Every blogger hopes to reach readers who will enjoy and hopefully use the content they offer. Bloggers imagine reaching people throughout the world with their wit and wisdom, and they find it rewarding when those readers offer constructive feedback. At least I think they do. I do, anyway.
It takes many of us a little while to get into the groove of blogging, and even then there are good days and bad days. I’ve made plenty of mistakes blogging, and I’m sure I will make many more. In hopes that someone can learn from my pitfalls, I offer you my tongue-in-cheek blogging advice.
Here are five surefire ways to make your blog utterly forgettable.
1. Post boring content in a boring way. Yep, send your readers straight to snoozetown, and you can be pretty sure they won’t be coming back for more anytime soon. Being completely self-absorbed is an excellent way to achieve this goal. So is colorless writing. Feel free to drone on about any old thing for as long as you like.
2. Skip proof-reading. No matter how many times I proof-read before I hit the submit button, I always miss something. So what? Who cares if my words are a mess? Readers will more or less get the idea of what I meant. Spelling is overrated, anyway.
3. Write too much. Just write whatever pops in your head and don’t bother to edit or reread it. More is always better, right?
4. Talk down to your readers. Assume that you know way more than they do about everything, and don’t expect to learn anything from them. In fact, don’t even invite them into the conversation. That’ll show them!
5. Along the same lines, ignore your readers. Post every now and then, if you feel like it. And comments? No need to answer those. People just wanted to let you know they were there. You don’t owe them the courtesy of a reply. You already gave them a blogpost. What do people want from you, anyway? Sheesh!