It doesn’t rain much here, but when it does it often comes as a deluge. The usually hot dry climate is rough on items made from rubber, and they don’t last like they do in other areas. That’s especially true of windshield wiper blades.
Two days ago there was a huge cloud in the sky. Giant. It was one of those ominous looking ones, all grey and threatening. I received a text at work from my sweetheart asking what year my car was. Huh? I sent him the information and carried on. We had tickets to a holiday concert that evening, and I wanted to make sure I got home in plenty of time to get ready. He had gone in early that day and was already home. I soon forgot about his question and wrapped up my day.
When I arrived home he asked me if I wanted to go with him. It was about an hour before we were scheduled to leave for the concert. Go where? To get wipers of course. Oh. Sure. We hopped in the car, drove a short distance to the auto parts store, and were faced with a wall of wiper blades. The nifty little computer thingie there told us which ones were correct for my car, and we found them on the wall. Not the cheap ones, though. He wanted me to have the really good ones.
We normally go places in my car. His is a sweet little gas guzzling, more or less two seater, high milage sports car. Mine is a gas sipping (ok, maybe not, but way better than his) sedan with plenty of room in the back for my gangly teenager. He noticed the last time it rained that my wipers weren’t really doing their job very well. He saw rain on the horizon and wanted to fix the problem. He is a doer. He doesn’t talk things to death. He acts. It’s his love language.
Have you read The Five Love Languages ? It’s brilliant. I don’t know about any kind of scientific basis for it, but when you read it, it makes sense. When I was newly divorced and taking a hard look at myself and what kind of person I was, and what I was looking for in a future relationship, I found this book. Call it pop psychology or fluff or whatever you want, but I read it and took something away from it that helped me to understand some of the relationships that I have in my life, not just romantic ones either. It helped me to better understand the dynamic between me and my mother, for example. We don’t speak the same language, love or otherwise, but gaining a little insight certainly has helped me to communicate with her better.
Back to the wipers. He put them on the car, and off we went to the concert. Sure enough it started to rain. “Merry Christmas, baby,” he told me, “these are your stocking stuffer.” I do love this man, and I love how he takes care of me, but clearly he is not a “gifts” guy in the language of love! With each silent pass of the wipers I will hear, “Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas…” and know that I am loved.
December 21, 2013 at 11:04 am
I like gifts like this. It’s not for the wipers but for the meaning behind :o)
December 21, 2013 at 11:36 am
Exactly. I know he wants me to be safe on the road. 🙂
December 21, 2013 at 12:52 pm
December 21, 2013 at 1:48 pm
I think that book talks about the kind of men who can verbalize their love, and others who show it through “service,” so to speak, doing little, thoughtful things which show, indeed, how they feel. My husband is like that (of course I’m verbal!) And makes my breakfast everyday, fills my car with gas (started when I was pregnant, but hey, it’s been over 14 years!), things like that. It took awhile for someone as verbal as me to really “hear” it but now, 21 years later, I do!
December 21, 2013 at 2:17 pm
I think a lot of men tend to be more action oriented. The book goes on to say that we should try to “speak” their language too. I know that small things like making the bed and putting away the dishes mean more to him than telling him I love him.
December 21, 2013 at 8:08 pm
I read that book a long time ago and have heard many ppl gush about it since! Maybe it’s time I reread it. And sounds like you’ve got a keeper – windscreen wipers and the man!! 🙂
December 21, 2013 at 11:17 pm
I am very fortunate, that’s for sure. I think I may reread it too. Time to put some more of its teachings into practice. Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂
December 22, 2013 at 5:06 am
You have a good guy there! You are indeed loved!
December 22, 2013 at 7:59 am
It is a wonderful feeling. It took a long time to find him, but he is a keeper! 🙂
December 23, 2013 at 12:39 pm
I love this book. I wish I had read it before getting married; it might have helped save my marriage.
I am an acts of service gal and as such, I’m absolutely over the moon to finally be with someone who performs those acts not because I nag or beg him to or even ask him to, but because he wants to.
It’s so incredible, it literally makes my heart (and my tingly bits!) flutter when he does something as simple as get new wiper blades. That’s one of the first things he ever did for me when we started dating. And it impressed me so much. It’s amazing to have someone who is a true partner — we always joke that ‘wow, things go fast now with two’ — things like washing the dishes or cleaning the house, lol.
I’m sure that sounds goofy or maybe sad to some of you, but it’s a huge, huge deal. For 10 years I was married to a childish, self-absorbed, immature person who never lifted a finger to help me while I wore myself down to the bone working, caring for our son and our home, and more.
December 23, 2013 at 1:01 pm
We have a lot in common. 🙂 I’m so glad you’re with someone so compatible now. What a difference it makes.
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