Weight loss | BulgingButtons

October 19, 2013
by BulgingButtons 6 Comments

What’s in a Name? Hopefully Not More Surgery

If you happen to google the name “bulging buttons” with a space in between, you will see all sorts of posts related to umbilical hernias. Of course, when I chose the name, I was only thinking about the poor overworked buttons on my blouses and jeans, not medical issues. Still, the umbilical hernia is appropriate to this blog also, I’m sorry to say.

First, what is a hernia? I always thought it was something that only men got and only by lifting gigantic and terribly heavy objects. Not true. It’s what happens when some of your guts spill through a tear in your muscle. It turns out that there are different types of hernias and different ways to get them.

***Let me pause for a moment and declare, quite plainly, that I am not a doctor. I am not in the medical profession at all. Just in case there was any doubt. I took biology for non-majors in college, and much of that wasn’t clear to me. I’m just repeating what I’ve been told and read, and some, or a lot of it, might not be 100% accurate. Now that the disclaimer has been offered, let’s continue.***

I know that women can have hernias because I’ve had not one, but two of them. The first was of the umbilical variety (you know, the bulging belly button kind). It was weird, because I had an innie, then I got pregnant and it disappeared, then I had my son and the innie reappeared, but misshapen, then, a while later, it disappeared again. Some astute doctor along the way said something to the effect of, “Oh, you have an umbilical hernia. Here, see a surgeon and see what he thinks.” So I did.

I saw the same brilliant surgeon who removed my terribly infected gall bladder (but that’s another fun story for another day). Not surprisingly he suggested surgery. Which he did. It was the beginning of summer break, and I had plenty of time to heal. I took it easy, and in spite of a little infection which required a giant needle to the belly button (yes, I know it’s horrific, I lived it), the outcome was good.

Fast forward a few years, and my ample belly had become misshapen. It also felt weirdly hard in some areas, and typically mushy in others. Almost as though I had swallowed a football. I didn’t get it. Hoping it wasn’t a tumor of some sort I sought medical advice. I was told it’s nothing. I disagreed. It was obviously something, I hadn’t been like that my entire life. A different medical professional told me, “I think you may have a hernia, but let’s do some tests.” Super.

Ultrasound, x-ray, and CT scan were completed. Surgeon was consulted. MY surgeon (he really is a genius) now specializes in breast surgery, but another in his group saw me. Fixed me. Coaxed me through recovery. OMG, it took so much longer than the last time. He reminded me that 1. it was a huge hernia (a lot of guts poking through the muscle tear) and 2. I wasn’t as young as I used to be.

Recovery really was a bitch, and by association so was I. It f’ing hurt. I couldn’t sit, I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t lay down, I couldn’t sit up. I wore a huge elastic band around my midsection to keep it all from falling apart. My dog didn’t understand me. She tried. She licked me and wagged her tail hopefully. I patted her and grunted. I was afraid to shower and afraid to look. I developed an allergy to the adhesive holding my bandages in place. My incision opened and required daily cleaning and packing. It was revolting.

It took a good three months before I finally began to feel like myself again, and then I got pneumonia (just for something different, I suppose).

The lesson has not been lost on me. I am too big. I am too heavy. I am stressing my body in ways that it cannot cope with. I need to give it a break. I need to take off some of the weight, improve my muscle tone, and avoid another surgery. If you learn anything from bulgingbuttons, please learn that you are worth the effort. I’m still trying to learn that lesson myself.

October 16, 2013
by BulgingButtons 16 Comments

The Hundredth Post Reflection: This Fat Girl is on a Mission

I knew this day was coming. As I kept writing and hitting the publish key, I kept getting closer to this milestone. To me, it’s pretty momentous. One hundred posts on BulgingButtons. Wow. I have to admit I’m kind of stoked. One hundred posts represents a certain level of dedication and follow through. You see, I have a bit of a history of starting things and then dropping them. Almost always things that are, or should be, good for me. Now the things that haven’t worked for me, like wrong-fit boyfriends or lame jobs, well, those I hung onto for too long. But the “good” stuff? Ballet lessons, gym memberships, weight loss programs… well, they all fell by the wayside before too long. I figured the blogging itch might be another example of this pattern, but since nothing was really riding on it, I decided that it was ok.

When I started messing around with this blog (and really, that’s exactly what it was, a mess) I gave myself permission to do it or not do it. I figured if it clicked, great, but if it didn’t that would be fine too. Well, those days are gone! I’m hooked. Blogging no longer feels like an afterthought or a pastime that self-absorbed homemakers with too much time and too little to keep them connected to reality indulge in. Insulting? Absolutely. But c’mon, you’ve seen some of those blogs! I find myself wanting to shake them and shout, “Lighten up, let a few dust bunnies settle, and play with your kids on the (not so recently mopped) floor once in a while.”

True confession time. I’m sort of jealous of many of those bloggers. Their blogs have huge followings, awesome content (most of the time), and lots going on. They are obviously well thought out and include all sorts of bells and whistles that I can only wonder at. Some of them make a living at blogging and others have launched books and other businesses as a result of their blogs. Holy cow!

I may not be in the big leagues yet (or ever) but I’ve come a long way in a short time. I have a loyal group of readers who readily offer observations and encouragement, my writing has been seen on every continent but Antarctica, and I’m becoming a better writer. All of these are side benefits of BulgingButtons that I never anticipated. I just wanted a forum to write about making positive changes in my life. I had no idea that this forum would contribute to those changes. I figured if I poured out my heart and soul about my battle of the bulge, maybe I would have more success with it. The whole accountability thing was appealing, but I wanted to do it incognito, since I really didn’t want some kid in my class telling me about how he read my blog and shares my love of Oreos and my aversion to steamed broccoli. Little did I know that I would be writing more about life and less about veggies and sit-ups. Well, that’s not entirely true. I never expected to write about sit-ups. I haven’t done a sit-up in over two decades.

After one hundred posts here I am, still battling the bulge. I’m still making lots of bad choices (cheddar bay biscuit, anyone?) and a few good ones. I’m still chugging away like the little engine that could, and I’m still writing about it for all the world to read.

In honor of my hundredth post I salute you, dear readers, whether this is your first visit or your ninety-first. Thanks for reading, commenting, sharing, and sticking with me. I may still be a fat girl, but with all of you along for the ride, I’m a fat girl on a mission!

(Note: I read the WordPress daily prompt after writing this post, and I actually think it’s a perfect fit) October 16th is officially declared “Person X Day” — and you get to pick Person X. Tell us about someone who deserves to be commemorated.