Health | BulgingButtons

September 18, 2015
by BulgingButtons 2 Comments

The Real F Word

Polite people don’t use the “F” word in everyday conversation, at least not usually. Unless, of course, the “F” word happens to be FAT.

It seems that perfectly ordinary people, who would never point out someone with a physical or developmental disability, feel completely comfortable commenting on how fat other people are. I find this so peculiar. If it’s not polite to say, “Hey, look at that guy, he only has one leg,” or “Check out that woman, she’s using sign language to communicate,” then why would it be okay to say, “Wow, that girl is really fat!”

It’s not just fat people either. Anyone who is “differently sized” is likely to be pointed out. However in our culture thin is seen as desirable, so there’s generally far less venom behind a comment like, “Jeez, she looks like she could blow away in a strong wind.” I’ve actually met women who might take such a comment as an affirmation that they’re doing something right.

The stigma around being fat is so deeply ingrained that fat people shame each other. I’ve done it myself, thinking, “Well, at least I’m not that fat!” But really, who am I to judge?

I try to keep an open mind, and to remember that each of us has our own struggles. What someone is going through on the inside, is impossible to know. It’s also impossible to know where they’ve been. It’s not my business or my right to know each person’s story. Who am I to decide if someone is “okay” being fat while someone else isn’t? I don’t get to decide, and frankly I don’t want to.

Living my own life in a way that is reasonably decent and healthy is enough for me. I have no desire to take on the problems of the world. Let someone else sort out who the “okay” fat people are, because I have no idea what the criteria would be. Response to medication? Imbalanced hormones? Depression? Genetic predisposition? The list goes on.

I don’t care what syndrome or genetic abnormality you might possess. I care what type of person you are. I would hope you feel the same way about me. You should be asking about the “inner” me, not worrying about my body. Isn’t it more important that someone is well meaning? Compassionate? Fun-loving? Loyal? Playful? Creative? Hard-working? All of these traits are worthy of scrutiny. Weight, size, and body fat percentage are not, and should play no role what-so-ever in determining whether we should be friends. Yes, I’m fat. Deal with it.

September 13, 2015
by BulgingButtons 5 Comments

Tidying Up

I’ve been slimming down. Well, perhaps that’s an overstatement, but I have been watching what I eat and I’ve lost a few pounds. I still have a long way to go to get to “slim” and frankly, I don’t know that I’ll ever reach that status, but I am making positive changes.

The decisions that I’ve been making have been based on what works for me, and they are becoming a little bit easier to make. Yes, I still have some bad habits, after all they are deeply ingrained, but I’m making progress. I like looking in my refrigerator and seeing things that I know are good for me.

I like having a pantry with items that provide me with strength, not empty calories.

A super tidy closet. Disclaimer: not mine!

I feel empowered by the control I have over my environment.

Except that I don’t really feel that I have control over my environment at all. The other day I looked around my house, and nearly every flat surface had stuff on it that didn’t belong. I knew it was time to clean it up, in a big way. Imagine how glad I was when the online library I use informed me that The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo was available. People have been buzzing about this book, and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

First of all, it was a really quick read. The tone is conversational and it’s easy to follow. There is a lot of content about her own history of learning to “tidy” and her way of thinking about the objects a person has. She believes that our things all want to serve us, but we often have so much that we don’t take care of what we have, or even use it. We should make choices about what to keep and what to discard based on one simple question, “Does this item spark joy?” Just reading that question brought to mind many items that do not spark joy, and even cause irritation. Why am I hanging on to those things?

Her method for “tidying” follows a specific order, and since she’s the expert and I have no desire to argue the point, I decided to try it out on the first item on the list: shirts. The idea is to take them all out of their hiding places (drawers, closet, wherever you keep them) then pick up the items one by one. Each one should “guide” your decision, either it sparks joy or it doesn’t.

I suppose I have a lot of shirts. I have t-shirts and tanks that I fold on shelves, I have blouses that hang, I have long-sleeved t-shirts folded on a different shelf, and I have a few jackets, sweaters, and sweatshirts. So far I’ve only gone through the t-shirts and tanks. I kept about half. I feel lighter already. Tomorrow I tackle the long-sleeved t-shirts. Who knows, I may even finish the tops tomorrow.

When I walked into my closet tonight to get my pajamas, I felt the difference. The t-shirts I kept were happier because they weren’t squished and they had more of a chance to be worn. The whole closet is starting to look and feel a little lighter and better. I can relate!

Just like my weight loss, it will take time to go through the steps necessary to make long-term changes, but it can be done. I’m looking forward to living with less, and enjoying my space more. As Flylady always says, “You can’t organize clutter.” Amen to that!

September 5, 2015
by BulgingButtons 1 Comment

Ten Pounds Down

Imagine walking around with this strapped to you all the time.

I’m thrilled to report that my last meeting with the nutritionist yielded this wonderful news. I’m delighted that I’ve been able to lose ten pounds, and so far at least, it’s been relatively easy. The best part about it? I can once again easily reach around my back to unhook my bra at the end of the day. Sounds silly, I know, but those last ten pounds made that task extremely difficult.

A second small success is the relative ease with which I’ve been getting in and out of the car. I hadn’t noticed how much of a struggle that task had become. Again, ten pounds might not seem like much, especially when I have many multiples of ten to lose, but those small victories are victories all the same.

I’m looking forward to each of the ten pound milestones and the small successes that go with them. I’m actually pretty sure that when I get on a plane again in October I won’t need the seatbelt extender. If I do, so be it, but again, it’s just one of those situations where life is a little easier if I don’t.

I’m trying to celebrate each little success along the way in this long road that I have to travel. One small one yesterday was a noticeable shift in my brain. I was at a training for several hours with my colleagues and on the table was an assortment of candy. Normally I’m the girl who eats all of the chocolate and stashes the wrappers somewhere inconspicuous so nobody gives me that look (although I’m sure they all know anyway). Well, yesterday something wonderful happened. There was one small bag of Hot Tamales (six candies) and I took that. Nothing else. Ok, so I mooched two yellow Skittles from my friend too, but really, that’s it. Not bad, huh? The best part? I didn’t even want those other candies. I didn’t give them a second thought. Yay, brain! You’re evolving!

I’m rewiring my brain in terms of its perception of food, and my taste buds are going along for the ride. By cutting out a lot of junky foods and eating more real foods (you know, like fruits and vegetables) I’m relearning what tastes good. It’s a process, for sure, but I’m committed, so I might as well enjoy it.

On a final note, if you ever want every Facebook friend you’ve ever had to respond to a post of yours, tell the world you’ve lost ten pounds. The outpouring of encouragement was overwhelming. I’m glad I wear my heart on my sleeve, it allows me to share in life’s big (and small) moments with wonderful people around the world.