September 15, 2013
by BulgingButtons 4 Comments

Daily Prompt: Pants on Fire

This former daily prompt made me really stop and think. What was the last lie I told and why did I tell it? Hmmmm. Immediately I figured it must have been in school with my students. Little fibs happen all the time. Usually they’re to keep things running smoothly in the classroom and to create the outcome that I want. For example, I pretend to randomly choose a student to contribute to the discussion, but really have my victim (uh, I mean volunteer) chosen ahead of time.

This type of orchestrating allows teachers to avoid situations like the one my colleague nearly found herself in as her class chose a nickname. They worked hard at brainstorming, and one student came up with the fabulous name, “Mrs. H’s Hooters.” Too bad that name accidentally got left off the ballot as they voted. Clearly Mrs. H fibs too. Sometimes it’s a matter of survival.

Aside from school, I’m a pretty honest person. I don’t lie about my age or my weight (although I might prefer to avoid the topic of exact pounds). I tell the doctor all the things I’ve done that I shouldn’t, and all the things I haven’t done that I should. I fill out my taxes accurately, and I even stop at the stop signs in parking lots when nobody is around to see me.

When it comes right down to it, I think I mostly lie to myself. I lie to myself every morning as I look in the mirror. I tell myself that I look pretty good, but as soon as a see a photo I cringe. I lie to myself about how much time I’m willing to spend on certain things, about how interested I am in certain projects. I lie to myself when I say yes to projects that I don’t have the time or energy to pursue. That type of self deception is foolish and ultimately pricey. It is also damaging and gets me into trouble. It has gotten me to a point where my health and well being have been compromised. I’ve decided that it’s time to be brutally honest with myself. If I won’t do it, nobody will.

September 14, 2013
by BulgingButtons 13 Comments

Daily Prompt: Bookworms

Grab the nearest book. Open it and go to the tenth word. Do a Google Image Search of the word. Write about what the image brings to mind.

Ok, I confess, I cheated. My tenth word was “of” so I took the eleventh. Fabric. Glorious, beautiful, delicious fabric. It’s not all that surprising since my computer shares space with my sewing room. A quick reach to the right, and I pulled my ancient Quilter’s Complete Guide by Fons and Porter off the shelf. How lucky to find fabric in the first sentence, after all, it’s one of my favorite things!

The trick was not to get too lost in the google images. There were bazillions of them. Stacks of fabric, piles of fabric, bolts of fabric. Of course the bright cottons drew me right away. I love the bold colors and eye catching designs. These are the fabrics favored by modern quilters, often in combination with neutrals. Their work also features solids of all shades. I still shy away from solids myself, but the work those quilters do is amazing.

The modern quilt movement has done wonderful things for the world of quilting, infusing it with new life and energy. I love that modern quilters aren’t afraid to make mistakes or do things their own way. The quilt police have long ago been drummed out of their world.

More traditional quilters are using those gorgeous new fabrics too, in innovative and stunning ways. I subscribe to several quilting publications, and I’m always inspired by the creativity of other quilters, regardless of their niche in the large and inclusive quilting world.

Currently I consider myself a lazy quilter, or at least an easy quilter. I don’t quilt often anymore, and when I do I usually choose simple designs that showcase the fabrics. I’ve cut back considerably on my fabric shopping for several reasons, none of which include not LOVING all the new fabric trends.

1. cost – quality quilting cottons are quite pricey

2. space – with my fiancé living with us, our house is pretty full

3. guilt – there is a lot of fabric in this house that has been here a long time

I need to get my current project wrapped up and sent on it’s way, then finish up some UFO’s (unfinished objects, for the uninitiated). Not only would I feel better about using what I have, but I would be ticking off some items on my 47 for 47 challenge. Maybe then I could add some luscious new fabrics to my collection.

September 14, 2013
by BulgingButtons 4 Comments

Daily Passion Prompt 9: Jumping Self Imposed Hurdles

TODAY’S QUESTION:

WHAT’S THE BIGGEST OBSTACLE KEEPING YOU FROM LIVING YOUR PASSION?

I think of obstacles as hurdles. They’re in your way, but they’re not insurmountable. In fact, you really don’t even have to go over them in all cases. Sometimes you can simply knock them down or go around them. Now brick walls are a different story. Those need to be scaled or demolished, which is a similar concept, but on a much grander scale.

Fortunately for me, I don’t have any brick walls in my way. To me, the brick walls in life are things like substance abuse issues, lack of a basic education, mental or physical illness, poverty, fear from living in an abusive situation, and loneliness. Some of those may be overcome with tools, support, and determination, but others may not. I’m thankful that none of those situations apply to my life at this time. If I’m fortunate, they never will.

The type of obstacles I face are largely the self-imposed ones. A quick run-down includes:

1. indecision

2. being uninformed

3. inertia

4. fear of change

Let’s examine these one at a time. Indecision is probably the biggest issue for me. I’m indecisive about what living my passion means or looks like. I’m not sure how to achieve a goal that I have yet to firmly define. I am passionate about writing, and would love to take my writing beyond my beloved blog, but I’m not certain in what direction I wish to go. I don’t have a Harry Potter or a Fifty Shades of Grey series in me, this I know. I have to figure out exactly what it is that I DO have in me.

The second issue is that I’m uninformed about how exactly this whole writing/publishing thing works. This is entirely my own fault. I know authors, I’m part of writing groups, and I have resources. I need to spend more time learning and less time making excuses, which brings me to the next point, inertia.

It is far easier to do what you already know than to change things up. I’ve lived this too many times to count. I’ve spent years in jobs that took life out of me, and I’ve given far too much of myself to relationships that gave me little in return. Why? Inertia. Change is difficult. It’s physics, really. Newton’s law. A body at rest will stay at rest unless acted upon by an outside force. Something like that. I can’t spend the rest of my life waiting for outside forces to intervene, though. If it’s to be, I have to make it happen, whatever “IT” happens to ends up being.

It’s all well and good to put out the rallying cry, but in the end I think the main reason for emotional inertia, Newton aside, is fear. After all, I’m only human. I know what I know and I know how to navigate the life I currently lead. I’m happy. I enjoy my work and my students and colleagues. I feel happy and productive and content that I’m making a contribution to the greater good. I’m generally satisfied with the compensation I receive for that work. Overall, things are pretty good. So why mess with a good thing?

I’m not afraid of failure. I’m not jumping off a cliff. Failure in a writing or publishing endeavor won’t leave me crumpled on a canyon floor. It won’t take food off my family’s table or turn us out into the street. It’s not failure that concerns me, it’s, dare I say it, success. What would that look like? What would that feel like? Would I leave my current situation? Would I be a pretender? Would I fool the general public, or at least a tiny slice of it, into believing whatever it is I’m selling? Because as an author, you really are selling. You’re selling your story and your point of view and your voice. Am I up to that task? I just don’t know yet. And I’m just not sure how I ought to proceed. Damn, there’s that indecision again.