BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


Leave a comment

I’m Worried About This Weather

Don’t get me wrong… it’s gorgeous. It’s finally starting to get a bit cooler in my area (no more heat advisories at school, so kids can have outdoor recess at last). I’m happy about not feeling like my skin is frying and my lungs are shriveling up after a few minutes outside. A whole new section of my wardrobe is becoming accessible with the cooler weather, and I can wear my favorite NFL team’s shirt (which happens to be long sleeved) without completely roasting. These are all excellent developments. So what’s the issue? The pool.

You see, everyday for the past four months I have put on my swimsuit and gotten in the pool to exercise. Okay, not everyday. I missed ONE day when I was out of town and the weather was bad, but every OTHER day I’ve done it. Not only that, but I’ve really enjoyed it. AND, as an added bonus, my current lab work showed that it has made a positive impact on my health (as well as helping me painlessly shed a few pounds). My doctor’s parting words were something to the effect of, “Keep it up!” Gulp.

I want to keep it up. I really do. I actually enjoy this time to myself in my backyard. I look forward to it each day. But over the past few days I’ve notice the water getting increasingly cooler. My pool doesn’t have a heater. What was really enjoyable is becoming more difficult to do. Pretty soon that water is going to be too cold to enter. Then what?

Join a gym? No thank you. Walking around in a bathing suit in my own backyard is no problem, but in a public place? Nope. And sharing the pool with people who no doubt are there to actually swim can be problematic. I know. I used to be a lifeguard (you know, wearing a bathing suit in a public place).

Head up to mom’s condo? Their pool is heated, or at least it’s supposed to be. And in the 40 plus years that I’ve been visiting that place (including the two brief times when I lived there) the pool has been vastly underutilized. Really, it’s not the worst idea, but the distance, traffic, and horrible neighbor who has nothing better to do than harass people make this option less than ideal.

Use my friend’s community pool? It’s pretty close, and she says it’s heated, but I would have to get her scanning device to get in each time (I guess they’re pretty high tech over there) and the thought of driving home in a wet bathing suit is really unappealing. Brrrrr.

Get a wet suit? Don’t laugh. I’ve researched this option, and I know that they do make them for virtually every size and shape of body, but it’s a pretty big investment for something that I don’t really want to deal with. And apparently if you don’t get the right size it really doesn’t keep you warm. It’s supposed to be very snug when you first put it on. I imagine it’s like trying to squeeze a sausage into its casing. And do they dry in a day? I’m not sure. And where exactly do you keep it? I’m still on the fence with this one.

So there you have it. My dilemma. I know. I should just do a different kind of exercise. Of course. But this is the first time in my life (EVER) that I’ve found an exercise routine that I enjoy and that I’ve been able to stick with. So wish me luck, and a few more days of warm weather.


6 Comments

The Back Butt

Today I got brave and got into the swimming pool for the first time this season. Usually that milestone occurs in late April, but the weather has been a little odd this year (in a wonderful way, I wouldn’t change it!).

This is not actually me. I'm not a redhead.

This is not actually me. I’m not a redhead.

I really should have waited just a bit longer. My pool doesn’t have a heater, and it was COLD. I’m not sure how cold, because I didn’t feel like retrieving the thermometer to find out, since it wasn’t conveniently located next to the edge of the pool. Trust me, though, it was cold.

Usually when you get into a pool you wait to “get used to” the water temperature. Today I just waited to get numb.

Needless to say, I didn’t last long in the water, but I did go in up to my waist, so that’s an accomplishment. I’m looking forward to warmer water and the chance to start walking my laps again. I enjoy walking in the pool, in fact water exercise is about the only exercise I actually like.

I desperately need that exercise, too, as I realized when I was changing out of my swimsuit. I have the bathroom of a thousand mirrors, so no matter how hard I try NOT to see myself in there, I can’t help it. Not only that, but I get the weirdest views. Today it was of my back as I slid my arms through my bra straps. Oh my. I glanced up to be greeted by the sight of what appeared to be a whole second butt, right between my bra straps. My back has gotten so fat that the ridge along my spine looks just like a butt crack, surrounded by fleshy cheeks. Ew. I was at once horrified and strangely fascinated by this turn of events. When did it happen? Can I make it stop? Is it visible through my clothes? And ew again.

So there you have it, the revolting discovery of the day along with the realization that while swimsuit season is a nightmare for me, I need it more than ever.


4 Comments

Chaos in My Corner of the World

The Replacement Bulb

The Replacement Bulb

Did you know that halogen lightbulbs for pools installed in 1996 are difficult to come by? They are. There is one of them available in the United States right now, and it is currently in Dallas, Texas. I, however,  am not currently in Dallas, Texas. It doesn’t matter though. I need that bulb. The bulb alone costs about $35.00, and then there’s the shipping cost. Of course if I want it in a hurry, it will cost more.

I have lived in this house for a little over two years and have never had a functioning pool light. Apparently I’ve been living on the edge, because this is a hazard, according to the inspection that was done on the house. It wasn’t a hazard back when my inspector looked at it, but now it is, and it’s up to me to remedy this situation so that my buyer doesn’t stub his toes in the dark when he goes night swimming. Having this responsibility makes me feel important, like I have a civic duty to keep my fellow human being safe from this apparently very real threat.

Why is it that when I’m the seller I have to bend over backward to change and fix everything, but when I’m the buyer I’m lucky if the air conditioning even works? The kicker is the house I’m selling is priced considerably less than the one I’m buying! Still, I’m really excited to say that I’m buying my next house. I found it last Friday, looked at it again on Sunday, and wrote an offer last night. This morning it was accepted. HOORAY! There are lots of good things about it, and a few things that are less great, but right now we’re not going there. Right now we’re trying to get out of THIS house. That means fixing a few things and packing a lot of things (well, everything actually) and doing lots of chores, like calling the utilities and setting up a forwarding address. What a pain.

I’m trying to remain calm and take things one step at a time. It’s tough, though, when all progress seems to grind to a halt over a single lightbulb (that I went to four stores to locate, then called two other places before, hopefully, finding it in Dallas). Hopefully the bulb issue will be resolved shortly, so that we can figure out why the new bathroom faucet is leaking. One step at a time. One step at a time.