BulgingButtons

Not bad for a fat girl

Tag Archives: Friendship


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Feeling Pretty Popular

 

facebook-add-as-friend1I was never the popular girl in school. I wasn’t unpopular either, at least I don’t think so. I always had friends and I didn’t worry about being part of an “in” crowd. In fact the only “in” crowd I was really aware of were a couple of girls a few years younger than me who decided that they enjoyed being bottle blondes. Whatever.

I had fun in school. I liked high school, in spite of a few difficult times. Overall, it was a blast, and I made great friends who I still keep in touch with.

That’s saying a lot, for me. I’m not great at keeping in touch. Weird for someone who enjoys writing, but true. I’m not big on making phone calls, and writing letters has pretty much gone the way of the dinosaur for me, which is too bad. I used to write lots of them, and receive them too. That’s ancient history now. Now it’s all about social media.

Through the modern miracle of Facebook I still keep in touch with friends from as far back as kindergarten and yes, even nursery school. I don’t have oodles of Facebook friends, but I like the ones I have. I don’t add new ones often, since at heart I’m pretty much an introvert, so I don’t collect friends as easily as someone more extraverted might. That’s why I was so surprised last weekend to receive not one, not two, not three, but four friend requests. My mind was blown.

Let me explain. None of those four individuals know each other. One lives in New Jersey, one in Texas, and two in Arizona. I know them from completely different parts of my life, and I had only seen one of them within the past week, but I don’t think we said more than “hello” on that occasion, simply due to circumstances.

Why any of these people thought to themselves that they should hear more from me is beyond my imagination, but I’m glad they did. These are people I like, and would like to be in closer contact with. Now that we’re “friends” that will be easier. I’ve already gotten caught up with one of them through pictures and “chatted” with another via messages. What a treat.

Whatever the reason, I’m glad I was on their minds over the last few days. It’s been a treat to reconnect, and an unexpected surprise. When someone reaches out to you, it makes you feel as though you count, and everyone wants to count. Thanks to my four “new” friends more making me count.

 

 


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Can You Go Back?

I attended my high school reunion over the weekend. We do this ritual every ten years or so, and I haven’t missed one yet. I was sorry that some of my classmates couldn’t attend due to distance and schedules and the general nuts and bolts of life, but that’s to be expected. It doesn’t diminish the event for me if every friend I’ve ever had can’t be there. In fact, there were more than enough people there for me to try to figure out who’s who.hs1

I have to tell you, overall my classmates look pretty darn good to me. As a group they have aged well. Sure, there are a few exceptions but overall they don’t look a whole lot different than they did way back when, except that now they look like adults. Well, most of them. I swear there are two or three who got stuck in some soft of funky time warp thing.

I’ve been thinking about the weekend and all the people I saw, and what struck me was how much positive energy I felt with that group. It makes sense, doesn’t it? The people who are feeling pretty good about life, and don’t mind spending the time and energy it takes to get to the reunion (even if they live around the corner) are the ones who show up. The ones who are struggling stay at home. Those who hated high school or who hate people in general can’t be bothered to come to this event. That’s okay. I’m not saying high school is the be all, end all. Quite the opposite. In fact, I was struck by how little of the conversation had anything to do with high school at all. Time and again I caught up with people and learned what their lives are like now. There have been triumphs and tragedies, but nobody seemed to dwell in the past.

I was glad to see that. I think of the old Bruce Springsteen song, “Glory Days” and feel relieved that I’m part of a group that isn’t living that depressing reality. Our best days are not behind us. Our best days are everyday. Can you go back? Certainly, as long as you continue to simultaneously go forward.


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You Can’t Hide a Sonoran Hot Dog, At Least Not From the Scale

8370380481_1b40089c4b“What’s a Sonoran Hot Dog?” you ask.

It’s pure genius. For those of you who like hot dogs (and I imagine that’s most of you) this is a wonderful South of the Border twist. It’s a hot dog served with chilis, pinto beans, tomato, cheese, and mayo. Mmmmm. I know it may not sound all that great, but trust me, it’s fantastic. Oh, and did I mention that it’s typically wrapped in bacon? Yeah. It is.

Now in my defense, the dog I had yesterday was only based on a Sonoran Hot Dog. It was lacking the bacon. It did, however, have everything else, and it was fabulous. So was the steak dinner complete with baked potato and wine and half a piece of lemon cake, and so was the dinner at the fondue restaurant. Oh, and the drinks from Starbucks and that croissant, and the ice cream cone and the tacos and beer and the oatmeal cookie and the piece of cake at the baby shower. It was all fabulous. And it was all a mistake.

I know I messed up, but for some reason I kept messing up. I needed to go to my Weight Watchers meeting and assess the damage so I could start doing damage control. I knew I gained back some of the 15 pounds I lost, but I didn’t know how much. I braced myself. There was no point in waiting any longer. I wasn’t going to magically change my ways without a kick in the rear. So, steeling myself, I went. I got on the scale expecting the worst, and got the news. Yes, I gained. But here’s the bizarre part… it was less than two pounds!

How did that happen? It must be all the physical activity I’ve been doing recently. That’s all I can think of, because my eating has been way off track (see paragraph two). I dodged a bullet for sure, and now I get to dust myself off and start over. Every day you get to start over. It doesn’t matter if it’s weight loss, addiction, relationships, or exercise. Every day you get to begin again. I love that about life. Even if I mess up today I get to have another crack at it all tomorrow.

I did mess up today. Not just with my eating, but with my friend. We made tentative plans to have lunch together. I knew I might have to do something that would make it impossible to meet her, so I told her I would confirm. I didn’t. I just plain forgot. I forget things so I set reminders in my phone. Well, for some reason my phone decided to do nothing but act as a clock for several hours. I missed the reminder. I missed her text messages. I missed the lunch. I wouldn’t have been able to meet her anyway, but I needed to let her know. I felt like a heel. Lucky for me, she’s a good friend and very forgiving. Now I need to be as forgiving to myself and my dear friends are to me.

Don’t we all deserve to treat ourselves as we would treat our closest friends? We wouldn’t beat them up (verbally I mean) for making a mistake, would we? But we do hold them accountable. We aren’t doormats, but we do forgive and move on. I think I need to remember that as I work to be my own best friend more often than my own worst enemy.