) part of it. Still, the thing is, I won! I paid $2 for my ticket and I’m receiving more than that back. That, to me, is winning.

Now I know that winning the lottery isn’t a good retirement plan. It’s not the way to build your future. The odds are stacked so high against you that winning anything is a thrill. But here’s the thing, it’s just like the commercials say, you can’t win if you don’t play.

Even with my winning record, I’m not planning on becoming a lottery regular, but when there’s a big jackpot I just might throw my $2 into the ring. To me it all boils down to risk vs. reward. The risk-which can also be though of as cost (in this case $2) is small, and the reward (possibly millions of dollars) is great. Now factor in the odds (astronomical) and decide whether it’s worth it. Every once in a while, to me, it is.

So how does this apply to everyday life?

Well, let’s take the example of the college scholarship game. There are gazillions of them available (so it seems) but they each have their own criteria and rules. For each one that a student applies to, he has to weigh the cost (what is this requiring me to do? how much time will it take? will it take away from my studies or other responsibilities?) with the benefit (is this scholarship worth $500, $5,000, $50,000?) and the odds (is it open to just anyone? is it well publicized? how many winners are awarded?).  In a perfect world a student would apply for all of them and receive several, but in the real world students have busy schedules.

Applying for scholarships can’t take away from writing history papers and completing chemistry projects and studying for calculus exams, not to mention preparing for the SAT and learning to drive and going to tennis practice. A balance needs to be struck. Still, to not try for any of them seems foolish.

The same goes for the world of writing. There are writing contests to enter and the world of publishing is like one giant lottery. What shall I write? For which audience? To whom shall I pitch? Just like with the Powerball, though, if you don’t play you can’t win. Nobody will read anything that is safely stored on my computer or tucked away on a memory stick. If I want to win (and winning is subjective, does it mean a guest blog post on a favorite blog? an article published in an e-zine? a deal with a publishing house? a best seller?) I have to go for it. I have to not only write, but submit!

Like so many other things in life, the ideas are simple, but the follow through is difficult.

If I want my son to complete and submit quality scholarship applications, the least I can do is put my money where my mouth is and complete and submit quality pieces of writing. If he can do it, so can I. Maybe we’ll both end up big winners.