Family | BulgingButtons

June 9, 2015
by BulgingButtons 4 Comments

Acts of Service – The Five Love Languages

A while back I read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It really was a while ago, because I bought the singles edition, and I’ve been engaged for the past two years (no hurry, but that’s a whole other post). Tonight I was clearly reminded of this book’s premise by my sweetheart. No, he hasn’t read it, it was in his actions.

You see, Chapman asserts that we all have a love language with which we are most comfortable. We tend to show others our love though that language, and we prefer to receive the love of others in that same way. The languages, as he defines them, are Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Of course most people enjoy all of those types of interactions with their loved ones, but generally one of them stands out. For my sweetheart, it’s Acts of Service.

He shows his love through doing things for me, like changing the wiper blades on my car and repairing the dryer. Yes, these are practical things, but they are things that make my life better, and I appreciate that he does them. I also have to remember that he feels loved when I perform acts of service too. Simple things like cleaning up the kitchen or vacuuming make him very happy.

Tonight he proved, once again, that he’s an Acts of Service guy. I mentioned to him, rather late in the evening, that I thought I might be getting a bladder infection. TMI? Sorry. Being the sensitive man he it, he knew that cranberry juice is the first line of defense against such a problem. He immediately left the house to get me some, bringing back two large bottles and a six-pack of small ones I could take with me on the go. As soon as he got home he got out a glass, filled it with ice, and presented me with the elixir of health. Now if that’s not a display of love, I don’t know what is.

Maybe some people this book is pop psychology or new age nonsense, but it made very good sense to me. I think I’ll reread it before I go on vacation with my extended family. Maybe I’ll be able to use some of the information it contains to keep things running smoothly with all the people I love.

How do you show love? How do you like it to be shown to you?

June 3, 2015
by BulgingButtons 6 Comments

My Real Fear of Flying

I’m going on vacation in a few weeks, and I’m very excited about it. I’ll see friends and family, and I’ll go to the beach and a couple of parties. I’ll celebrate my birthday and the Fourth of July and generally have a great time. I know all of this. But I’m dreading going.

Why?

The flight.

The last time I was on a plane was back in January, on my way home from London. It was a glorious trip, but the flying was not fun. I was squished, and I’m sure I squished my sweet, ever-patient son, who was stuck next to me. He will once again be stuck next to me, and we will both, once again, be squished, but this time it’s not just the discomfort that has me worried. It’s the seatbelt.

I’m afraid, that for the first time ever, I won’t be able to buckle it.

I was hardly skinny back in January, and I’m even less so now. What if it doesn’t fit? What if I have to request an extender? Will I die of embarrassment? Will my son?

I have a couple of weeks. Maybe there’s time to make a dent. It’s worth a try.

May 22, 2015
by BulgingButtons 6 Comments

The Last Day of School

At 12:45 this afternoon another school year will officially close. The student work has been sent home, the desks have been washed, the report cards have been printed and stuffed in envelopes. All that’s left to do today is reflect on the year, participate in the annual 5th graders v. teacher’s kickball game, and watch a movie. It should be a breeze.

In my own childhood, the last day of school was an exciting day. I don’t remember too many particulars, but there may have been popsicles involved. I loved school as a kid, but I loved summer vacation too. The long lazy days, the weeks of summer camp, and the feeling of freedom were priceless. What kid wouldn’t love summer vacation?

Sadly, there are kids who don’t. These are the kids who aren’t going to summer camp. Their families aren’t going on vacation, and the feeling of freedom is more like a feeling of abandonment. These kids rely on school for structure, consistency, and in some cases, two meals a day. They are the ones that are quiet as the others buzz about their upcoming trips to San Diego or Wisconsin or Disneyland. Their grandparents won’t be coming to visit, they won’t be going camping, and nobody is going to sign them up for the library’s summer reading program. No swimming lessons, no soccer teams, no arts and crafts. These kids will watch a lot of tv and become bored quickly.

The adults in their lives have limited resources. In many families there are shortages. There are shortages of money, of time, and of energy. There are kids in households run by adults who are ill equipped to care for them. Adults with substance abuse problems, mental illnesses, and insane work schedules. There are kids in group homes and kids living with grandparents and even great grandparents who simply don’t have the energy for them. I’m not saying these kids are unloved, most of them are, but their homes are often chaotic and unpredictable. There may be drug or alcohol abuse in the home, there may be violence. Kids see and hear more than we realize, and it affects them.

Most of my students are excited about summer vacation, and I’m glad. They have worked hard all year and they deserve some down time to just be kids with no pressure to achieve and perform. My wish for the summer is that all kids have fun and stimulating experiences with people who are genuinely concerned about their well being and are equipped to care for them. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find my sneakers, I have a kickball game to play.