BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl


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I’m Back

cat-in-the-hatOh goodness, I hardly know where to begin. So much has happened in the last several weeks that my mind is mushing it all together and the words aren’t forming themselves the way they’re supposed to.

Instead of a long rambling post, which I don’t think I can manage right now, and which I KNOW you don’t want to read, how about a table of contents of sorts. Here’s what’s been on my mind recently, some or all of which may find its way into blog posts over the next several days.

  1. Airline travel revisited
  2. Turning 50
  3. Being first in line (out of 10,000 or so)
  4. No extra frosting for me
  5. Except on my sweetheart’s caramel cake
  6. A San Antonio Wedding
  7. Writing Around New Orleans
  8. Fiction, non-fiction, or poetry? Or do I have to choose?
  9. Pokemon Go!
  10. My trip to the Emergency room, Ovarian cysts, and the questions I now have
  11. Back to School, or the party’s over
  12. Expanding the Mind, and increasing the value of learning for its own sake

See, there’s a lot rattling around up there. Oh, and the house is a mess and I’ve actually been cooking real food recently and the boy is going to move into the dorms in a frighteningly short amount of time, and he has to take his driver’s test still. OH. MY. GAWD.

It’s just all too much right now. Too much to juggle. Too much to handle. Too much to process. No wonder I just want to run around (run away) chasing imaginary critters with my phone. But this too shall pass, so I’m going to breathe, go take a shower, and eat some lunch. Yeah, it’s almost 2:30 pm, I make no apologies.


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Ladies and gentlemen, Drake White

I had the pleasure of listening to this band from right in front of the stage as they opened for the Zac Brown Band. I couldn’t stop dancing, and I grinned ear to ear the entire time. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.


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Why Being Fat Sucks – Round Two

(Another one from the archives. Enjoy, or cringe…)

Seriously, it’s no fun. Here’s the next installment in the being fat sucks series (see part one here).

 

1. Socks dig into your legs.

2. Your bra side panels sometimes get sucked into the caverns created by your back fat.

3. You have to strategically plan your path through a crowded room.

Trust me, the fat woman is mortified.

Trust me, the fat woman is mortified.

4. You bump into every single person along the aisle of the airplane as you walk by.

5. What looks cute on your friends looks absurd on you.

6. Getting out of bed is literally the first challenge of the day.

7. You learn to avoid mirrors, thus failing to notice spinach in your teeth and other ugly details.

8. Your seatbelt never sits quite right so you’re always adjusting it.

9. You worry about riding in other people’s cars, also because of the seatbelt issue.

10. Zip-lining? Forget it.

11. You actually read the weight limits on ladders before you step on them.

12. You avoid folding chairs like the plague (and keep your own super duty chair in the car, just in case).

13. You imagine you would kill the poor mule if you were to sign up for the mule ride to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

14. Your feet hurt.

15. You get winded far too quickly.

16. You avoid being in pictures, even of events that you want to remember. When you are in pictures, you dislike what you see.

17. Clothes generally either feel tight or sloppy.

18. Even purse straps seem too small.

19. You feel like servers judge your order in restaurants.

20. The sides of chairs leave marks in your legs when you get up.