BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl

Category Archives: Writing


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And So We Bleed

Today I choose to focus on the positive.

For example, a pen exploded all over my hand today in class. It inspired a bit of writing, which I humbly share with you, although it may lack something since the blobs of green ink are missing.

The Power of Ink

My pen is out to get me. It thinks that if it explodes a little bit I’ll give up on it, and then it won’t be used and it can keep its precious ink forever.

Ink is like blood to a pen, but unlike blood, the pen doesn’t recycle or regenerate it. Once the ink has been scrawled across the page, it can never be returned to the pen.

The ink, of course, becomes much more powerful once it’s on the page – after all, it turns into words. Words that form stories, legends, contracts, and vows.

What was once plain ink can turn into the Declaration of Independence, or an adoption decree, or a letter to a soldier stationed overseas.

The pen is selfish. It needs the ink in order for it to be considered useful, however, the ink only becomes useful once it finally leaves the shelter of the pen.


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Vote

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Or don’t. Usually I don’t really care whether you exercise your civic right (and duty) if you’re a U.S. citizen. I trust in the balance of powers and figure that it will all work out one way or another.

Sad, right?

What can I say? Most of my life I’ve identified myself as “apolitical,” rather than Republican, Democrat, liberal, or conservative. I’ve been a registered Independent my entire voting life, and I have crossed party lines many times depending on the candidate’s stand on particular issues. I’m not a one issue voter, though, so sometimes it’s hard for me to figure out where I want to place my support.

This presidential election year was similar, at least at the beginning. There were different faces emerging from the usual crowd. I heard different voices in the mix. I stood back and listened, not intently, because I knew most of them would fall by the wayside, but I was still at least a little bit interested.

As the campaign season progressed, though, it because impossible to listen from a distance. As the field narrowed and the voices got louder and more difficult to laugh off, I started to pay closer attention. I started to get concerned.

Now here we are, election day. This is where I would normally encourage you to get to your polling place and cast your vote, if you haven’t already. I normally wouldn’t care what you marked on your ballot, just that you were a participating citizen. This year is different. This year I’m afraid for our nation. I’m afraid that what was once considered a joke will become our nation’s new reality. I’m afraid that too many of us don’t recognize how dangerous a world leader with an out of control ego can be.

I still have faith in our nation. I still have faith in the balance of powers. I still believe that the future of our country is not as grim as some make it out to be. I’m not packing up and leaving the country, regardless of the outcome of the election, but I can’t help but think of my parents and grandparent who had to do that very thing when a certain leader came to power just two generations ago.

I hope you’ll use your vote wisely. I hope whomever ends up as our next leader does so with wisdom, restraint, and fairness. I hope so for all of our sakes.


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Fashionista

I can hardly stifle the giggle as I type the word “fashionista.” It is a word that is so far from who I am that it seems ridiculous to even mutter it, but lately I’ve been really enjoying the world of fashion, at least the little bit of it that I’ve chosen to bite off.

It started with my curiosity about capsule wardrobes. I did some research on them and I liked the idea, but in my world not everything is mix and match. Hemlines from shirts have to be of a particular length to be worn with certain pants or skirts, or else the entire effect is quite horrifying. Maybe not to the casual observer, but unless the bulges are covered just so I feel exposed and uncomfortable. I find myself with the same go-to outfits over and over, as so many other women do.

I wanted to expand my horizons a bit, so I looked into the clothing subscription services. It didn’t take me long to find Dia & Co online, and their reviews were terrific. I read through their website, watched a few unboxing videos, and decided to give it a try.

For a $20 styling fee (mine was waived with my first box) items are chosen specifically for you and sent to your door. How do they know what to choose? You provide guidance by answering a series of specific questions and uploading some pictures of yourself. Just like online dating, the more you’re willing to share and be vulnerable, the better matches you’re likely to secure.

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kimono and skinny jeans

My first box arrived, and my initial thought was how can they fit five items to fit me in that little box? They did, though, and they were thoughtfully wrapped in tissue paper with a gold seal and a personalized note from my stylist, Melly. As I took out each item I got more and more excited. That first box contained a wrap dress in a funky geometric print, a brilliant blue blouse perfect for work, a cute striped top for weekend wear, a gorgeous flowing kimono type garment, and a pair of skinny jeans. Honestly, I don’t think I would have tried on any of those pieces in the store, but then again that’s why I wanted a stylist

I loved being able to try everything on in my own home, and I felt like a little kid putting on a fashion show. The only item I didn’t instantly love was the striped top because it felt a little snug to me. I decided to keep the rest of the items but try to exchange the top for the next size. The only glitch was that the next size wasn’t available, so I simply didn’t buy that piece. You only pay for what you keep, and if you buy anything from the box your $20 styling fee is refunded.

By the time I got my second box I was nearly giddy with anticipation. I figured the first one must have been something of a fluke, but there was bound to be something in there that I liked, so I opened it up with great fanfare and again felt like it was Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one. Melly sent me another beautiful dress,this one in vibrant tones that I just adore. She also sent a pair of “boyfriend” jeans that I was a little afraid of, because of the distressing. Her note assured me that they were on trend and age appropriate. I decided to reserve judgment until I tried them on. There was also a flowing, flowery tunic, perfect for topping leggings, and a black top with flowered sleeves.  Finally, there was a maxi-skirt with a Southwest type print in coral, turquoise, and black on a white background. Again, nothing I would have chosen, but off to the fashion show I went.

I have to say it, I loved it all. Even the boyfriend jeans. I feel adorable in them, and I’ve received several compliments on how cute they are. The black top with the floral sleeves? I would have NEVER picked that, but 1) it’s SO comfy and looks great dressy or with jeans, and 2) I’ve received more compliments on that top than any item of clothing I’ve ever owned (except maybe my wedding dress, but people HAVE to compliment those, right?). Needless to say, I kept the entire box. The nice part about that is when you do, Dia & Co gives you a 20% discount.

When you consider that you’re purchasing five items that are hand-picked for you, based on your size, body type, coloring, and preferences, and you don’t have to set foot outside of your home to do it, I think it’s a deal. My items have averaged about $40 each, but to have them chosen for me, fit me, look good on me, and not have the disappointment of rummaging through rack after rack to find items is totally worth it. Plus, with this company, I’ve found ways to expand my style to include new looks that make me feel confident, and, dare I say it, fashionable.

Listen, I’ve been blogging for a few years, and if you read BulgingButtons regularly you know that I don’t generally do product endorsements. I didn’t receive anything in exchange for this blog post, I’m just really happy with the company. And yes, if you’d like to give them a try you can use this code: https://www.dia.co/r/7gg5 . I think it gives me some sort of discount or something, but that’s not why I’m sharing. I’m sharing because as a fat girl who has literally shed tears in store dressing rooms it’s nice to have a positive shopping experience, and it’s nice to feel valued by a fashion company. Shopping has become fun again, and I want other plus sized women to know this service is out there and it might be the boost your wardrobe and image needs.