BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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First Day of School Nerves

This happens every year. In fact I think I write about it every year, and I may even choose the same words. I’m not looking back, because I really don’t care if I repeat myself. It bears repeating. School is starting tomorrow and I’m a bundle of nerves.

I know it’s going to go well.keep-calm-and-act-like-you-know-what-youre-doing.jpg

I know the children are going to be terrific.

I know I’m planned and have my materials ready.

But what if…

What if everything that’s planned falls flat? What if the children won’t listen to me? What if they’re mean to each other? What if I forget how to teach? What if there’s a big storm tomorrow morning and it’s chaos? What if I mess up the schedule? What if I can’t remember any of their names? What if, what if, what if…

O.K. Big breath. Now that I’ve spewed out all of those highly unlikely scenarios (well, except for maybe mixing up the schedule a little and forgetting a name here or there) I actually feel better.

I won’t forget how to teach.

The children will be excited to be back in school and in the fourth grade for the first time.

They will be pleasant and work hard.

We’ll have a fun and productive day getting to know each other and learning how to be fourth graders.

It’s going to be a great year, I just know it. Still, I won’t sleep tonight, but that’s to be expected too.


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Feeling Better Already

I’m not sure if it was the two-week vacation or the plan that my health care provider and I put into place, or maybe a combination of the two, but I’m feeling so much better. My outlook has improved, my energy has increased, and in general things are looking up. Not that they were awful before; they weren’t. But wow, I really do feel better. In fact I feel more like myself.

I also feel like I’m ready to start taking care of myself again. I’ve been moving more, which actually feels pretty good. Additionally, my house is full of fresh fruits and vegetables, and I’m enjoying them. Moderation is the word of the day, although it’s been a bugaboo for me in the past.

I’m pretty sure there’s something messed up with the pleasure sensors in my brain. It seems that when they’re activated they completely override the the satiation function. It works like this:

me: Yum, this is delicious. I’ll just have a bit.65190869-stock-vector-fat-glutton-ginger-cat-with-empty-bowl-on-white-background-vector-illustration.jpg

also me: This is SO good. KEEP EATING.

me: Well, maybe just a little more.

also me: DON’T STOP. THERE’S PLENTY.

me: I’m full. I need to stop eating this.

also me: Are you kidding? This is TOO GOOD. DON’T STOP.

me: I ate it all. I feel awful. Why do I do this?

also me: But it was SO GOOD.

See how that works? It’s counterproductive, to say the least. At the moment, though, it seems to be in check. I mean, who’s going to go nuts over plums?

Anyway, tomorrow it’s back to school for teachers, and the beginning of a brand new school year. It’s a perfect time for a fresh start, so here I am, ready to go.

Enjoy your summer, or what’s left of it, and imagine me and my kiddos back in school (it’s so early!!!)