That’s how it felt when I saw some of the names visiting the blog. I’m delighted that some of you are still hanging around, and I’m so grateful. I had completely forgotten what it feels like to get all these positive affirmations. Well, views at least. It’s easy to see why young people can get so caught up in social media.
It really does give you a little adrenaline rush to see that your words are reaching others. At least for me it does. I can understand why people get obsessed with the number of followers they have, and how huge their Insta and other accounts can grow. For me, it’s just this little blog , and this poor blog has been so neglected recently.
At least I’m old enough to have old friends, from before the time when technology ruled our lives. Still, we use the tech to keep in touch. Anyway, it was good to see some familiar names, And I’m so glad you are still part of this blogging world.
Well, here I am once again. I was challenged by a friend, who is a far more prolific writer than I am, to at least write a blog post. Well, E. here it is, in all its awkward glory. Why awkward? Because I feel like a stranger here, in my very own blog. Things look different. Things work in different ways. Even the login process was different. Not bad. Easy, in fact. But still, different.
From the very beginning, in June of 2013, this blog has been all about me, me, me. Me as a parent, as an educator, as a friend, as a partner, and as a daughter and sister. More than all of those versions of me, though, this blog has been a record of the ups and downs of my never-ending quest for the healthiest version of me. My weight has fluctuated, as has my motivation. Currently my weight is on a downward trajectory, with the help of medication, an app, and a food delivery service. Oh, and orders from my doctor. Can’t forget those. Is it pricey? You bet, but like the L’Oreal commercials say, “I’m worth it.”
I’m at a weight that I reached about 2 years ago, wearing the smallest clothes in my closet, but for some reason it doesn’t feel like it did 2 years ago. That time around I felt like I was powerful, strong, in charge. I was a warrior going to battle. Then I ran out of steam. Time passed, things changed, and some of the fifty plus pounds I shed made their way back onto my frame. Those pounds are gone again, but so is my warrior persona. Now I’m mostly just resigned. I suppose I look better, and there are definitely some things that are easier to do (like flying, my favorite), and really my labs have never been better (at least not in the last couple of decades). Still, I’m just not feeling it this time around.
I might have a little bit of imposter syndrome. I’m using medication, which makes the weight loss so much easier. Is that cheating? Do I get to feel the same kind of triumph? If we were talking about anyone else, I would say, “Of course!” but I don’t generally give myself the same kind of grace that I give to others. Maybe it’s a little bit of the perfectionist in me. I know I have a long way to go to get this body to its peak of health, and frankly it seems unrealistic to think that I will ever reach an “ideal” weight, but I’m still out here trying. So there you have it, and now you’re thinking, no wonder she hasn’t written anything in over a year. Of course blogging is like so many other things, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Hopefully I can remember that when it comes to the healthy habits I’m trying to cultivate.
I can’t believe it’s only the second day of November, and already I have regrets. First off, my exercise routine has gone straight out the window. I had some minor surgery which has prevented me from really exercising to the fullest. Truthfully though, since it’s too cold to go in my pool, I probably would not have been exercising anyway. Now that’s not to say that I haven’t done any exercise, I have done some, just not as much as my body needs. I guess since it’s only the second day of the month, it’s not too late to fix the exercise issue. However, I can’t turn back the hands of time, and redo yesterday.
Since yesterday was November 1, I had good intentions of blogging each day in November. I’ve done it before, and really enjoyed the experience. In fact, several years ago one of my November posts was freshly pressed. I enjoyed my far less than 15 minutes of pseudo-fame from that post, and wouldn’t mind seeing some more readers checking out my little corner of the internet.
It’s not really about fame, though. I really would just like to get back into a productive blogging habit. Using my WordPress app on my phone seems to be helpful. At least so far. Maybe if I set an alarm for each day I’ll remember to put up a blog post every day for the rest of this month. No promises though.
One thing I do not regret is the amount of time I’ve been spending quilting recently. Although it’s really my friend who has done the actual quilting. I’ve sent her three quilt tops that she has professionally quilted for me on her large quilting machine. She does excellent work, and she has made my patchwork look terrific.
Another non-regret is the fact that I’ve been a more active football fan this season. When I was a kid, our class took a field trip to our team’s brand new stadium. It was magnificent. That’s when I became a football fan. Back in those days kids would write about their field trips on these giant pieces of paper that had a big space at the top for an illustration. My essay and illustration somehow survived my entire childhood and is now framed in my laundry room. Second grade me decided to illustrate my essay with a crayon drawing of OJ Simpson. We didn’t see The Juice, or any of the players, but the visit to the stadium left an impression on me. So did four trips to the Super Bowl without a win. Last year I rediscovered my team, and this year I’ve been enjoying watching and listening to them. Most weeks we don’t get the game where I live, so I listen to the team’s radio broadcast instead.
The commercials on those broadcasts transport me back to my childhood hometown. I went to school with the dentist, I worked with the daughter of one car dealer, and my first brand new car was purchased from the other. Things don’t really change much in that community.
Anyway, I’m glad the weather has finally cooled down, and we have a few weeks before the Christmas season onslaught begins in earnest. I, for one, plan to enjoy the rest of the month of November. I hope you enjoy it too.
BulgingButtons 