September | 2013 | BulgingButtons

September 4, 2013
by BulgingButtons 8 Comments

The Devil, Karma, and Frito Pie

You know those little angel and devil guys from the cartoons? The ones that sit on your shoulders? Well I think I have a pair of them hanging around me lately. Not only do I think I have them, I think they’re sparring like crazy. Recently it seems like when I do something positive, there’s something negative right on its heels. Maybe life is usually like that, but I’m just noticing it more, or maybe something is afoot in the cosmos.

Let me give you an example. The other day I did a favor for someone that involved a fair amount of time and effort. It wasn’t difficult, and I didn’t really mind doing it, but it did take a chunk of time that I would have rather spent doing something else. Regardless, I did it and was kind of patting myself on the back about what a nice person I was when I discovered, hours later, that I left my phone behind. Damn. It was nobody’s fault but my own. It took another hour to remedy the situation. Again, it wasn’t difficult, but it took time and effort. It made me think of the phrase, “no good deed goes unpunished.” Which I don’t even believe!

It got me to thinking. Is the universe attempting to achieve some sort of balance, or is it just me being an idiot?

The same has been true for my approach to diet and exercise lately. I’ve been doing my workouts with enthusiasm and gradually increasing their intensity. This is a good thing. I’ve also upped my intake of fresh fruits, and gotten in the habit of taking all my meds when they’re due. I used to forget doses, but I’ve changed the way I accomplish this task, and the new method has proven successful. I know what you’re thinking. So, what’s the problem? Well, it’s just that I can’t quite work out my portion control or say no to the delicious dinners my sweetheart has prepared. Recently we’ve enjoyed meatloaf, a shrimp boil, spaghetti, and fried chicken. It’s all delicious, and I’m truly grateful that he cooks. The thing is, though, that it’s so good that I have trouble limiting my intake of these wonderful foods.

And then there was the Frito Pie.

Have you heard of this? I hadn’t. And no, it’s not made of Frito’s and pie, just so you know. The recipe is simple:

1. Frito’s

2. Canned Chili

3. Cheese

Heat the chili, pour over the Frito’s, and top with as much cheese as you can grate. O. M. G. Yeah, it was that good.

Seriously, this girl does NOT need Frito Pie in her life. At all. Ever. (So says the angel on the shoulder) But, DANG, it was so yummy (the devil is enthusiastically nodding and grinning).

Maybe this whole plus minus thing is all the universe’s way of reaching for balance. I can respect that, but right now I need to shake off that devil and challenge the status quo.

September 3, 2013
by BulgingButtons 3 Comments

Feeling a Little Less Wobbly

Remember that scene in Shallow Hal where Rosemary ends up on the floor of the ice cream shop because her chair breaks? You don’t? You didn’t see it? That’s ok. Rosemary is extremely obese, but Hal can’t see it because he’s under a spell that allows him to see people through the lens of their inner beauty. In other words, he sees Gwyneth Paltrow while the rest of the world sees her in a fat suit. While they are on a date, her chair gives way and she ends up on the floor. It’s a common fat person nightmare.

It’s a nightmare that until yesterday I was in danger of living. You see, we had these extremely cheap-o chairs around our kitchen table. They were the Swedish assemble it yourself and save type, and they served us well for about a year. After that, they started to wobble. All of them, not just mine. Tightening screws didn’t seem to help, so we got used to sitting in chairs that were a little wonky. Then one morning about two weeks ago, it happened. Mine shifted. It was like an amusement park ride, only it wasn’t amusing. All of a sudden I started listing to one side. My cat like reflexes steadied me, but I was shaken. A screw had broken, and the whole thing now resembled something Salvador Dali might have designed.

Now the good news is that there are three of us who use chairs in our household and four chairs. A shift was made, and we carried on. However, I couldn’t get the image of Rosemary on the floor out of my mind. It was only a matter of time with these wonky chairs. I was just too much for them.

Yesterday I decided that enough was enough. My errands took me to a warehouse store, where they had exactly what I wanted. They were sturdy, inexpensive, and similar in style to the old chairs. We brought them home, set them up, and I’ve been sitting pretty ever since. One less fat person thing to worry about. Now I can comfortably sit at the kitchen table and catch up on my work that I’ve put aside in favor of blogging. What a relief.

September 2, 2013
by BulgingButtons 6 Comments

Dusting Off the Welcome Mat

Last night before I went to bed I clicked on my blog stats. My fingers were crossed, but I told myself it was a very good day regardless. I held my breath, and checked the number of visits. Would my old record be broken? And who was I, obsessing about these numbers? What does this say about my personality? I’ve blogged about addictive personality before, but I’m still not certain how I feel about it, or whether my little mini-obsessions count. Anyway, there is was. The number of visits for the day. I was 5 clicks shy of my one day record. Dammit. And still 49 followers. Ok, calm down. It was a great day in the blog world. I had visitors from Hungary, Israel, Australia, Guernsey (which I knew is a cow, but didn’t know was a country), Canada, Great Britain, Switzerland, France, and the United States. C’mon, how cool is that? In my quest to color in my world map, I’m definitely making some progress. C’mon Greenland and South America, click on over.

I sometimes worry that this blog might be feeling a little schizophrenic. Yes, its main focus is about living life as a fat woman and how I’m seeking to improve the quality of that life. But in order to do that, and in order to freely write about what’s important to me, I will often go off that topic. After all, I’m more than just a fat person. I’m a parent and an educator and a quilter, to name a few of my roles. These are topics I also write about, with a strong dash of opinions on many things random. I will post my quilting endeavors, and I will write to daily prompts. Many of you have found me through those venues. I’m glad you have. I hope you can tolerate the many types of posts that I share.

Back to the main topic though, this morning I decided I was being rather silly about the whole thing. Yes, it’s an absolute thrill to know that people the world over are taking a moment to click through my site, and maybe they’re staying long enough to read my thoughts. What’s more exciting to me, though, is knowing that there are kindred spirits out there. You are the ones who leave a message of encouragement, or stop by the Facebook page, or leave a pingback (which I’m still trying to figure out). You are the ones nodding your head while you read, or laughing at something ridiculous I’ve written, or yelling at the screen because you are absolutely certain that I am dead wrong about something. Good. I’m glad you do. I’m glad you’re here and spending a few minutes of your precious time with me. Many of you are brand new readers, and several of you have become old friends, if you can have old friends after just two short months. For all of you, I’m dusting off my welcome mat, and reminding you that no matter who you are or where you’re from, you are welcome to stop by whenever you would like. And just for the record, feel free to bring a friend.