BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl

Five Strategies to Make Your Blog Utterly Forgettable

4 Comments




6a00d834548d0869e2017d3e61371c970c-piEvery blogger hopes to reach readers who will enjoy and hopefully use the content they offer. Bloggers imagine reaching people throughout the world with their wit and wisdom, and they find it rewarding when those readers offer constructive feedback. At least I think they do. I do, anyway.

It takes many of us a little while to get into the groove of blogging, and even then there are good days and bad days. I’ve made plenty of mistakes blogging, and I’m sure I will make many more. In hopes that someone can learn from my pitfalls, I offer you my tongue-in-cheek blogging advice.

Here are five surefire ways to make your blog utterly forgettable.

1. Post boring content in a boring way. Yep, send your readers straight to snoozetown, and you can be pretty sure they won’t be coming back for more anytime soon. Being completely self-absorbed is an excellent way to achieve this goal. So is colorless writing. Feel free to drone on about any old thing for as long as you like.

2. Skip proof-reading. No matter how many times I proof-read before I hit the submit button, I always miss something. So what? Who cares if my words are a mess? Readers will more or less get the idea of what I meant. Spelling is overrated, anyway.

3. Write too much. Just write whatever pops in your head and don’t bother to edit or reread it. More is always better, right?

4. Talk down to your readers. Assume that you know way more than they do about everything, and don’t expect to learn anything from them. In fact, don’t even invite them into the conversation. That’ll show them!

5. Along the same lines, ignore your readers. Post every now and then, if you feel like it. And comments? No need to answer those. People just wanted to let you know they were there. You don’t owe them the courtesy of a reply. You already gave them a blogpost. What do people want from you, anyway? Sheesh!

Author: BulgingButtons

I'm a middle aged woman doing the things that middle aged women do and trying not to beat myself up. I'm living the life I choose with the man I love, the teenage son who impresses me all the time, and the most adorable pup ever rescued from the euthanasia list. We live in the heat of the Southwest, where I regularly sweat through my Lane Bryant bras.

4 thoughts on “Five Strategies to Make Your Blog Utterly Forgettable

  1. Another: post erratically, and then when you do, breathlessly apologize for being “late.” Because we were all sittin’ here waiting for you, checking our clocks, wondering where the hell you were… HEY, when blogging is a priority, we blog. When it isn’t, we don’t. NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE! (Sorry, pet peeve of mine.)

    So hell yeah, good list. Thanks for the smile. I’m awake way too late, and this was a good read.

  2. Ha ha ha ha! This was a good one and though written quite tongue-in-cheek is very true. I turn off from reading blogs with writers who talk down to me or take too long to get to the point. Readers are super busy and our poor posts are up against a million e-mails, two million chats, a gazillion YouTube videos and a never ending Life To Do List. So yeah, bore me and I’m outta here. Thanks for the smile though; very very nicely done 🙂 🙂 🙂

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