A while back I read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It really was a while ago, because I bought the singles edition, and I’ve been engaged for the past two years (no hurry, but that’s a whole other post). Tonight I was clearly reminded of this book’s premise by my sweetheart. No, he hasn’t read it, it was in his actions.
You see, Chapman asserts that we all have a love language with which we are most comfortable. We tend to show others our love though that language, and we prefer to receive the love of others in that same way. The languages, as he defines them, are Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Of course most people enjoy all of those types of interactions with their loved ones, but generally one of them stands out. For my sweetheart, it’s Acts of Service.
He shows his love through doing things for me, like changing the wiper blades on my car and repairing the dryer. Yes, these are practical things, but they are things that make my life better, and I appreciate that he does them. I also have to remember that he feels loved when I perform acts of service too. Simple things like cleaning up the kitchen or vacuuming make him very happy.
Tonight he proved, once again, that he’s an Acts of Service guy. I mentioned to him, rather late in the evening, that I thought I might be getting a bladder infection. TMI? Sorry. Being the sensitive man he it, he knew that cranberry juice is the first line of defense against such a problem. He immediately left the house to get me some, bringing back two large bottles and a six-pack of small ones I could take with me on the go. As soon as he got home he got out a glass, filled it with ice, and presented me with the elixir of health. Now if that’s not a display of love, I don’t know what is.
Maybe some people this book is pop psychology or new age nonsense, but it made very good sense to me. I think I’ll reread it before I go on vacation with my extended family. Maybe I’ll be able to use some of the information it contains to keep things running smoothly with all the people I love.
How do you show love? How do you like it to be shown to you?
June 10, 2015 at 4:50 am
For both me and Jim, all are important except gifts. And even that… the other day he was going to the hardware store. I said, “bring something back for me!” ??? That was weird. While we occasionally buy things for each other, it isn’t a regular or expected thing. He asked what I wanted. Well, what could I get from the hardware store? I suggested maybe they’d have honey-roasted peanuts near the register. That’s what he got me.
June 10, 2015 at 6:41 am
Yes, I think that most people respond well to all of them, just to a greater or lesser degree. It’s all those little things, even the occasional bag of nuts, that keep us feeling loved!
September 14, 2015 at 6:55 am
Awesome 🙂 Having him refill the hot water bottle (when the UTI is well established) in the middle of the night is a good thing too!
September 14, 2015 at 7:54 am
Exactly! Sounds like a keeper. 🙂