BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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Ode to Swollen Feet

I have indulged in something so sodium laden you had not choice but to react

I have stressed you beyond your limit

I didn’t realize it at first

Havaianas-Slim-Flip-Flops-Black-300x300But slowly, surely, you expanded bit by bit

Strange, you don’t normally look like puffy skin pillows with pink painted nubs at the ends

But there you are

Two gigantically swollen feet stuck to the ends of my legs, squeezed into flip flops because no other shoes will accommodate you

I have a secret fear that your skin is stretched so taut it will split under the slightest pressure

I take full responsibility for your pitiful condition

I’m sorry

 

 

 

 


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May Mantra – Sell This House

Good Morning Swiffer. Hello vacuum. How are you this beautiful Saturday, duster? I feel like these implements have become my dear friends. Friends that I would like to take a break from. It’s not that they aren’t helpful, it’s just that we’ve been seeing a little too much of each other lately.

As of today many people have walked through my house, deciding whether or not to make it their new home. So far they have all decided not to. There is someone, however, who is on the fence. Their realtor called to schedule a second look. They are narrowing down their options. Apparently their concern is not the construction project across the street (over which I have no control) but the small size of the yard (over which I have no control).71YXfpXt8vL._SL1500_

The realtor told me the client is downsizing. Perfect. A small yard with no upkeep should be just the ticket. There’s room in front for puttering if they want to put in more plants, and they can container garden like crazy in the back. I wonder if the flowers were there the first time they came through. They look great now. Maybe that will inspire them.

It’s too bad that my umbrella broke. One afternoon while we were at work the wind picked it up and smashed it against the wall. At least it didn’t leave a gouge. The umbrella provides some much-needed shade and a pop of color. My mother is adamant that I replace it immediately. Should I?

This is what I do. I obsess about things which may or may not make any difference at all. In a perfect world a person should scout out the neighborhood, then walk through a house, to get a sense of the floor plan and amount of space it offers. They should carefully observe what types of updates and repairs the property might need.  They should ignore things like current furnishing, wall colors, decor, and the like. They don’t. Most people see what they see, and if it looks pretty they’ll like it, but if it doesn’t they can’t see past it.

This accounts for my obsessing over the tiny details that I can control, since there are big things that I can’t control. So off I go, to Swiffer and vacuum and dust, and to replace my broken umbrella, so the tiny backyard looks like the desert oasis it is.


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Oh Sriracha

Where did this stuff come from? All of a sudden it was just there. Then it was everywhere. blogsriracha

I like spicy, but I can’t handle too spicy. I’m a baby that way. Sriracha works for me. It gives my food a kick but it doesn’t make me want to cry.

That kick is important. Since I’ve gone back on Weight Watchers, I’ve been doing pretty well. Ok, unless you count my lunch today which consisted of nothing but desserts and a diet coke. Damn Teacher Appreciation Week. But I didn’t eat a real lunch so I could indulge in the yumminess. That works, right? It’s math.

Back to the kick. Since I’m getting reacquainted with healthy (in my mind boring) food, amping up the flavor is important. Sweet chili sauce, fat free Italian dressing, garlic powder, honey mustard, and Sriracha all add a lot of flavor for not a lot of calories (or any). Yay!

I love food, and want to enjoy it. Bland food isn’t for me. I want FLAVOR! If I can’t get it from butter and chocolate and cheese, then why not from condiments?