November | 2013 | BulgingButtons

November 12, 2013
by BulgingButtons 4 Comments

Two Freeway Nightmares

I’ve just woken up from my second vivid dream, nightmare really, involving driving on the freeway. Ok, I’m listening. I will slow down. I will pay meticulous attention. I do not wish to live out either scenario, although the second is far preferable to the first.

Nightmare number 1: I’m driving along on a familiar freeway, in the middle lane, going south. My attention is diverted for a split second. I look up and there is a man standing by the driver’s door of his stalled white pickup truck directly in front of me. I’m going too fast. I wake up.

Nightmare number 2: I’m riding with my mother on an unfamiliar freeway (impossible, she doesn’t drive on freeways). In the middle distance I notice cars are having trouble with a high point in the road. As we get to this spot the minivan ahead of us goes airborn. We see the bottom of the van looming in front of us. They manage to land. Mom manages to stop without it hitting us. Both of us badly shaken, I talk her through pulling off to the side so nobody hits us. Nobody does. I tell her she saved our lives. The back of the minivan opens. There is a dog crate in the back and kids in the seats. I think everyone is ok. I wake up.

For me, this is the real stuff of nightmares. I don’t generally dream of monsters or aliens. Usually I have pleasant dreams, but sometimes I dream of the things I fear. I fear getting into a bad accident. I will be careful. I will listen to my dreams, even when they are awful.

November 11, 2013
by BulgingButtons 14 Comments

The Gradual Slide Into Decline

A longtime friend is in town for a conference. I have plans to see her today and I’m excited about that. I would like to bring her by my home to meet my sweetheart and my puppy. Except then I look around. Dammit. The dishes from last night (and pots, pans, knives, cutting board, wine glasses…etc.) did not somehow magically wash themselves. No worries, I will empty the dishwasher and load it up again and we’ll be good to go.

Except that we’re not. Good to go, that is. My lunchbox from Friday is on the counter. It’s Monday. I have three purses on the floor behind the couch, a week’s worth of mail is on the kitchen table, and that basket of clean laundry is still standing in my bedroom, unfolded. In all fairness, it’s only underwear. I fished out everything else and folded and put it away. I was in a hurry.

Still, if I did those small things, the house would still not be what I want it to be. The office, where I sit and write, and also sew from time to time, is far too cluttered, with no place for all of the things it currently houses. The little bookshelf in the dining room was only supposed to be there over the summer while I was changing classrooms, and my dining room table has held a computer monitor since March. With no computer attached, I might add.

Each of these things is small, but the cumulative effect is overwhelming chaos. At least in my eyes. I think that’s why I don’t deal with each of those small things. I feel like they won’t make a difference to the overall appearance and atmosphere of the home. You can see it coming, can’t you? The aha moment? Well, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

This is just like what I do to my body. A little slip here, a misstep there, I tell myself these are small things. No big deal. But over time look at what all of those small, easily reversible things have accumulated into. I can fix my house in a day. It may not be perfect but it will be a lot better, and the results will be instantly recognizable. Not so with my body. I can’t fix it in a day, or a week, or a month. What I can do, and must do, is stop treating it so haphazardly.

Like my home, when I maintain my body a certain way it is a joy. It is comfortable, functional, and just feels good. I need to keep that in mind. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a little more housekeeping to attend to.

November 10, 2013
by BulgingButtons 9 Comments

Stranger in a Strange Land

I am having a minor freak out moment here. I am 17,000 words plus into my Young Adult novel that I’m writing. I’m doing it as part of NaNoWriMo, and for some foolish reason I think I can either complete the 50,000 word challenge or at least get close. I’m on the right pace, but not everyday turns out the same for writing. I mean, once all my original ideas have been written, then what?

That’s not the real problem, though. The 50,000 words all need to flow in a manner that tells a single story, and within that story convey multiple plot lines and characters. Words are easy. I can always find words (in spite of an earlier post wondering whether or not I would be able to do just that). It’s finding the right words that’s the problem.

I know, I’m supposed to suspend judgment and just write. Silence the inner editor and all that jazz. Got it. What I don’t have are novel writing skills. I’m floundering in the land of description and spending too much energy on back story. I know I need more action, but I’m not sure how to write it. How do I pace my scenes? How do I utilize dialogue effectively? How do I move the action from one point to another? How do I include the factual information necessary to understand the story? And on and on it goes. I have no idea how to craft a novel, this much is apparent.

For that reason, and that reason alone, I am freaking out. One thing that has helped me is the software I’m using, WriteItNow. It allows me to arrange my writing into chapters, gives me places for notes, setting, ideas, etc. It has screens that allow me to connect my characters together with all of their relationships, and offers so much more that I haven’t even scratched the surface of. And no, they’re not paying me to endorse them.

The other help has been my flow map of the story. I’m sure the software offers something very similar, but I didn’t take the time that I needed to learn how to do it. I just grabbed a pen and paper and started drawing my boxes, with each chapter’s main event summarized, so I can go back and add, delete, or change as necessary. For me this is far easier than an outline, but it still gives me the structure I need to make sure the story has continuity.

If you’re still reading, you deserve a medal. I feel a little better just getting my worries about this project off my chest. Now if I were a smart NaBloPoMo blogger, I would wait until tomorrow to post this, but I’m not. There will be more words tomorrow, I’m sure.