BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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This Dog

IMG_0968This dog saved us. My son and I were reeling from life’s twists and turns, and we were trying to figure out how to be a family of two. I was also trying to figure out how to be a mother to a son who couldn’t always be with me. It was gut wrenching and stressful, but we forged ahead, what choice did we have? We were there for each other, but we were still hurting our own separate hurts.

Then it happened. We met this dog. I wanted an older dog, one who already had some training and wasn’t as high energy. House training and chewing and all the puppy stuff seemed totally overwhelming, so no puppies for us. It seemed like a good plan. We also needed a dog that was cat friendly.

We went to a local rescue organization and we walked the rows. Several animals were too large or too small or not cat friendly. Then there were those that were listed as high energy, so we took a pass on them, too. Finally, at the end of the row there was this dog.

She was adorable. She was listed as moderate energy and unknown with cats. We took her out in the play yard where she was interested in us, but not overly so. We took her into the cat area, where she was very curious, but not aggressive. We took a look at her intake sheet and learned that she was only 8 moths old and had already been returned by another family. Before that, the rescue had pulled her from the county shelter where she was slated to be euthanized. She was healthy and beautiful, how could that be?

We adopted her and she peed in the car on the way home. She also barked the whole way. Loudly. My friend met us at home, and off to the pet store we went, purchasing about $200 worth of supplies. That was on top of her (not cheap) adoption fee. Then, on top of all of that, I signed us up for obedience classes. This dog was going to need to bond with us, and what better way than through classes?IMG_0665

We took this dog home, and found out very quickly that she was insane. Barking, jumping, cat chasing, you name it. The mantra, “she’s only a puppy” went through my head all the time. Patience was the key to working with this dog. We took walk after walk after walk to burn off energy. Over time she became easier to live with. We kept going to training, and we found ourselves enjoying her company more and more.

Funny thing about her arrival, she showed up at a time of upheaval and stress. She created more of both, but by doing that she took the focus off the problem of the demolition of my marriage and family. She became the most urgent stressor, and therefor the one that we gave our energy to. I think that helped us heal more quickly.

This dog has been a wonderful dog. She has outgrown most of her crazy, although she is still cat insane (the kitties have found a nice new home together, and we are now a cat free household). This dog is sweet and loyal and loving. This dog is the reason I walked for miles and miles when my divorce was making me crazy, helping me to clear my head and exercise my body. This dog is a love and a joy, and I’m so glad we have her.


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Cold Snap

1425064638828Buffalo, New York is famous for the Blizzard of ’77, a huge January storm that practically shut down the city for several days. I remember how eerie it was to accompany my father to visit his hospital patients, driving through deserted streets as a result of the driving ban. Physicians visiting patients were exempt.

Although I was only ten years old, I was starting to develop a case of cabin fever, so I begged to go with him. Before we pulled out of the driveway, my father loaded the car with blankets and a box of Bit-o-Honey candy bars, just in case. It was by no means the first time that city was hit with nasty winter weather, though.

In the winter of 1975, a freak ice storm wrecked havoc on our community, damaging power lines and cutting off heat to thousands of homes. On our street, the odd numbered houses lost power while the even numbers stayed connected. It was not a good week to live at number 199.

Not my street, but you get the idea.

Not my street, but you get the idea.

The first night was the worst. Everything outside was in a deep freeze, and the temperature in our Depression-era house kept plunging. All winter long, our golden retriever Pucci slept on my bed protecting me from the chill of the uninsulated outside wall. With the power out, however, even Pucci’s heat couldn’t keep me warm. Not only did I have my Oma’s featherbed from Germany on top of my Hudson Bay blanket, I was wearing long underwear and a ski jacket, along with down mittens and a green and gold striped woolen cap to bed. Oh, and a nightgown and socks, three pairs to be exact. I looked something like a cross between a deranged Pippi Longstocking and a nine-year-old bag lady lost in the Arctic.

Somehow we got through the night, but the situation in the morning wasn’t much better. Cereal, milk, and fruit were fine for breakfast, but there was no power for cooking, and driving anywhere was out of the question.

My father made a fire in the living room, but it really didn’t give off that much heat, unless you were sitting practically on the hearth. I soon grew restless, and I imagine I drove my mother nuts. She made a quick call, then threw some things in a bag for me and took my mittened hand as we slipped and slid across the street and down the block to my classmate’s warm house. She left me there for three days, until our power was restored.

I guess my older brother handled the cold better, because he got to stay home with my parents, but at least I was warm. Still, I was relieved to finally go home and sleep in my own bed, minus my ridiculous ski attire


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The Guaranteed Cure for Hiccups

Many years ago I learned the cure for hiccups. I feel that it’s my civic responsibility to share it with you, dear readers, in an attempt to improve the quality of your lives.

Before I do, though, I want to stress to you the importance of performing this cure correctly. untitled2-copy1_2You see, if you mess it up you’ll end up with a spill on the floor, and the possibility of water up your nose. You’re bound to end up sputtering, and the hiccups will most likely get worse. Consider yourself warned.

At the first sign of hiccups, slow down your breathing. Sometimes (granted not often) you can nip them in the bud with this calming technique.

If not, then it’s time for a glass of water and the ultimate hiccup cure.

I know what you’re thinking, “there’s nothing revolutionary about this… drink water…but it doesn’t work.”

Well it does if you do it my way.

You need a fairly large glass of water (maybe ten to twelve ounces) with no ice. Now your job is to drink the water from the far side of the glass.

What? Is that possible?

Why yes, it is. Of course in order to be successful, you need to bend over and lean way down in order for the glass to tip enough for the water to come out of the glass and into your mouth. Your head will actually be upside down at this point.

Drink as much of the water as you can without stopping (or spilling).

Slowly stand back up, and voila! The hiccups should be gone.

This technique takes a little practice, so you might want to try it before you actually have a case of hiccups, that way you’ll be prepared. And maybe try it over a towel, in case you spill.

I promise, it works. It looks weird, and the possibility exists that a bartender might think you should be cut off, but if you have the hiccups and want them gone, do it. Just tell them I said so.