Who do you think Dad was watching, the guy in white or the woman?

I used to tell people I didn’t watch much television, and I believed I was telling the truth. Growing up, there wasn’t much on, and my parents weren’t big fans of t.v., aside from the evening news. Not until Dukes of Hazzard came along, anyway. Then my father watched that. He claimed it was because his former high school classmate played Boss Hogg, but I think it may have had something to do with Daisy Duke.

During my college years there wasn’t much time for t.v., and I didn’t have one anyway. I did, however, find time to watch Guiding Light for an hour every weekday afternoon in my friends’ dorm room for an entire year. What a waste of time, but we loved crazy Annabelle and scheming Reba and rebellious Roxy, not to mention that hunky Josh. I can still picture him.

After college I met my future ex-husband, and he was all about sports. He loved t.v. but it was ESPN all the time. After being exposed to it for a while, I could spout off scores and stats and random information about random teams like nobody’s business. Still, I rarely just sat down to watch.

Later on, as a new mom, I discovered a little thing called HGTV. Now that I could get into. I watched Room By Room as the perky hosts put up duck decoy wallpaper borders and built curio cabinets that looked like standing up canoes. I expanded my horizons and added TLC to my lineup, taking in such shows as Trading Spaces and What Not to Wear. I had officially become a t.v. watcher.

Stacy London and Clinton Kelly told us What Not to Wear

Times changed again, and I lived alone with my son for a while. We didn’t watch a whole lot of t.v. then. He played video games, and we played board games and built legos and played with our dog. T.V. was there, but it was usually turned off.

Fast forward a bit, and I met my sweetheart. T.V. came back into my life. No more HGTV for me, it bugs him that people are so dissatisfied with their circumstances that they are constantly looking to “upgrade” or change their surroundings. I never looked at it like that, but I’ve watched enough of those shows to last me a lifetime, and I don’t miss them.

Now I have several shows that I watch and enjoy, and frankly it’s starting to cramp my style. On Monday I have Dancing With the Stars and Lucifer. I can’t watch them both on the same night, so Lucifer usually gets bumped to Tuesday, since I’m not as likely to encounter a spoiler for it. We also watch The Middle (yay for a realistic house full of mess!), Modern Family, Mom, The Real O’Neals, and American Ninja Warrior. Oh, and don’t forget Big Bang Theory. Then there are the “educational” shows, Star Talk and Drunk History. That makes for a lot of television viewing, more than I’ve ever watched in my life.

I do appreciate the DVR. We fast forward through commercials, so we don’t waste quite as much time. Still, it’s a lot, and that doesn’t even include the Hallmark channel Christmas lineup. How on earth am I ever going to get any writing done if I watch all of these shows?

My Ninja Warrior hero, badass Jessie Graff.

The answer is simple, but sort of sad. I can’t. Something has to give, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be t.v. See you later, Star Talk. Bye for now, Drunk History. Toodle loo, Modern Family. I have a novel to write, and I just don’t have time for you this month.

Which shows are your favorites? If you could only watch one what would it be? I would choose American Ninja Warrior. Those Ninjas impress and inspire me.