BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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An Empathy Boost and Reminder

628x471Way back when, I started this blog with a post about an inspirational young man named Ryan, whose story I watched on Extreme Weight Loss.  In a nutshell, he was in an accident and lost an arm. He lost confidence, gained weight, and ended up working with Chris Powell on the show to get healthy and fit. It’s a great, uplifting story.

The take away for me was if he can do it, so can I. Great message, but I still haven’t done it. Then again I don’t exactly have Chris Powell as my roommate, but that’s another post for another day (or maybe not).

Fast forward to my recent vacation in Hawai’i. On our cruise there was a couple that we bumped into several times. They were at least a decade older than me, and they got married in Maui on the second day of the cruise. They were a friendly, outgoing couple clearly in love with life. They did have to do some things a little differently though, because, as he said, in a match of motorcycle vs. semi, the motorcycle seldom wins. One of his legs was prosthetic and the other was horribly damaged. It was clear where large areas of tissue had been removed. Hawai’i is warm this time of year, and, like most everyone else, this gentleman wore shorts.

We went on several excursions and these folks were there with us. He used a scooter for long distances, but could walk short distances and up and down the steps of busses and vans. Yes, it took a little longer, and I imagine that there was a fair amount of frustration and even pain involved to get and out of vehicles and around to different sights, but there was always a smile and a joke.

I think the universe is trying to remind me. I saw it before. I got the message. I just haven’t acted on it. I have all my parts in reasonably good working order. These men that I admire do not. Do they let that stop them from being active and achieving goals? No. I shouldn’t either. Thanks, universe, I needed that reminder.


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Overflowing

imagesI am a balloon inflated with too much air

A sausage filled beyond the capacity of its casing

A suitcase jammed full of clothes, clean and dirty, at the end of a long trip

I am the toybox overflowing with neglected and broken toys

The closet stuffed with a wardrobe that spans four seasons and just as many sizes

I am the trashbin nobody wants to empty, jammed fuller than I ought to be

I am filled beyond capacity

beyond comfort

beyond use


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The Twelfth Day of Christmas – And Boy Do I Feel Fat

My sweetheart gave me a little history of Christmas and the Epiphany today as we took the Christmas lights off the garage. The lesson continued on the way to dinner at Kona Grill. You see, I just got back from Hawai’i and there’s really no food in the house, so dinner out was in order. My sweetie suggested Kona Grill to extend that Hawaiian feeling.

Kona-Grill-Pulled-Pork-SlidersThe lesson was fascinating and I learned about the Twelve Days of Christmas. I also learned that the Christmas season is now officially over, if you count all twelve days. Over. Done. Finished.

Kind of like my vacation. Today was the first day back to school, and it was a long one. Today we tried out a slightly new schedule, regrouped students for both math and reading, and began the study of fractions and magnets. I also had a new student start today, and I worked on report cards after school for two hours. They are not yet finished. Yes, vacation is over. Done. Finished.

This is not a boo hoo, poor me post. I’m very fortunate and I know it. Few people get to take off two weeks in the middle of winter and escape to Hawai’i with loved ones. Few people get to take off two weeks in the middle of winter, period. I enjoyed the time off and I especially enjoyed the trip, but now it’s over and real life has returned.

Real life means bills and laundry and bedtimes and deadlines. It also means a reality check on the state of my health and well being. Mental health? Great. Rested, relaxed, batteries charged and ready to go. Physical health? Uh… not so great. No, I’m not sick (cross fingers, knock on wood, chant a magical incantation, anything to keep me well). However, and this is a big however, I’m not in very good shape either. The holidays and the cruise were delicious and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Now, though, after our fabulous Kona Grill dinner, I have to face the music that, like Christmas, vacation is over. Vacation mode eating needs to end too.

I’m not enthusiastic about facing the scale, but I feel like I have to. I know I’ve gained weight. I see it. I feel it. My clothes are tight, my face has rounded out even further, and my multiple chins are wiggling whenever I speak. Rolling over in bed is becoming paramount to an Olympic event, and tying my shoes is enough to get me winded. I hate this feeling. Ok, so maybe my mental health isn’t quite as fabulous as I first suggested. Just like Jacob Marley I wish to be free of the chains I’ve been forging in this life. To quote Scrooge, “I want to live!”

It’s time to start over. Not those absurd New Year’s Resolutions that some people make, but the baby steps that always lead me in the right direction. I need to revisit my 47 for 47 challenge page, eat better, move more, and allow myself to be ok with who I am, even though I’m not perfect. Here we go again. Here’s to your, and my, health in the New Year.