BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


2 Comments

Shut Up and Dance

From some of my favorite movies.

How many of the movies can you name? Please add them to the comments.


6 Comments

The Back Butt

Today I got brave and got into the swimming pool for the first time this season. Usually that milestone occurs in late April, but the weather has been a little odd this year (in a wonderful way, I wouldn’t change it!).

This is not actually me. I'm not a redhead.

This is not actually me. I’m not a redhead.

I really should have waited just a bit longer. My pool doesn’t have a heater, and it was COLD. I’m not sure how cold, because I didn’t feel like retrieving the thermometer to find out, since it wasn’t conveniently located next to the edge of the pool. Trust me, though, it was cold.

Usually when you get into a pool you wait to “get used to” the water temperature. Today I just waited to get numb.

Needless to say, I didn’t last long in the water, but I did go in up to my waist, so that’s an accomplishment. I’m looking forward to warmer water and the chance to start walking my laps again. I enjoy walking in the pool, in fact water exercise is about the only exercise I actually like.

I desperately need that exercise, too, as I realized when I was changing out of my swimsuit. I have the bathroom of a thousand mirrors, so no matter how hard I try NOT to see myself in there, I can’t help it. Not only that, but I get the weirdest views. Today it was of my back as I slid my arms through my bra straps. Oh my. I glanced up to be greeted by the sight of what appeared to be a whole second butt, right between my bra straps. My back has gotten so fat that the ridge along my spine looks just like a butt crack, surrounded by fleshy cheeks. Ew. I was at once horrified and strangely fascinated by this turn of events. When did it happen? Can I make it stop? Is it visible through my clothes? And ew again.

So there you have it, the revolting discovery of the day along with the realization that while swimsuit season is a nightmare for me, I need it more than ever.


Leave a comment

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Full Moon.”

When the full moon happens, you turn into a person who’s the opposite of who you normally are. Describe this new you.full-moon-on-cloudy-night-wide

Here it is, the full moon again. I both love and loathe this celestial ritual. I love that I transform into the slim, svelte, sleek, and gorgeous woman who the lunar cycle unleashes. I love that she is powerful and confident and has no trouble demanding, and getting, exactly what she wants. I love that she is strong, healthy, and fit. I love that she listens to her inner voice and makes her decisions based on her innermost desires. But there is a downside, too.

Although she has always been a part of me, this woman is still a stranger to me. We are opposites in every way imaginable. That’s why I despise her every bit as much as I admire her. She shuns my family and leaves on her own, following her whims without regard for anyone’s feelings. She is unreliable, but her confidence and overall competence generally make people forget her slights. Frankly, she doesn’t care if they do or not. She is so self-absorbed that it makes no difference what anyone thinks of her.

Still, she takes time and care with her appearance, and it pays off. People notice her, and she enjoys every minute of their attention. She thrives in the spotlight and hates to share it with anyone. She over-extends her credit cards to buy the newest shoes and clothes. Paying the bills isn’t her job, so why should she worry about it? She is a trend-setter, a crowd-pleaser, and a woman-about-town.  She is exhausting, and I’m glad she doesn’t stay long, but in the end I cannot deny her, after all, she is me.