BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl

Category Archives: Other Thoughts


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Blog of the Year Rounds Two and Three (UPDATE)

Blog of the Year Award 3 star jpegWoo Hoo! Twice in one week. I’m going to get a swelled head with all the kudos, but I’ll happily take them. I want to thank Darcy of yadadarcyyada for thinking I’m awesome enough to receive this award.

I received the same one just the other day and finally got around to posting it yesterday, so all the blog rules are on that post entitled, oddly enough, “Blog of the Year.”

The super fun thing about this award is that you can receive it up to six times! That’s what the colored stars are for. Pretty great, right?

Thanks, Darcy! And thanks to everyone who reads, likes, reblogs, and especially comments on the things I share on BulgingButtons. You make this blogging experience a total blast, and I thank you sincerely for that.

UPDATE: I woke up to the news that the fabulous LaSha at The Lovely Photog shot me back another star, so I’ll happily add it to the mix. I’m delighted, to say the least. Please check out her blog. She is very talented. He blog features photography, family life, and more. Many thanks.

I can’t believe that I’ve won three of the six stars in December alone. Maybe I’m silly, maybe I’m a geek, I’m sure I’m both, but I’m super excited about that. How cool would it be to get all six? Crazy, I know.

Here are some great blogs that deserve your time and visit, as well as their own Blog of the Year Awards:

Must be This Tall To Ride: This one is fairly new to me, but boy do I love it. Matt has a fresh writing style and doesn’t shy away from tough topics, especially his recent divorce. He’s also funny and real, and a pleasure to read.

Just Another F Bomb: Leslie writes about the challenges of living with Fibromyalgia. Her blog is insightful and informative but not whiny or preachy. She is fine writer and I’m glad I’ve found her blog.

The Goddess Weighs In: Cynthia’s blog is one of my favorites. She is large and in charge and isn’t about to take crap from anyone. She is also gracious, intelligent, and very helpful. She reviews products, shares her experiences, and makes me laugh. She was the inspiration behind the 47 for 47 Challenge, and the reason I work out (ok, three times so far) to a belly dancing DVD, of all things.

Vic Briggs: Vic is a writer who takes on lots of current events and also offers amazing poetry. Get comfy when you click the link, you’ll probably be reading for quite a while.


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Throwback Thursday – Preppy

Ok, I confess, I was a prep. Big time. I owned the Official Preppy Handbook (oh how I wish I had written that one) and did my best to live the preppy dream. I didn’t go by Muffy or have a summer home in the Hamptons, but I did enjoy that style. Here are a few highlights of my preppy phase.

1. Turtle necks with tiny printed things on them. There were hearts, flowers, frogs, strawberries, and so on, but my all time favorite was the one with whales. In fact it inspired my fashion mantra of the era, “When in doubt, wear whales.”

2. Real Sperry Topsiders. These were purchased from the boating supply store and were worlds cooler than the Thom McAn knock offs.

3. Wool sweaters, particularly those with a pattered yolk or a monogram. Yes, I had both. Yes, I had a lot of sweaters. Really. A lot of sweaters.

4. Ribbon patterned accessories. I had ribbon headbands, ribbon watchbands, and ribbon D-ring belts. Sailboats, lobsters, flowers, whatever.

5. L.L. Bean Chamois shirt. It had to be from L.L. Bean. I’m not sure why, but it did. I had two, one red and one navy. I loved the red one best, it was so soft.

6. Alligator shirts. These were your standard polo style shirt, but before anyone had heard of Ralph Lauren. They came in a huge variety of solids and stripes, and were always worn with the collar flipped up. I don’t know why.

7. Penny loafers. With pennies in them, of course. My pennies were Canadian, just because.

8. Pappagallo purses with wooden handles and interchangeable covers. I had the smaller sized one. It was a terrible excuse for a purse, but oh so cute.

9. Tretorn tennis shoes. I resisted these because my mother wore them to actually play tennis, so how could they be cool? But I finally gave in because not only were they cool, they were really comfortable. I wore them for years afterward. My favorite pair had red plaid swooshes.

10. Pink and Green. I resisted this trend for quite a while too, because I thought it was ugly, until my mom found the cutest lime green sweater with just a tiny bit of pink trim around the edges. Then I was doomed. My Tretorns (see number 9) were taken from my gym basket and dyed… one hot pink, one lime green. Then the laces were switched. They were hideous. Yes, I probably deserved it.

I would love to hear your fashion flashbacks. Any other grown up preppies out there? I’m sure I’m not alone. After all, L.L. Bean is still in business.


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Behind the Curtain

“Ignore the man behind the curtain!” The Great and Powerful Oz bellowed as smoke and flames shot into the air around his enormous translucent head.  This command struck sheer terror into my heart. wizard-of-oz-1Not Dorothy, though. She marched right over to that curtain and yanked it back, exposing the knobs and levers and fraud of a polished showman. She was far braver than I am.

Sometimes I worry that if I ask too many questions I’ll expose something ugly and raw that I would rather not know. I don’t agree with, “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” as national policy, but on a purely personal level I have used it more times than I would like to admit.  I’m not proud of this cowardice, but I do own it.

I was raised in a family that kept secrets. As far as I know, I was the biggest secret of all. Nobody was supposed to know that I was adopted, least of all me. I might be scarred. I might be ruined. Or, worst of all, I might turn out like my birth mother, who was obviously incompetent or worse. She must have been, or she wouldn’t have found herself in a position to give up her baby.  Me.

It took so many years and so much preparation to finally gain the courage to peek behind that curtain and ask, in so many words, “was I adopted?” It’s an easy question, really. Basically a yes or no would do. What I got in response was, “Would it matter?”wizard

Yes. It matters. It matters that my entire personal history has been a lie. It matters that somewhere out in the world there are people with whom I share a genetic tie that, in spite of the lies and omissions of truth that began the day I was born, cannot be denied. Until my own child was born I had never laid eyes on anyone who was related to me by birth. I had never before seen myself in anyone else, and it was a strange experience indeed.

So, yes, it matters. I wish you had come out from behind that curtain years ago. I wish you would have trusted me with the truth of my existence. I would have loved you still.