Not bad for a fat girl

Confessions of a Cooped Up Teacher 3

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Day 11: March 30, 2020

So I’ve decided to only count the weekdays, although I’m cooped up for all the days, but the weekend days kind of don’t count, do they? I don’t know. I may have to revisit this thinking, but for now they don’t count. I kind of wish they did, though, because truthfully it’s been 24 days since I’ve seen my kiddos and taught in my classroom. So day 11? Not really. The first week was Spring Break, so not seeing the kiddos was planned. So was going back to school. Obviously that didn’t happen.

Our governor announced today that schools would be closed for the remainder of the school year. We still don’t know what that means in terms of distance (i.e. online) learning, expectations of teachers and other staff members, and, well, we don’t know much. We do know that state testing isn’t happening this year. Well, that makes sense. We also know that teachers are supposed to continue to get paid. Well, I hope so. We’re continuing to work, that’s for sure. Not in the way that our healthcare workers, truckers, food supply chain people, police, fire, emt, utility workers, and so on, but we are working.crop635w_4-tips-for-nervous-test-takers.jpg

Parents, I know that this is awful. The disruption to your life is unprecedented. I get it. It’s happening to me too. I didn’t plan for this to happen, and I’m certainly not celebrating it. In fact, I’m pretty scared.

Today the superintendent of public instruction sent out an email to educators in our state offering thanks and encouragement. The email also linked to resources for our mental health. Obviously, my teammates and I aren’t the only ones having a rough time.

I wish we could all take a collective step back, and take a moment to clear our heads. Unfortunately this current reality doesn’t seem to afford that moment, despite the promise that it might. I don’t know about you, but I’m either overwhelmed with all the things I should be doing (lesson plans, family outreach, setting up new accounts for kids with various websites, figuring out how to hold meaningful live online sessions) or I’m inert. There isn’t much in-between for calm and reflection. This moment, right now, as I write, is just that. Maybe that’s why I haven’t been writing as much. Maybe that reflection is too frightening for me to spend too much time with.

This thing. This virus. This disease it causes. This worldwide disruption it causes. This fear and doubt and uncertainty and growing sense of dread. I don’t want it. I don’t want any of it. I’m scared and anxious, so I’ll continue to soldier on and share funny memes and find interesting things for my students to do, and keep on keeping on. At least that’s the plan for now.

Be well, friends.

Author: BulgingButtons

I'm a middle aged woman doing the things that middle aged women do and trying not to beat myself up. I'm living the life I choose with the man I love, the grown up son who impresses me all the time, and the most adorable pup ever rescued from the euthanasia list. We live in the heat of the Southwest, where I regularly sweat through my Lane Bryant bras.

One thought on “Confessions of a Cooped Up Teacher 3

  1. Closing schools for the rest of the school year is certainly a drastic measure. I assume the school year in America is the end of May? Here is South Africa schools closed for the Autumn break three days earlier and will not open until further notice. Tough times we live in! Our school year ends in December.
    May this crisis end soon!

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