friends | BulgingButtons

This morning I woke up a little bit anxious. I have a really busy day planned, and for that I’m glad. The day’s events will start with breakfast with a dear friend, whom I don’t see often enough. We will catch up on each other’s stories, and she will tell me about her recent trip, which I enjoyed vicariously through her online photos. I can’t wait to spend time with her.

The day will end with a small dinner party at the new home of one of my dear colleagues. The warmth and friendship and food and drink will be excellent, and I know it will be a memorable evening. I’m looking forward to seeing how they have transformed this house with their unique touches, and I’m so happy to be spending time away from the pressures of work with these wonderful people.

In between all that good happy stuff (and food temptation, oy vey) is my thing. My reading. Yikes. You see, I have been participating in a writing workshop for the past year or so, and each fall and spring the group does a reading. The workshop is in conjunction with a museum, and the fall reading is rather small and done in the museum. The spring reading includes past workshop participants and is held next door at the performing arts center. Gulp. Last year I took a pass on both.

The thing is, underneath my fun loving exterior I’m actually an introvert. The current personality type gimmick going around Facebook, based on the Meyers Briggs Personality Types, suggests that I’m a meerkat at heart. I’m not sure how accurate that is, but I’m not a big fan of crowds, public speaking, or fear. It takes me some time to warm up to new people, and I do best with a small intimate group (note the events for which I am excited today, above). Still, I’ve been writing a lot, and I mean really a lot, between a novel in a month and a post a day, and keeping up with class, well, that’s a lot. I’ve also been sharing much of it with all of you. So why not put my big girl panties on (literally), take a deep breath, and step up to the microphone? I can do this. I’m a writer, and I write to be read. Why not face my anxiety and read my work to an audience? The worst that can happen is silence, and I know I can handle that.

Isn’t is odd that I can take on an auditorium of 500 kids with no problem, but a room with maybe 39 adults gives me the heebie jeebies? I guess because kids are more forgiving of mistakes (or don’t even notice them). Oh well, a little challenge here and there leads to personal growth, and I’m all for that. Now I’m going to print out my piece, put it in my purse with my glasses, and go have a relaxing breakfast with my friend. Today is going to be a wonderful day.

…What was it that you were doing?

It’s not unusual for me to feel like time is slipping away, but it’s not usually because I’m in a state of bliss. The easiest way for me to lose track of time is to get on the internet. Pinterest, alone, can suck up hours of time that could certainly be used more productively. I enjoy it, but it’s hardly a state of bliss.

It’s similar when I’m quilting. I could spend several hours working on a quilt, but it may feel as if just a short time has passed. Again, it’s not a state of bliss, but it is a state of total absorption. Reading a good book, watching a good movie, or working on a scrapbook page can do the same thing. Those activities draw me in and, when all goes well, don’t let go until a long while later.

What makes time stand still, though, is spending time with friends. It can be sitting out by the pool drinking wine and catching up, a crazy road trip, or an evening of sewing or scrapbooking. When I’m with my girlfriends time takes on another dimension. I don’t worry about it and allow myself to get lost in those moments. Those moments are so rare and precious to me, just like my girlfriends.