I hardly know how to begin.

I’ve written the first sentence and deleted it at least four times.

I’m ashamed. Embarrassed. Filled with doubts and fears.

Doubts that any of my dear readers are still around after I’ve more or less abandoned you. Afraid that I’ve damaged my own reputation by disappearing.

The flip side of that, of course, is the realization that there probably aren’t too many people (if any) who have actually noticed that the blog has gone quiet.

Oh sure, my personal Facebook friends are probably relieved that they haven’t had to scroll past my announcements over the past several days, but in terms of actually missing my ramblings, I don’t think there’s anyone out there who has been wondering what I’ve been up to. Still, I’m going to enlighten you.

Not much.

Naturally that’s not entirely true, but not much that’s particularly earth shattering.

I’ve been drawing into myself, and I don’t necessarily think that’s entirely a bad thing. I’ve been taking care of myself, eating well, and keeping up with my visits to the nutritionist. In fact I’m down almost twenty pounds over the last six weeks.

I’ve also been crazy busy at work, well until last Friday when my fall break began. There were report cards to prepare and parent-teacher conferences to hold and post-break lessons to plan, so it was a rough week. Still, it ended several days ago, so I suppose I could have gotten off Pinterest, closed the book I’m reading (Wild, by Cheryl Strayed), and started writing. Obviously I didn’t.

What I’ve done instead is immerse myself in the world of a high school student who is preparing to apply to college. It seems that our home life has become dominated by talk of SAT’s and college fairs, common apps and scholarship opportunities. Essays are being composed and websites are being scoured. We’re having lots of conversations about making choices and setting priorities. Today my son decided on the five universities he would like to apply to. I think he’s made good choices based on his interests, talents, disposition, and career goals. I’m proud of him. Any one of those five institutions will help him to achieve his goals, and I think he would be a good candidate for all of them.

Frankly, I’ve been having a little trouble with this phase of his life. His high school experience is completely different from mine. He doesn’t go to parties, he doesn’t drive, and I always know where he is. I’m grateful that he’s a much better behaved kid than I ever was, but I think it will make the inevitable separation that much more difficult. Frankly my parents were probably relieved when it was time for me to go away to college. I dread it with my son, but I know he’ll be ready. At least I hope he will. Still, it’s not going to be easy.