September 11, 2013
by BulgingButtons 3 Comments

Talking So Much I’m Losing My Voice

So here’s my latest conundrum: I’ve been writing these daily passion prompt pieces, and publishing something new every day. So, you may ask, why is that a conundrum? ( I just love the word conundrum, how exciting to get to write it three times in three sentences!) Well, here’s the issue. As I respond to these questions, I focus on what the prompt is asking me. This is fine. It’s even a good thing. After all, that’s the whole point of having prompts. But as I focus on these prompts, they tend to take me away from the things on which I really want to focus.

I’m here to get my act together. I’m here to get healthy and fit and try to have a little fun along the way. I’m here to write and blog and publish and learn how to cultivate an audience and focus my thoughts (I know… Not my strong suit). I like challenges, and so far I’m seven days into a thirty-nine day challenge. I know I can complete the challenge. I can produce thirty-nine responses to questions designed to help me lead a better and more fulfilling life. And I want to do it. I want to start something and successfully finish it. Not that I’m a slacker. I’m not. But I’m starting to question whether I should keep writing these daily passion prompts. I’m starting to wonder if they’re actually diluting the quality of my writing and taking me away from the reasons I started blogging to begin with.

What I really want to write about now is my first boxing lesson. The problem is, the more I write the less I feel like anyone is reading. I fear I’m becoming white noise. Background music. Something that always just sort of buzzes around, but you feel like you can’t keep up with it, so you stop even trying. I don’t want that. I want to write pieces that are fresh and real. I want them to be full of humor or raw emotion or pain or triumph. I think maybe I need to stop talking so much or I’ll lose not only my audience, but my own true voice.

September 11, 2013
by BulgingButtons 7 Comments

Daily Passion Prompt 7: You Inspire Me

TODAY’S QUESTION

Who inspires you? Who do you look up to?

Who are your mentors? And Why?

Oh no, how on earth do I answer this one? Would it be horrible to admit that I don’t really have a mentor? Oh sure, I had a few assigned to me early in my career, and along the way I have sought out others, but those relationships have either evolved or run their course.

So who inspires me? Well, that tends to change week by week. You see, lately much of my inspiration comes from the men and women who are featured on Extreme Weight Loss. No, I don’t know these people. And yes, I realize that they have tons of support as they do these insane year-long weight loss courses. But really? They lose almost half of their body weight in a year. That’s insane. That takes a delirious amount of determination and dedication, even if you do have a team to help you.

I know there are inspirational people in all walks of life. I know that people who overcome huge obstacles and put themselves out there in service of others deserve my admiration. I do admire them. Firefighters, police officers, health care workers of all types, air conditioner technicians, plumbers, electricians, fellow teachers, alligator wranglers, dog trainers, honest auto mechanics, bartenders, chefs, and exterminators all have special places in my heart. But the ones I wait for week after week, the ones I cheer on and think about when I’m feeling down, are the brave souls who take off their shirts and step on the loading dock scale.

Those fat, brave souls are the ones who fall apart at their first workout and spew out the poison that has held them back from success in the past. They’re the ones that wake up at 5 am, work through sprains and strains, and allow us to see them binge on a bag of french fries. Bless them. I don’t know if I would have the courage to put myself out there for the world to see. I give them all the credit in the world, and a little tiny part of me wishes I was one of them.

September 10, 2013
by BulgingButtons Leave a comment

Daily Passion Prompt 6: What I Want to be When I Grow Up

TODAY’S QUESTION

How do your friends, family, or coworkers finish the following sentence when they’re talking about you?

“You should be a _______”

Oddly I’ve never been told that I would make a fantastic deep sea fisherman. Nobody has ever suggested a career in stucco removal or bee keeping. I have yet to meet anyone who sees in me a talent for tightrope walking or bear wrestling. I do, however, keep hearing that I should write.

I do write. You’re reading it. I hear often that I’m a fairly decent writer, and sometimes people actually enjoy reading what I have to say. It’s occasionally thought provoking or amusing or enlightening (ok, maybe that one’s a stretch). But I’m told that I should “really” write. I’m not exactly certain what that means.

Do they think I should chuck my career and hole up in a cabin in the woods to produce the great American novel? I don’t think I’m a novelist. Or should I be writing reams of educational theory? Maybe something more practical like teachers’ guides would be up my alley. Or perhaps I could author a craft book of some sort. Quilting, anyone? Or scrapbooking? Of course I could just expound upon my life and times with a rockin memoir.

In spite of all these great ideas, I suppose it might be wise to start with somewhat smaller aspirations. Maybe getting a magazine or journal article published would be a good place to begin.

I know many authors. Some of them are extremely prolific, others are more like one hit wonders. Some of them are academics, laboring under a publish or perish doctrine and others are dabblers in the arts who feel the need to chronicle their ” journey.” Why not me? I can do this. I can write.

I could create an alternate world inhabited by imaginary characters that you just have to know more about. Or I could document and publish a book about my current educational endeavors. Or maybe poetry would be the correct venue for my self-expression? I’m just not sure.

Right now, while I try to figure it all out, I’ll stick to blogging. My mental gymnastics and hops from one train of thought to another don’t seem to be an issue here, so this is the perfect venue for me to try to get in touch with my inner author while I write, write, write. Stay tuned, and keep reading. I may publish something “real” yet.