BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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And So We Bleed

Today I choose to focus on the positive.

For example, a pen exploded all over my hand today in class. It inspired a bit of writing, which I humbly share with you, although it may lack something since the blobs of green ink are missing.

The Power of Ink

My pen is out to get me. It thinks that if it explodes a little bit I’ll give up on it, and then it won’t be used and it can keep its precious ink forever.

Ink is like blood to a pen, but unlike blood, the pen doesn’t recycle or regenerate it. Once the ink has been scrawled across the page, it can never be returned to the pen.

The ink, of course, becomes much more powerful once it’s on the page – after all, it turns into words. Words that form stories, legends, contracts, and vows.

What was once plain ink can turn into the Declaration of Independence, or an adoption decree, or a letter to a soldier stationed overseas.

The pen is selfish. It needs the ink in order for it to be considered useful, however, the ink only becomes useful once it finally leaves the shelter of the pen.


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If Only I Would Listen to Myself

One of the beautiful things about having a blog is that you have a record of where you’ve been what you’ve been thinking about. I know where I am now, and honesty, I’m not exactly thrilled about this place. I’m not entirely certain how I got here or why I’m here, but regardless, here I am.

I’m at a place where I know I need to get my butt in gear (again) and overcome inertia. It’s a familiar place, and in some ways it’s comfortable, but it’s unproductive, and I know it. So what to do?

Well, for one thing I just managed to give myself a quick little motivational pep talk (is that redundant? I don’t care.) by simply reading some old posts. mn016WordPress does this brilliant thing where they take the content of a post and guess at some other posts that might be related. Today, as I was making an edit to yesterday’s post about my physical, I not only noticed the linked articles, but I clicked on one. I’m glad I did.

It took me to a post I wrote when I was in a similar situation to the one I’m in now. I was dealing with all time highs on my medical chart and a feeling of being overwhelmed. Some old, same old, right? Except that I had some good advice for myself. I came to the conclusion that I should treat myself at least as well as I treat my friends. I don’t beat them up for their mistakes. I don’t love them less if they’ve gained a few pounds or missed a couple of doses of medication. I love them anyway, and I support them. I can do that for myself too. I need to. And so do you. We need to be our own best cheerleaders, focusing on the positives and bolstering ourselves up when the going gets tough. Cheerleaders don’t quit when their teams are down, they redouble their efforts to encourage them. Let’s do that for ourselves and each other. Are you ready? Go Team!


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April Affirmation – Or the Next Installment of “Sell This House”

We started with the February Focus, where we worked and cleaned and repaired and decluttered and replaced and updated and generally went nuts over our house. A new faucet went in, two new light fixtures were installed, and several hundred pounds of books and other items were either donated or taken to our storage facility. It was a chore, but we did it.

February turned to March, and we set off on our March Mission. We studied the real estate market in our area, went over comps with our realtor, and settled on a fair asking price. We filled out the appropriate paperwork, rewrote the realtor’s listing, and held our breath as the listing went live.

There have been showings scheduled, often times at the last minute. The house has been cleaner and tidier than it has ever been, including the day I bought it. There has not been a single dish left out, a single unmade bed, a single toothpaste speck on a mirror. Every morning blinds are opened, beds are made, sinks, counters, and toilets are touched up, and doors are opened wide. Music from an easy listening channel plays each day from the televisions throughout the house, making the atmosphere as inviting as a model home. Still, no bites.

This is the artist's drawing of the new homes being built near my house.

This is the artist’s drawing of the new homes being built near my house.

Ok, I know there’s a construction site out the front window. I do. I don’t like it that much either. So I did the research and found the preliminary layout and landscaping plan online. I printed it out, alongside a short article that explains the development. These two printouts are on my kitchen island, next to the lovely flyers my sweetheart created. Turns out that it’s a community of “Casita” style homes, all one story, mostly single units, but some side-by-side doubles. It looks likes it’s going to be hip and modern and lovely. You just can’t tell yet from the piles of dirt and heavy equipment out my front window.

Now it’s April, and I’m in the process of working on my April Affirmation. The house will sell soon at a reasonable price. This is the affirmation. In fact I even gave it a date. Tax day. Why not? We will have a reasonable offer by April 15. This is the revised affirmation. I need to believe this. I also need to consider adjusting the price. After all, you can’t fall in love with a house if you don’t come see it, and you won’t come see it if you think it’s out of your price range, right? So I’m giving this careful consideration, all the while repeating, “there will be a reasonable offer by April 15.”

If anyone would care to join in the positive thinking, I would be most grateful. I’m ready to move on to the next chapter of my life saga.