Blog stats are a funny thing. They can give a blogger a sense of what people are interested in reading, and they can practically make a blogger (ok, me) giddy when they spike. I want to be read! I also get a kick out of checking out the map. I enjoy it when people from far-flung places visit, even if I suspect the majority of them aren’t actually reading the content.

That being said, I still have to write content that’s worth reading. My dear readers, I know I’ve been missing that mark more times than hitting it lately. What can I say, other than, I’m sorry? I promise to try harder.

Still, you continue to hang with me, and some of you are even getting out your tool belts and rolling up your sleeves to dig around BulgingButtons to unearth some oldies but goodies. I think it’s often the catchy titles that attract readers to start with. Some of the posts with the most hits have odd titles, like “Goodbye Zebra Mules,” and “The Devil, Karma, and Frito Pie.” Hopefully, though, you enjoy more than just the title.

Hopefully you enjoy reading about my daily ups and downs, and the perils of being a fat girl in a skinny (or desperately trying to be skinny) world. Today’s fat girl problem: the shelf. You know, that place along the boob line where dropped food always seems to hit before careening off into the unknown (or just settling there).

As I write, I am wearing yet another shirt with a stain along the shelf. Why? Because salad dressing stains. Yes, I got it on myself while I was at lunch with my friend. The food never goes straight down when it falls off the fork (and why exactly does it fall off the fork in the first place? I don’t know). It invariably hits the shelf and leaves a tell-tale mark, which, 90% of the time leaves a stain.

This is why fat women wear prints. The stains are far less noticeable on a print than they are on a field of solid lavender (like the shirt I have most recently stained). This is also why this fat girl hates to spend much on shirts or dresses. About 1 in 5 never make it past the first wearing. 20% people! This is a distressingly high statistic. It’s alarming, really.

What can be done? I don’t know. A better fork? Less messy food? IV fluids only? It seems like there are some options out there. This problem needs a solution, and it needs it fast, because I’m running out of clothes, and I really don’t want to go shopping.