May | 2015 | BulgingButtons

May 9, 2015
by BulgingButtons 6 Comments

The Back Butt

Today I got brave and got into the swimming pool for the first time this season. Usually that milestone occurs in late April, but the weather has been a little odd this year (in a wonderful way, I wouldn’t change it!).

This is not actually me. I’m not a redhead.

I really should have waited just a bit longer. My pool doesn’t have a heater, and it was COLD. I’m not sure how cold, because I didn’t feel like retrieving the thermometer to find out, since it wasn’t conveniently located next to the edge of the pool. Trust me, though, it was cold.

Usually when you get into a pool you wait to “get used to” the water temperature. Today I just waited to get numb.

Needless to say, I didn’t last long in the water, but I did go in up to my waist, so that’s an accomplishment. I’m looking forward to warmer water and the chance to start walking my laps again. I enjoy walking in the pool, in fact water exercise is about the only exercise I actually like.

I desperately need that exercise, too, as I realized when I was changing out of my swimsuit. I have the bathroom of a thousand mirrors, so no matter how hard I try NOT to see myself in there, I can’t help it. Not only that, but I get the weirdest views. Today it was of my back as I slid my arms through my bra straps. Oh my. I glanced up to be greeted by the sight of what appeared to be a whole second butt, right between my bra straps. My back has gotten so fat that the ridge along my spine looks just like a butt crack, surrounded by fleshy cheeks. Ew. I was at once horrified and strangely fascinated by this turn of events. When did it happen? Can I make it stop? Is it visible through my clothes? And ew again.

So there you have it, the revolting discovery of the day along with the realization that while swimsuit season is a nightmare for me, I need it more than ever.

May 8, 2015
by BulgingButtons 2 Comments

Don’t Tell Me I Can’t Love This Book

I recently read a book that really spoke to me. Actually, that’s not strong enough. I fell in love with it. I hated to leave it when I had to, and I kept thinking about picking it back up in my free moments. It was beautiful.

That book took me places I had never been, yet it made those places familiar and comfortable. As I read, the book transported my heart too, and I felt as though I were living someone else’s life, at least for a little while.

It sounds magical, doesn’t it? It was. In fact it was an almost spiritual experience. I read and read and read and didn’t want the story to end. Sadly, though, like all books, it eventually came to a close. A lovely, satisfying close, but a close all the same. How unfortunate.

So why would anyone tell me that I couldn’t love this book?

Well, there are a few reasons that come to mind. First off, it’s technically not a story for adults. It’s not my story. It’s not my life. It’s not my history or my culture or my race or my religion. But does that matter?

As a writer, I hope that my readers can find some connection to the stories I tell. I hope that something on the page resonates with them. As I writer I don’t care that your history and mine are different. I want you to immerse yourself in mine, and see if any of it feels familiar. If it does, great, we may share some sort of connection. If it doesn’t, that’s fine too. We compare our experiences and make note of their similarities and differences.

I was a young girl growing up during the same era as the author. I chewed Bubble Yum. I listened to the O’Jays on the radio. I remember hearing about babies suffering the damaging effects of eating lead paint. I wondered why a baby would eat paint. I loved my grandparents and I made friends in school. My life was not so different in so many ways, but our paths were light-years apart. I thank her for showing me her world, and doing it so beautifully.

Don’t tell me I can’t love this book. I already do.

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The book, of course, is Jacqueline Woodson’s Brown Girl Dreaming, and it is stunning.

May 7, 2015
by BulgingButtons 6 Comments

Throwback Thursday – School Trouble

My son is a good kid. A very good kid. He generally does what he’s supposed to do and helps out when and where he can. I know this about him. Nobody has to tell me he’s wonderful, but they do anyway. His teachers always tell me what a great student he is, and how much they enjoy having him in class. I’ve heard the same types of comments from people with whom he’s worked. I agree.

Good kid or not, though, he’s isn’t perfect.

This week he messed up. He made a poor decision and he got caught. He didn’t harm anyone but himself, but his dad and I are disappointed. He’s disappointed in himself. He knew he made a mistake right away and he’s facing the music. I’m so glad he’s taking ownership of the situation and not trying to make excuses or blame someone else. That would have been so much harder to deal with.

Like I said, he’s a good kid. In fact, this is only the second time he’s ever gotten into any kind of trouble in school. The last time it happened was in the first grade. He’s seventeen now.

Back in first grade, the kids sat together at tables. Long story short, he and his buddy Kyle got caught writing on the table. My son swears he was trying to erase K’s writing, and frankly I tend to believe him, because he was such a rule follower. I can see how he might have thought he was fixing the problem, but his teacher didn’t see it that way. Continue reading →