Not bad for a fat girl

When is a Donut Not a Donut?


Driving down the street of my hometown I point out the donut shop where my longtime friend works. My mother replies, “I don’t eat donuts.” I call bullshit. Just the other morning there was a receipt on the kitchen table for a cup of coffee and a glazed donut. Mother says it didn’t happen. “It’s on the receipt” I persist.

“Oh, that wasn’t a donut. It had a hole in it. It was a pastry. Donuts have a filling.”

What? Is she serious? It had a hole so it isn’t a donut, even though the receipt clearly states, “glazed donut?” I’m mystified.

krispykreme_this“Why isn’t it a donut?” I ask seeking clarification.

“Because I don’t eat donuts. I couldn’t,” she replies.

I bite, “why not?”

Then, the answer that I never expected to hear from the mouth of a person who is well into her seventh decade (but don’t tell her I told you that), “because if I ate a donut, I would hate myself.”

I was floored. Really? Truly? Your self worth is so tied to what passes your lips that you are willing to rename food you eat just so that your psyche doesn’t figure out what you’ve done and beat you up for it? And your psyche is so out of touch with reality that it’s okay with this arrangement? Wow.

I guess the lesson here is that a donut is not a donut when your self worth is tied to your food intake and you eat something that will cause you to “hate” yourself. What a sad state of affairs. I would rather love my fat self and enjoy a donut, whether it has a hole or not.

Author: BulgingButtons

I'm a middle aged woman doing the things that middle aged women do and trying not to beat myself up. I'm living the life I choose with the man I love, the grown up son who impresses me all the time, and the most adorable pup ever rescued from the euthanasia list. We live in the heat of the Southwest, where I regularly sweat through my Lane Bryant bras.

6 thoughts on “When is a Donut Not a Donut?

  1. Wow. Now I’ve heard everything.

  2. I tell my customers that complain about the calories in donuts that “donuts make you happy”. In the end, that’s all that counts!

  3. Thankfully I don’t like doughnuts (no seriously, I’m not delusional), but my mother likes to point out that commercially prepared muffins have more calories and fat than a doughnut. Ergo she can justify some pretty serious “pastry” eating. I’m sorry your mom has never enjoyed a doughnut. Definitely very sad to be that hung up on a food stuff.

  4. Oh, we have some serious food issues in our family. I think I may be the most normal one about it, and I’m the one who is hugely overweight!

  5. So, is it a bagel because it has a hole? Lol. That would have saved me a lot of guilt over the boxes of crispy cremes I used to eat – if I’d known they weren’t donuts!

    • No, apparently a bagel is in a different category all together. But if you wish to rename food in order to fool your guilt reflex, by all means be my guest. You are in good company. 🙂

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