Candy | BulgingButtons

Friday we celebrated Valentine’s Day in my fourth grade classroom. There was no avoiding it, and honestly I enjoy this celebration.

I’ve always worked to keep it low key, since for the majority of my teaching career I worked in a school where many of the children come from rather dire situations. Sometimes there isn’t money for Valentines, and sometimes there isn’t anyone at home who cares whether a child has Valentines to bring to school or not. It’s really very sad, since a box of store bought Valentines can be had for a dollar, far less than the cost of a pack of cigarettes or six pack of beer or another tattoo, but I digress.

I don’t work in that situation anymore, and the atmosphere on Valentine’s Day was electric. The children were so excited to share their cards and candies, and I couldn’t help but enjoy their enthusiasm. We had a wonderful morning and accomplished all that we set out to do, then after lunch we finally distributed cards. I had a couple of kids who didn’t bring their own cards distribute mine, and I soaked in the atmosphere. The kids were happy and cooperative and they reminded me of my own elementary school Valentine’s days. I also watched as my little bag overflowed, and heart shaped boxes of candy piled up next to it. These kids spoiled me like crazy! Along with the cards and hearts, I received a giant kiss, a pink Webkinz fish, and a Starbucks gift card. All of these are great, but my absolute favorite is the little solar powered pig with wings that I was given by one of my little boys. O.M.G. It’s adorable. The kids know I love my flying pigs, and this little guy found the perfect one. It has a place of honor in the classroom.

I’m so fortunate to work with these children, and with these families who go out of their way to help their kids out and show appreciation for their teachers. I definitely felt the love this Valentine’s Day, and for that I am so grateful.

No doubt many of you have already seen this little gem by now and have formed your own opinions about it. My first reaction? You have got to be kidding me. My next reaction involved some choice words that I prefer to keep out of print for now.

I think the story goes something like this: a woman in the midwest wants to do her civic duty by proclaiming her neighbors’ children obese and giving them notes to that effect instead of candy on Halloween night. The notes not only explain what a wonderful service she is doing them, but go on to suggest that the parents ration the candy the children happen to accumulate from the disappointing neighbors who might stoop to give them any.

Jeez, talk about fat shaming. This is fat shaming and parent shaming and just plain old nastiness all rolled into one self-serving holier-than-thou pile of crap. Let’s face it, this note is just plain mean.

Here’s the deal, I’m usually a pretty open minded individual. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I generally try to convince myself that people have others’ best interests at heart. In this case I just don’t see it.

If you think giving candy to some kids and mean spirited notes to others is somehow going to improve their health, you’re out of your mind. You’re worried about childhood obesity? Don’t give out candy. Better yet, don’t give out anything. Turn off your light and stay away from the windows. Your neighbors will probably thank you. Especially those with the chubby children who you will target with your ill conceived notes.

Notes which, by the way, you apparently spent considerable time on, including a cute graphic. Which makes me wonder if this is even real. Who shared this with the world? Halloween hasn’t happened yet. Is someone pulling the wool over our eyes? Are we being pranked?

I hope so , because you don’t know every child’s story. You don’t know every family’s story. Neither do I. If they’re letting their kids trick-or-treat that’s their business. If you don’t want to participate, don’t. You don’t get to pick and choose which kids get a treat and which kids don’t. If you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing. Sit this one out and admit that maybe you’re not the expert on everything. You want to help kids? Help your community? Fantastic. This is not the way to do it.