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Not bad for a fat girl


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Why Being Fat Sucks – Round Two

(Another one from the archives. Enjoy, or cringe…)

Seriously, it’s no fun. Here’s the next installment in the being fat sucks series (see part one here).

 

1. Socks dig into your legs.

2. Your bra side panels sometimes get sucked into the caverns created by your back fat.

3. You have to strategically plan your path through a crowded room.

Trust me, the fat woman is mortified.

Trust me, the fat woman is mortified.

4. You bump into every single person along the aisle of the airplane as you walk by.

5. What looks cute on your friends looks absurd on you.

6. Getting out of bed is literally the first challenge of the day.

7. You learn to avoid mirrors, thus failing to notice spinach in your teeth and other ugly details.

8. Your seatbelt never sits quite right so you’re always adjusting it.

9. You worry about riding in other people’s cars, also because of the seatbelt issue.

10. Zip-lining? Forget it.

11. You actually read the weight limits on ladders before you step on them.

12. You avoid folding chairs like the plague (and keep your own super duty chair in the car, just in case).

13. You imagine you would kill the poor mule if you were to sign up for the mule ride to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

14. Your feet hurt.

15. You get winded far too quickly.

16. You avoid being in pictures, even of events that you want to remember. When you are in pictures, you dislike what you see.

17. Clothes generally either feel tight or sloppy.

18. Even purse straps seem too small.

19. You feel like servers judge your order in restaurants.

20. The sides of chairs leave marks in your legs when you get up.


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Road Trip!

hollywood-1600x1200My boy and I took off over spring break. Just the two of us. We hit the road, and stayed in a posh “old” Hollywood Hotel that stretched the limits of my budget, but you know what? I didn’t care.

On the way there, we stopped at the Patton Museum out in the California desert. It’s a cool little museum with a massive topographical map of the region and an impressive display of tanks and other military vehicles. My son loved it as much as his father does. I sent his dad some pictures, and he was thrilled that I took him. I’m glad we stopped there. It was informative, and a nice break along the way.

Once in Los Angeles, we spent a day at Universal Studios. We were surprised when we got a sneak peek at the whole Harry Potter section, which isn’t scheduled to open until next month. Boy was it fun! Hogwarts Castle is fantastic, and even though I was too fat to actually ride the roller coaster (yes, it’s true) I still LOVED going through the castle (designed to accommodate a long line, but we zipped through it – in fact we zipped through all the lines).

I felt bad for my son about the fat thing, but he didn’t want to ride without me so he missed a few rides (two in Harry Potter land and the Mummy). We had a blast on just about everything else though, even if I did feel a little squished in most of them. Lucky for me he’s a good sport, and didn’t make me feel bad at all about my fatness. He’s a keeper.

We also did the tourist thing at Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum, and had a ball posing with the wax figures. It was fun to be with him and let our hair down. Superheroes? Got ’em. Pop stars? Yep. Sports figures? Politicians? Actors? They’re all there. AudreyHepburnAtMadameTussaudsHollywoodI had breakfast with Audrey Hepburn and he putted with Tiger Woods. We sent home photos of Forrest Gump and Lawrence of Arabia. I even shelled out for the silly green screen photos they took of us escaping a dinosaur attack.

We also ate on our trip. Boy did we eat. I had a voucher for the hotel, and we ate one “fancy” meal there. Striped bass with vegetables and fried stuffed squash blossoms. Delish. We also had the most delicious burgers at a place that was so good we went twice. And then there was the sundae. Oh. My. Gawd. The Ghiardelli chocolate people have an ice cream parlor right on Hollywood Boulevard, and they have the most heavenly concoctions imaginable. The ingredients are top notch, and the whole experience is a lot of fun. Just thinking about it has me craving another sea salt caramel hot fudge sundae.

doheny-memorial-library-uscThe good news is that we got some exercise too. We hoofed it around the LaBrea Tar Pits, the LA Farmer’s Market, and USC’s campus, not to mention all the miles at Universal Studio and along the Walk of Fame. I even swam laps in the post hotel pool (sight of a Marilyn Monroe photo shoot long ago, I’m told).

I don’t know if it’s the last trip my son and I will get to take together as he prepares to fly the nest, but it was certainly a good one. I’m so glad we splurged and spent a few days living the high life. In the end I won’t remember the cost, just the time spent with my son enjoying each other’s company.


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Welcome to 2016 and Back to Reality

champagne2Another new year. Another holiday season draws to a close. Another time for reflection and another call to action. At least that’s how it usually feels with a brand new year. This year, however, I’m not sure I’m quite feeling it.

At least the call to action, part.

You see, I was doing so well, but then the holidays hit and I learned that I’m losing my nutritionist. I’m sad about that. It reminds me of the time I was doing so well on Jenny Craig (way back in my twenties) until my “consultant” left for a new job. The new person just wasn’t the same, and I lost interest.

Then there was the wonderful chiropractor I lost. Say what you will about chiropractic, but I could walk in with a pounding headache and walk out feeling like a million bucks. He was terrific, and I appreciated both his technique and his personality. I was sad the day he told me he was relocating, and I’ve never found anyone who could match his skill. I’ve given up trying.

I realize I’m being a big baby about this, but I want to keep working with her. I felt empowered and successful and after each visit with her. I felt as though I could carry on the struggle of losing weight in a safe and sane way.

I know that the changes I make in my life have to be made by ME, for ME. I get it. But it’s so nice to feel like I have someone in my corner cheering me on and believing in me.

I have to shake off my boo hoo attitude, drop my holiday mode (lobster, champagne, fudge…) and get on with it. I can do this, even if I have to do it alone.