exercise | BulgingButtons

July 17, 2015
by BulgingButtons 2 Comments

I Want to Swim With Dolphins

I have always loved the water. Maybe it’s because my parents started taking me “swimming” while I was still a baby, or maybe it’s because my zodiac sign is Cancer, or maybe it’s something else entirely. Whatever the reason, I love to be in the water, it’s my happy place.

You know who else is happy in the water? Dolphins!

Yes, I know that’s obvious, but wouldn’t it be great if I could share the water with a dolphin? A friendly one, of course.

I recently saw “A Dolphin’s Tale” and its sequel, and I kept thinking about how cool it would be to share some pool time with one of those amazing creatures. Well, now it looks like I just might get the chance. Maybe.

I’m in the (very) early stages of planning a trip to the Caribbean, and there’s a possibility that swimming with a dolphin might actually happen. I would love this. I know it wouldn’t be like in the movies. In fact I might be a little bit terrified (after all, dolphins are BIG, and what if the dolphin is in a bad mood that day?). Still, the idea is absolutely thrilling.

Now for the reality part, my size. Will I have to be smaller to fit into the life vest they provide? Is there a weight limit? (I know, this is silly, a dolphin could easily haul me around in the water, my son did it when he was a tiny kid). Still, these are concerns I have. Oh, and the concern of looking fabulous for my “dolphin and me” photo. Of course there’s a photo!

I so want to do this. I don’t think I’ll have that many more opportunities to try it. It’s still a few months away, so if I get cracking now, who knows? A dolphin. Imagine.

May 9, 2015
by BulgingButtons 6 Comments

The Back Butt

Today I got brave and got into the swimming pool for the first time this season. Usually that milestone occurs in late April, but the weather has been a little odd this year (in a wonderful way, I wouldn’t change it!).

This is not actually me. I’m not a redhead.

I really should have waited just a bit longer. My pool doesn’t have a heater, and it was COLD. I’m not sure how cold, because I didn’t feel like retrieving the thermometer to find out, since it wasn’t conveniently located next to the edge of the pool. Trust me, though, it was cold.

Usually when you get into a pool you wait to “get used to” the water temperature. Today I just waited to get numb.

Needless to say, I didn’t last long in the water, but I did go in up to my waist, so that’s an accomplishment. I’m looking forward to warmer water and the chance to start walking my laps again. I enjoy walking in the pool, in fact water exercise is about the only exercise I actually like.

I desperately need that exercise, too, as I realized when I was changing out of my swimsuit. I have the bathroom of a thousand mirrors, so no matter how hard I try NOT to see myself in there, I can’t help it. Not only that, but I get the weirdest views. Today it was of my back as I slid my arms through my bra straps. Oh my. I glanced up to be greeted by the sight of what appeared to be a whole second butt, right between my bra straps. My back has gotten so fat that the ridge along my spine looks just like a butt crack, surrounded by fleshy cheeks. Ew. I was at once horrified and strangely fascinated by this turn of events. When did it happen? Can I make it stop? Is it visible through my clothes? And ew again.

So there you have it, the revolting discovery of the day along with the realization that while swimsuit season is a nightmare for me, I need it more than ever.