Low carb, no carb, eat all the carbs you want, it really depends on who you ask, doesn’t it? I’ve eaten for my blood type, counted my points, and gone walking with Jenny’s cassette tapes in my pseudo-walkman. I learned how they eat in South Beach, and I’ve consumed gallons of cabbage soup, which I happen to like very much. Still, I’m fat. I’m fat because my head and my heart just aren’t buying it. Whatever the current craze is, I’m not likely to be on board, at least not all the way.

I know I need to eat better, but for me the idea of fat substitutes or gluten free anything sends chills down my spine. The thought of tracking down stevia and recreating recipes completely repels me.  Even fruits and vegetables are a little difficult for me to make peace with. I’m not a complete non-believer though. Here are the things I do know I need to do:

1. eat less crap

2. eat more good stuff

3. exercise more

That’s about it. Simple. But the fact is that for whatever reason, no matter how simple it may be,  it’s not easy. I have so many bad habits that breaking them seems an impossible task. Not only that, but new bad habits threaten at every turn. An addiction to gas station brand bagged cinnamon bear candy comes to mind. Yes, really. Where has this delight been all my life? And why do I like it so much? And why, once I open the bag, do I feel the need to eat every last one of those deliciously soft and chewy-spicy red bears? I know there are people who actually close the bag up and save some for later, but that’s not me.

In my defense, though, I have played around with exercise more in the past several months than in any of my previous attempts at body (and mind) reshaping. Yes, it’s still really difficult for me, and yes, I totally suck at it and don’t want to do it, but I do. Now don’t go telling me which exercise I’m going to love, because I will probably shut down and only hear the Charlie Brown teacher voice. Feel free to tell me what you love, though, in a non-threatening way, of course. I’m glad you’re a runner and did several miles along the canal. I envy you that. Crossfit is your thing? Fabulous. You’re a monster and I bow to you, and no, there’s no sarcasm in that statement, in case you weren’t sure. I enjoy hearing how others truly enjoy working their bodies, and I hope some of that positive spirit will rub off on me.

So even though I enjoy hearing about your bike race and your new personal best time, I won’t be joining you for hot yoga or spin class anytime soon. Do they even still do spin class? I’m still such a novice at moving my body that my workouts haven’t yet evolved past my front door. That’s ok. I’ll get there. Just please don’t push me, I’ll do it when I’m good and ready.