Not bad for a fat girl

Where Do I Even Begin?


8C9532816-2417481-halloween-letter.blocks_desktop_mediumNo doubt many of you have already seen this little gem by now and have formed your own opinions about it. My first reaction? You have got to be kidding me. My next reaction involved some choice words that I prefer to keep out of print for now.

I think the story goes something like this: a woman in the midwest wants to do her civic duty by proclaiming her neighbors’ children obese and giving them notes to that effect instead of candy on Halloween night. The notes not only explain what a wonderful service she is doing them, but go on to suggest that the parents ration the candy the children happen to accumulate from the disappointing neighbors who might stoop to give them any.

Jeez, talk about fat shaming. This is fat shaming and parent shaming and just plain old nastiness all rolled into one self-serving holier-than-thou pile of crap. Let’s face it, this note is just plain mean.

Here’s the deal, I’m usually a pretty open minded individual. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I generally try to convince myself that people have others’ best interests at heart. In this case I just don’t see it.

If you think giving candy to some kids and mean spirited notes to others is somehow going to improve their health, you’re out of your mind. You’re worried about childhood obesity? Don’t give out candy. Better yet, don’t give out anything. Turn off your light and stay away from the windows. Your neighbors will probably thank you. Especially those with the chubby children who you will target with your ill conceived notes.

Notes which, by the way, you apparently spent considerable time on, including a cute graphic.  Which makes me wonder if this is even real. Who shared this with the world? Halloween hasn’t happened yet. Is someone pulling the wool over our eyes? Are we being pranked?

I hope so , because you don’t know every child’s story. You don’t know every family’s story. Neither do I. If they’re letting their kids trick-or-treat that’s their business. If you don’t want to participate,  don’t. You don’t get to pick and choose which kids get a treat and which kids don’t. If you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing. Sit this one out and admit that maybe you’re not the expert on everything. You want to help kids? Help your community? Fantastic. This is not the way to do it.


Author: BulgingButtons

I'm a middle aged woman doing the things that middle aged women do and trying not to beat myself up. I'm living the life I choose with the man I love, the grown up son who impresses me all the time, and the most adorable pup ever rescued from the euthanasia list. We live in the heat of the Southwest, where I regularly sweat through my Lane Bryant bras.

9 thoughts on “Where Do I Even Begin?

  1. Gotta love the ignorance of some. This is an obvious fail. I bet she didn’t even consider that perhaps the child(ren) have a medical condition. A nasty Halloween-gram will not combat childhood obesity in any manner. What she did was cause the child’s self-esteem to lower with this blow.

  2. What a horrible note that woman gave out!! Who does she think she is?? I despise people who judge like this when they have no right to say such mean things, especially to children!! =( I hope she just turns off her lights and not partake in Halloween. I haven’t seen this till now, but this is so sad to hear that this is going around.

  3. My friend, I shall refer to her as Jane, was morbidly obese and so was her daughter. One day she was waiting for a bus (without her daughter) and a woman walked by with an obese child. One of the people at the bus stop turned to Jane and said “Poor kid, it’s the parents’ fault!”
    Jane stared at her for a minute then said “you’re right, it is”. She had an epiphany. Her daughter was fat because she filled her house with unhealthy food. Her daughter was young, too young to go to the shops alone and buy chocolate behind her mum’s back.

    Jane went to the doctor and has now lost so much weight that I hardly recognise her. So has her daughter. Sounds like the kind of story the woman who sent this letter out wants to hear to confirm her beliefs doesn’t it?
    What I missed out is that it took Jane numerous visits to the doctor, psychotherapy to deal with some skeletons in the family closet and a gastric band as well as a change of diet and attitude.

    jane did it, but she needed a great deal of help. I’m so proud of her, it hasn’t been easy at all.

    I once gained 50 kilos (110 pounds) in a year because of medication. The medication I was on made me constantly hungry. I could eat enough for three people and be ravenous 15 minutes later. I craved fruit juices and other high sugar drinks. The doctors kept telling me to eat carrot sticks but I couldn’t. I had never been fat before and I started to think I had lost my mind and developed an eating disorder. Eventually, when my health started to suffer my doctor changed my medication. The weight I had gained fell off without my dieting simply because my appetite returned to normal. I don’t even like sugary drinks (I’m a savoury fan) so what on earth caused me to crave them?

    I’ve gained a bit since then because of old age and greediness but I have noticed that once I get above a certain weight something inside me snaps and I start craving food. As long as I stay below the trigger point my weight remains stable. Plump but not obese.
    Christmas and parties can cause me to go above the trigger point because I eat more than I need to to be sociable and polite.
    I’m learning to be less polite!

    • You’re right about parents making the decisions for the home situation, and I’m glad Jane was able to make good ones for herself and her daughter.

      As you pointed out it had to come from a place within her, not some nosey neighbor. And as you also pointed out, sometimes there are circumstances, medical or other, that outsiders can’t see or understand.

      Thanks for adding to the discussion, and being a voice of encouragement and reason. 🙂

  4. I hope that this is just a scam, but if it’s real… shame on her/him/them. I don’t know how anyone could honestly feel that doing something like this would be beneficial. The psychological damage that this note is sure to inflict…
    Makes me want to punch something.

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