I figured I had, but now I’m not so sure. This may actually be the first time in my life that I have the real, live, actual, bona fide flu. F.L.U. Influenza, baby, that’s what I’m talking about, and it’s not pretty.

It all started last weekend, my sweetie wasn’t feeling well, and he spent all day Saturday sleeping. All day. Kind of weird, but ok. Then he spent all day Sunday sleeping too. Okay, that was odd. I picked up the kid from his father’s place and headed off to my mom’s for a visit with out of town family. YAY!

We had dinner reservations at 7:30. Nobody told me that. We arrived there at 5:30. Just in time for a nice visit while we waiting for everyone to change out of swimsuits and into dinner clothes. But for some reason time seemed to be dragging. And no, I wasn’t hungry, and no, neither was son. In fact, I was feeling kind of off. And hot. And so was he.

Out came the thermometer, and son clocked in at 100.2 (he very rarely runs a temp, even when he was little and had ear infections all the time he wouldn’t have a fever). When it was my turn I registered 102. OY.

We said our goodbyes and headed out. I dropped son off at his dad’s, then off to bed for me, hopeful that I could sleep it off. At 3 am I could tell it wasn’t going to simply pass, and I called in for a sub. I went in to work at around 6 to set up, only to find out that there would be no sub that day. Son’s father called him in sick to school and reminded me that he was going out of town. Oh yeah.

I made a doctor’s appointment, and got the official diagnosis. On the way out I asked if they could squeeze son in later in the day. They did, and he received his official diagnosis too. Do you know how much Tamilflu costs? Over $100, and that’s with insurance. Oh, and it took visits to separate pharmacies to fill those prescriptions, because apparently I got the last dose at one pharmacy. Then there’s the cough medicine with codeine, which had to be filled later. Five pharmacy trips (to 3 pharmacies) and 2 doctor’s visits later, we finally made it home and crashed. Ah, blissful slumber. Sweetheart was already there, sleeping.

On Tuesday I made a valiant effort to go to work, after all, there was some state testing that needed to be administered. I was too sick to be there, that much was clear to everyone but me. I was more or less escorted out of the building and told not to return the following day. I didn’t. I missed the state capitol field trip. The one where the protestors overran the capitol museum where 100 of our students were touring. Wow. I did make it to school on Thursday, and lasted all day (barely), but yesterday was a day off, one which I needed. I’m still sick. My kid is still sick, and my sweetheart is still sick.

And in case you were wondering, yes, I got my flu shot this year.

This illness is soul-sucking. It is life draining. It is energy zapping. It takes the shine out of your eyes, the smile off of your face, and the joy out of your heart. It makes you hack and wheeze and sniffle and sneeze and belch and fart and sleep and sleep and sleep. It makes you want to curl up in a ball, but you can’t because you’re too hot, so then you stretch out, but then you’re freezing. It makes you want to be a different species. One that doesn’t get flu. Ever. It makes the life of an insect seem momentarily appealing.

I hope you don’t have the flu. I hope you don’t get it. Ever. I hope I don’t get it again. Ever. Ever.