BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


6 Comments

The Back Butt

Today I got brave and got into the swimming pool for the first time this season. Usually that milestone occurs in late April, but the weather has been a little odd this year (in a wonderful way, I wouldn’t change it!).

This is not actually me. I'm not a redhead.

This is not actually me. I’m not a redhead.

I really should have waited just a bit longer. My pool doesn’t have a heater, and it was COLD. I’m not sure how cold, because I didn’t feel like retrieving the thermometer to find out, since it wasn’t conveniently located next to the edge of the pool. Trust me, though, it was cold.

Usually when you get into a pool you wait to “get used to” the water temperature. Today I just waited to get numb.

Needless to say, I didn’t last long in the water, but I did go in up to my waist, so that’s an accomplishment. I’m looking forward to warmer water and the chance to start walking my laps again. I enjoy walking in the pool, in fact water exercise is about the only exercise I actually like.

I desperately need that exercise, too, as I realized when I was changing out of my swimsuit. I have the bathroom of a thousand mirrors, so no matter how hard I try NOT to see myself in there, I can’t help it. Not only that, but I get the weirdest views. Today it was of my back as I slid my arms through my bra straps. Oh my. I glanced up to be greeted by the sight of what appeared to be a whole second butt, right between my bra straps. My back has gotten so fat that the ridge along my spine looks just like a butt crack, surrounded by fleshy cheeks. Ew. I was at once horrified and strangely fascinated by this turn of events. When did it happen? Can I make it stop? Is it visible through my clothes? And ew again.

So there you have it, the revolting discovery of the day along with the realization that while swimsuit season is a nightmare for me, I need it more than ever.


4 Comments

Chaos in My Corner of the World

The Replacement Bulb

The Replacement Bulb

Did you know that halogen lightbulbs for pools installed in 1996 are difficult to come by? They are. There is one of them available in the United States right now, and it is currently in Dallas, Texas. I, however,  am not currently in Dallas, Texas. It doesn’t matter though. I need that bulb. The bulb alone costs about $35.00, and then there’s the shipping cost. Of course if I want it in a hurry, it will cost more.

I have lived in this house for a little over two years and have never had a functioning pool light. Apparently I’ve been living on the edge, because this is a hazard, according to the inspection that was done on the house. It wasn’t a hazard back when my inspector looked at it, but now it is, and it’s up to me to remedy this situation so that my buyer doesn’t stub his toes in the dark when he goes night swimming. Having this responsibility makes me feel important, like I have a civic duty to keep my fellow human being safe from this apparently very real threat.

Why is it that when I’m the seller I have to bend over backward to change and fix everything, but when I’m the buyer I’m lucky if the air conditioning even works? The kicker is the house I’m selling is priced considerably less than the one I’m buying! Still, I’m really excited to say that I’m buying my next house. I found it last Friday, looked at it again on Sunday, and wrote an offer last night. This morning it was accepted. HOORAY! There are lots of good things about it, and a few things that are less great, but right now we’re not going there. Right now we’re trying to get out of THIS house. That means fixing a few things and packing a lot of things (well, everything actually) and doing lots of chores, like calling the utilities and setting up a forwarding address. What a pain.

I’m trying to remain calm and take things one step at a time. It’s tough, though, when all progress seems to grind to a halt over a single lightbulb (that I went to four stores to locate, then called two other places before, hopefully, finding it in Dallas). Hopefully the bulb issue will be resolved shortly, so that we can figure out why the new bathroom faucet is leaking. One step at a time. One step at a time.