Other Thoughts | BulgingButtons

July 18, 2014
by BulgingButtons 8 Comments

Curse This Blessing

Tomorrow my niece will have her Bat Mitzvah. She will get up in front of the congregation and friends and family from near and far and she will read from the Torah. It is a Jewish rite of passage and she is well prepared for it. She will do great.

I, on the other hand, will bomb.

I never had a Bat Mitzvah. I was raised in the same synagogue where she will have her ceremony, and while it is a beautiful house of worship, it’s also quite large. As a kid her age I was quite shy. I begged my parents not to make me do it, and they agreed. I still don’t entirely understand that decision, but I’m happy with it. As a result, I never had to go up there and recite Hebrew in front of all those people. I dodged a bullet. Or so I thought.

A few nights ago my brother mentioned that he would like me and my mother to recite two prayers during the service. One is recited before reading the Torah, and the other is recited after. I’ve heard both of these prayers many many times during my life, but could I tell you the exact words? Did I mention that they’re in Hebrew? Gulp.

My brother told me not to worry, they have a laminated card right up there on the pulpit so you can’t mess up. The words are written in english syllables. Sort of. And the tune… well, let’s just say it’s a kind of sing-song chant thing. I should know it. But I don’t.

My internet access has been somewhat limited, so it wasn’t until tonight that I was able to hunt around on youtube to find these prayers. Finally, a Jan Lieberman, a cantor from Florida, had what I needed. I know most of it, but there’s still one line that’s tricky. The sounds she makes and the english letters on the laminated card don’t seem to match up in my brain, so I’m still a little stuck on that part. Add to that the fact that my mother is completely tone deaf, and I don’t have a great voice to begin with, and I think we’re in trouble.

The good news is that I’ve got the first prayer down. The further good news is that the second prayer is only about 15 seconds long on the youtube video. It will be fine, I have all night to listen to it. Besides, nobody will be paying attention to me anyway, it’s my niece’s day, and she will be perfect.

July 16, 2014
by BulgingButtons 4 Comments

Suburban Invasion

They descended like a military unit, all shock and awe. My shattered dream was a casualty of the buzz and drone and whine of their battalion of equipment as it overtook the property outside my open window. They shouted orders to each other and went about their business with an impressive focus. The noise assaulted my fragile hold on the new day, and the overpowering scent of freshly cut grass attacked my delicate sinuses. Must they work at this early hour? This invasion occurs several times a week in this neighborhood. The calm is exploded and the air is seeded with allergens. The yards, however, are pristine. I’m glad I’m just visiting.

July 14, 2014
by BulgingButtons 2 Comments

Can You Go Back?

I attended my high school reunion over the weekend. We do this ritual every ten years or so, and I haven’t missed one yet. I was sorry that some of my classmates couldn’t attend due to distance and schedules and the general nuts and bolts of life, but that’s to be expected. It doesn’t diminish the event for me if every friend I’ve ever had can’t be there. In fact, there were more than enough people there for me to try to figure out who’s who.

I have to tell you, overall my classmates look pretty darn good to me. As a group they have aged well. Sure, there are a few exceptions but overall they don’t look a whole lot different than they did way back when, except that now they look like adults. Well, most of them. I swear there are two or three who got stuck in some soft of funky time warp thing.

I’ve been thinking about the weekend and all the people I saw, and what struck me was how much positive energy I felt with that group. It makes sense, doesn’t it? The people who are feeling pretty good about life, and don’t mind spending the time and energy it takes to get to the reunion (even if they live around the corner) are the ones who show up. The ones who are struggling stay at home. Those who hated high school or who hate people in general can’t be bothered to come to this event. That’s okay. I’m not saying high school is the be all, end all. Quite the opposite. In fact, I was struck by how little of the conversation had anything to do with high school at all. Time and again I caught up with people and learned what their lives are like now. There have been triumphs and tragedies, but nobody seemed to dwell in the past.

I was glad to see that. I think of the old Bruce Springsteen song, “Glory Days” and feel relieved that I’m part of a group that isn’t living that depressing reality. Our best days are not behind us. Our best days are everyday. Can you go back? Certainly, as long as you continue to simultaneously go forward.