BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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Fake it Til You Make it

There’s a famous story about Mary Kay cosmetics founder Mary Kay Ash. It is said (and I have no idea whether it’s true or not) that each morning before she began calling potential clients from her kitchen table she had a routine. She would dress professionally, including stockings and shoes, do her make up carefully (after all, that was her product), and style her hair. Only after she looked like a million bucks would she begin her sales calls. On the phone. From her house.

No, nobody saw her. She could have been in curlers wearing her pajamas, after all, her clients couldn’t see her. But she was convinced that it made a difference. She presented herself as a successful business person, and to her clients she came across as exactly that. The woman built an empire, and you still see the occasional pink Mary Kay Cadillac driving around.

Her story isn’t unique. Many successful people report that they behaved as if they were already a success before they achieved whatever goal they sought. Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers provides more good examples of the ways that people set themselves up for success. A strong belief is one piece of the success puzzle, and one over which we have control.

I’m a writer. I’m successful. I think of myself as a writer, and behave like a writer (whatever that means), and I let people know I’m a writer. Do I have a book contract? Not yet. Have I been printed in prestigious periodicals? Not yet. But it’s coming.

What makes me a writer? Besides my mindset, it’s the numerous small things that I do. Here are a sampling of my “writer” things:

1. I have a dedicated place to do my writing, I call it my studio

2. My hard drive is called “writer’s den”

3. I receive and read publications for writers (Writer’s Digest, Poet’s and Writers, and the Barefoot Writer)

4. I submit my writing to websites and periodicals for publication (and guess what, sometimes they get published)

5. I blog, regularly

6. I attend writer’s workshops and conferences

7. I have a writing partner and we meet to read and critique each other’s work

8. I seek out good writing and read it

9. I have a writing website currently under construction

10. I write!

There are others too, I’m sure. It’s just a part of who I am.

What makes you a ______________ (fill in the blank)? Until I have a byline in the New York Times or a book deal I’m going to keep doing the things that make me a writer. In fact, even after those things happen I’ll be doing these things.

Do you believe in “fake it til you make it?” What steps have you taken in your own life along these lines? I’d love to hear from you.


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I’m in the Top Five

saas-productsWhat does it mean to be in the top five? Without any other information, it sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

If I’m one of the top five earners in a Fortune 500 company, I’m probably doing pretty well. If I’m attending one of the top five universities in the world, I’m probably getting an excellent education. In those cases, top five means something.

What if I told you it was for a monthly writing contest? Does it still sound pretty good? It’s no longer clear, is it?

I received an email yesterday informing me that my submission was well received and indeed was one of the top five submissions. Clearly it wasn’t number one in the judges’ eyes, since I didn’t win, but still, to be considered one of the top five seemed like an honor to me. I imagine that’s why sent that particular email, not to make me feel like my piece was way off the mark.

Then I got to thinking about it a little more, and I wondered, just how many submissions did they receive? Was I in the top five of only five received, or was I in the top five of five hundred?

Does it matter? Well, yes and no. Yes, because maybe my work really wasn’t very good but there wasn’t much to choose from, so by default it ended up in the top five. If that’s the case, I would love to know, and to learn specifically how I can improve. I’m not going to get that type of feedback, though, I’m afraid. In fact I was a bit surprised to receive the feedback I did get.

Since I’m not one to look gift horses in their respective mouths, I’ll just assume that there was a nice pile of submissions and mine hung around until nearly the end of the judging process. The thought puts a spring in my step and makes me want to write more. So what if there were fewer than a dozen entrants, that means next time I may even make it to the final round.

 


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Split Personality

aheadsI’m at an impasse. I’m not sure what to write about. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say. I ALWAYS seem to have something to say. It’s just that I’m not sure in what direction I should go at the moment.

This blog began as a way for me to bitch and moan and then celebrate a little about how I was treating my body. I was going to get fit, dammit! And I was going to be accountable along the way by sharing my trials and tribulations with all of you out there in blog-land. Naturally, I would digress from time to time, but that was fine, especially since I planned to be completely anonymous.

Well, it didn’t take long for me to start writing about my family of origin, and my current family situation. After all, this is my life, so welcome to it. Again, I was anonymous, so whatever raw emotions I was feeling I spilled out onto the screen and didn’t think twice about hitting the publish button. I am what I am, take it or leave it. Something like that.

Then I started to sneak in some of my professional life. I’m a teacher. Teaching is an all consuming profession. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about SOME aspect of my profession. Lesson plans are swirling around in my brain, the endless to-do list nags at me at the most inopportune times, and I’m constantly thinking about how I can be more effective. It’s impossible to be me without also being an educator, so again, into the blog it went.

One of my education pieces got picked up by Scary Mommy, and that was a lot of fun. Thousands of readers took in my words, and honestly that was a rush. The piece was also translated into Greek and posted on no fewer than 8 Greek language websites. That event also marked the end of my anonymity.

Now in addition to an educator, I’m a writer. As time has gone on, I’ve come to realize that writing is something that I’m meant to do. I’ve been writing, reading about writing, learning about writing, and writing about writing. And yes, I put that into the blog too.

So now what I have is a big ‘ole mess. The blog has turned into a giant mish-mosh of stuff, from fun fitness for fat chicks to fabulous books for fourth graders to my childhood memories of gingerbread to my feelings about frito-pie and standardized testing. I’m afraid that as I’ve spread out my topics, I’ve lost some momentum. I feel like I’ve lost my edge by wandering around discussing this topic and that. I feel like I need to narrow my focus and find my niche, but I’m not sure I exactly WANT to do that. I like writing about a little of this and a little of that. And I don’t think I have the energy to run several blogs at once.

Even if I did, what would I call them?

BulgingButtons – or how two years later I’m still fat and struggle with making good lifestyle choices

All the Pretty Words – The Journey to Becoming the Writer I Believe is Hiding Inside Me

Give Kids a Chance – My Take on How our Education System Ought to Help Kids

Past, Present, Future – My life as it was, is, and hopefully will be

I know bloggers who have revamped their blogs, or started additional blogs to address new topics. What do you think? Shall I soldier on? Make some changes? Rein in some of my topics? Avoid others all together? I’d love some feedback, and if you’ve been with me for some time, thank you, your support means a lot.