Not bad for a fat girl


So Relieved It’s Not Just Me

untitledI always think that I’m the only one who does things that are less than smooth, although I know that isn’t the case. Still, when someone I admire messes up, it kind of makes me do a little happy dance. Not big mess ups, mind you, I’m not like that. It’s just the little flubs that happen to everyone from time to time that put a smile on my face.

Hopefully it’s not because I’m a real jerk, although it might be. I don’t think so, though. I think it’s because those little goof ups remind me that I’m not alone in my imperfection. Naturally I knew this, but somehow these little reminders from time to time help me keep my own mess ups in perspective.

You see, I don’t think anything less of my friends and colleagues when they have little lapses in common sense, but I do tend to get down on myself. I mentally scold myself for being clumsy, or forgetful, or hasty, or what have you. Would I do that to my friends? Never! Instead,  I try to help them laugh off the moment. Or I drink wine with them.


Well, yes. Sometimes when you mess up the best thing to do is to have a glass of wine. It was tonight.

Let me explain. Tonight I went to a friend’s for dinner. There were five of us in all, and when I arrived the other four were standing on the driveway. “What a warm reception,” I thought to myself. I was wrong.

Sure, I was welcomed warmly, but the group was outside because the hostess managed to lock herself out as she was sweeping the porch in preparation for our arrival. Oops. Naturally her phone was inside and her husband was out of town. So was her neighbor with the spare key.  Uh oh.

The locksmith was stuck in traffic, it was a beautiful evening, and a kind neighbor (who earlier tried to pick the lock… what?) brought over a corkscrew and some plastic cups.  Off to the back patio we went, bottles of wine in hand (who goes to a friend’s for dinner without wine?). It ended up being a lovely cocktail hour and after we got inside, a lovely dinner.

My friend handled the situation with grace, and a laugh. What else can you do? Beat yourself up over a simple mistake? But that’s what we do to ourselves. We could all relax a little,  sit back with our glass of wine and take a deep breath as remember that after all, we’re only human.


Reading My Writing

microphone-clip-art-9This morning I woke up a little bit anxious. I have a really busy day planned, and for that I’m glad. The day’s events will start with breakfast with a dear friend, whom I don’t see often enough. We will catch up on each other’s stories, and she will tell me about her recent trip, which I enjoyed vicariously through her online photos. I can’t wait to spend time with her.

The day will end with a small dinner party at the new home of one of my dear colleagues. The warmth and friendship and food and drink will be excellent, and I know it will be a memorable evening. I’m looking forward to seeing how they have transformed this house with their unique touches, and I’m so happy to be spending time away from the pressures of work with these wonderful people.

In between all that good happy stuff (and food temptation, oy vey) is my thing. My reading. Yikes. You see, I have been participating in a writing workshop for the past year or so, and each fall and spring the group does a reading. The workshop is in conjunction with a museum, and the fall reading is rather small and done in the museum. The spring reading includes past workshop participants and is held next door at the performing arts center. Gulp. Last year I took a pass on both.

The thing is, underneath my fun loving exterior I’m actually an introvert. The current personality type gimmick going around Facebook, based on the Meyers Briggs Personality Types, suggests that I’m a meerkat at heart. I’m not sure how accurate that is, but I’m not a big fan of crowds, public speaking, or fear. It takes me some time to warm up to new people, and I do best with a small intimate group (note the events for which I am excited today, above).  Still, I’ve been writing a lot, and I mean really a lot, between a novel in a month and a post a day, and keeping up with class, well, that’s a lot. I’ve also been sharing much of it with all of you. So why not put my big girl panties on (literally), take a deep breath, and step up to the microphone? I can do this. I’m a writer, and I write to be read. Why not face my anxiety and read my work to an audience? The worst that can happen is silence, and I know I can handle that.

Isn’t is odd that I can take on an auditorium of 500 kids with no problem, but a room with maybe 39 adults gives me the heebie jeebies? I guess because kids are more forgiving of mistakes (or don’t even notice them). Oh well, a little challenge here and there leads to personal growth, and I’m all for that. Now I’m going to print out my piece, put it in my purse with my glasses, and go have a relaxing breakfast with my friend. Today is going to be a wonderful day.